Okay, so it's taken me several weeks to get over my CPNE PTSD and finally write about my experience. Please don't discount the reality of the PTSD you may experience when you are done. I had nightmares and depression for 2 solid weeks after the test even though I passed. For the past year, I imagined how I would act after passing my CPNE. From jumping up on the nurses station, to dancing at my graduation party....I had all the scenarios mapped out in my head. Nothing prepared me for how I felt afterward. I came home from the CPNE and got into bed and slept the entire day and night. I tossed and turned and had nightmares about my PCS's, Excelsior finding something I didn't document and revoking my PASS status, you name it....if it was horrible, I dreamt it. I walked around like a zombie for the first week, because I didn't know what to do with myself. I had spent the week before locked in my room practicing over and over for 8 or more hours a day. I wanted to be happy and excited, but I just wasn't. The following week was a bit better, the nightmares became less frequent, but I still had this overwhelming feeling of dread that this just wasn't real and somehow my pass would now be a fail. This week I feel fine, I feel proud and excited. I want to go out and celebrate and I am able to talk about my experience, because I KNOW it's real and I KNOW that Excelsior ISN'T going to call me and tell me I really failed!
