Finally off orientation!

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Hey all,

I've made it through orientation.

After 22 years away from the bedside, I'm gonna be on my own for the very first time this coming Thursday. My job to work off my narcotic restriction is a busy med-surg floor, then 6 mos beyond to complete IPN on/or around 7/27/2020. When I envisioned what it would be like, I expected the patient care to be the most overwhelming aspect. It is, somewhat. But, I just keep my body where my head is and move forward. It's work. Lots of things have changed, but a patient is still a patient. I like the work.

What I had not expected was that my new coworkers would be the biggest barrier to success. Not all of them, but the two mainly responsible for my progress. Through out this entire, long and painful process I have managed to keep a little light burning within. Times during orientation I've been slower, or 'behind,' but I was working and I felt stressed but happy. Perhaps it was my own fault for asking, but being the human that I am, I was looking for reassurances or maybe an 'atta girl.' I'd ask, 'how am I doing?' And I'd get a resounding, "terrible! You're behind, you need to hurry up, etc!" Well, I did ask.

The thing is, I didn't feel terrible. To me, my attitude is directly related to whether or not I'm having a 'bad' day. Regardless of if I'm behind, I don't feel terrible. Perhaps, it's naive of me. Maybe I should be a nervous wreck... but, I'm not. I'm happy! I was getting no 'real time' critique about things I could be doing to improve time management. I'd get report and I was just left flat, to my own devices. Sink or swim, and sometimes I sank. No patients were harmed in the process and I was blissfully unaware that I was 'awful.' So, today I aked if I could come off of orientation? The answer was, 'yes!' And I couldn't be happier!

Just to be able to feel my own feelings about how my day is going is a gift! Maybe I suck, but I don't know it until I am told. So, I'm not asking anybody anymore.

I plan on having a great day! I hope you do too.

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Specializes in ER.

Congratulations on making it, keep up the good work!

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Honestly that’s doing a terrific job! Way 2 go!

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Thanks for your post! You are doing great and I like your positive attitude!

I think that, in general, nurses are people who are extremely hard-working and want to help people; we feel bad when we aren't doing a good job. It's sad how very common -- if not ubiquitous -- it is that these good workers are put into situations in their jobs where we are set up to fail at meeting job expectations due to unreasonable patient loads. How many of us feel that we can get done everything we are expected to get done in a 12-hr hospital day shift (or other time-challenged job situation), even if we don't take enough bathroom breaks and even if we skip lunch (which is not a good idea to do)? I have never spoken with a nurse who works in the hospital as you do who did not wish they had more time to care for each patient. We all feel each patient deserves more quality care. We may differ in how much we think is a reasonable work load. For me when I was on med-surg, four difficult patients or five medium patients or six easy patients is TOO MANY to do a fantastic job. And I sorely want to do a fantastic job!

My point is, you have found that wonderful positive attitude that I also eventually found (after many tears of frustration) that says to oneself: "Yes I may be behind and yes some more experienced nurses might think I suck. But I am doing the absolute best that I can to keep my patients safe and that is all I can do. And for that, I can feel happy about what I'm doing."

If someone tells me how to be better, I'll listen. If someone tells me how to better ensure my patients are safe, I'll pay attention. I'll always be learning how to become better. But I am aware that I only have two hands and cannot be everywhere at once. Until higher quality patient care is valued over profits, until hospitals hire more staff, nurses will most always be RUNNING BEHIND. And that's whether or not you work in endoscopy, pun intended. ?

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Specializes in OR.

Congrats on making it. I knew you would. I think I speak for all of us that have been out of circulation for a while when I say that our confidence has taken a beating. Unfortunately the peer “assistance”(y’all know I use that term loosely, ?) programs provide minimal help in that area. However, my thought is, if we can make it through a monitoring program we can make it through anything....and so you have.

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the ones who say you're "doing terrible" or "behind" don't know how truly badass you are for everything you've been through and have to do in recovery and this program. you've moved mountains to get where you are and give some of us who are newer to this whole thing a lot of hope. I can probably guess when they say that you must be thinking "well my worst day now is still better than my best day using" or thinking "you don't know what terrible looks like" of course we cant say those things...well we can on here. congrats.

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Thanks everyone. One thing that IPN has given me is the support of other nurses. We don't always get that in real life working environments.

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Specializes in Tele.

tell me which evaluators to avoid and which parital housing places to avoid? can i change an evaluator? i found one that is close to home and is IPN approved. Why did my CM only referred me to tampa or gainesville i read horrible reviews on all of them! im sure they have money ties to their inpatient program. is this even legal?

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