20 something y/o brand new nurse here. Graduated from a good school with bsn, chose to get a job at a local nursing home. Since beginning of my job, struggled with lots of attitudes. Aides yell at me, refuse to help me. Co-workers blame me for their lives problems and s.. they don't do.. I love patients though.. that's why I am here writing to you all.
Until today.. New admission, asked co-worker if she put the tf. (that's all) She started yelling again. On how it is not her responsibility and how she cleans after my "mess" all the time. After the report, I went to unit managers office. She came behind me, and continued yelling in front of my unit manager.
People know me as smiling girl at this nursing home. Today, finally.. I cried. I do not know how to answer people from their level. I always try to answer rationally, but when cuss words are involved. I seriously do not know how to answer. Like do I have to go to their level?
My unit manager advised me I am should more assertive and bossy. But, fellas, I am ready to leave this place. I want to smile again.
You didn't say what the unit manager did while the person was yelling. Telling you later to be more assertive isn't going to do much for establishing her authority over that person, or for defending you in your work place.
File incident reports, every time this person raises her voice to you, or refuses to assist in the care needed (date and time very important). Be very factual, blunt but only concrete data or direct quotes. Start using the words "work place violence" and "hostile work place". Send a copy not only to your unit manager, but also her superior. Ours are online, and can't be controlled where they are sent, but if you can, send it in emails to both, and to yourself (for a copy). Establishing a pattern of harrassment is important.
Managers can't do much if people aren't willing to put problems into writing, but once it is written, it is much harder to ignore. If after this the problems are ignored, definately time to move on.
Wish someone had told me this, back in the day when I was new, young, and easy to push around. I didn't know any better then, when I was being undermined by older nurses who were threatened by me (first BSN ever hired there, geez, some of the stories I could tell about that LTC).
Listen, you got this. You are perfectly poised to become an effective assertive nurse. You can express yourself, be pleasant and now, you have to master the last piece: be assertive. You already have two out of three. Look the mean person in the eye and politely, pleasantly HOLD YOUR GROUND. I agree with JBudd: use words like hostile work environment and violence. If threats are made, even vague ones, remind person that threats are illegal! Tell the person swearing is not appropriate.
And yes, go ahead and find another job if it suits your situation. Life is too short.
This same thing happened to me. I came out of school and went straight to LTC. Some staff that had worked at that facility since it opened its doors, and they like to chomp on "fresh meat". I was a particular target, because I was a good nurse that got my job done and just doing the "bare minimum" was unacceptable to me (Just sayin! ) I had a couple of times I had to calmly walk away and shed some tears in private, but I had to learn to stand up to them. Once I showed them I wasn't going to put up with the harrassment, they left me alone. But if your unhappy with your current work enviroment, then find another one. Like VICEDRN stated above, Life is too short to put up with petty immature coworkers, and you should be able to enjoy something you do 30-40 hours a week.
Well I am still a student but having had many years of military experience I think I can speak to this. Weak leadership can be like a cancer to an organization if there are those who wish to exploit it. I had my Adult Med-Surg clinical this past semester at the VA hospital here in town and it strikes me that there are many people who work in places like the VA, or in nursing homes who have no business caring for another human being. Particularly some of the aides have been the worst offenders. I think many people figure it is an easy job and they can kick back and read a book or listen to some tunes, but then get ****** when they have to actually do work.
It sounds to me like you have some sacred cow drama going on where you work and maybe people are angry because you are raising the bar. The lazy and the incompetent like to maintain their comfort zone, they have no desire to improve. I'll bet you an ice cream sundae that you are drawing their fire because they see you as a threat. I can understand you feeling depressed and wanting to quit, and that is the saddest part of all. The fact that you wanted to serve this vulnerable population is a great and wondrous thing. If you choose to stick it out, and I hope you do, continue up the food chain and document. It sounds lame but keep a journal of incidents, dates/times and names. The greatest ammunition you can have in a political firefight like this is accurate facts.
Specializes in cardiac CVRU/ICU/cardiac rehab/case management.
I am gentle in my nature and found the 1st yr nursing challenging because dominant characters were allowed to run a muck . You will learn to toughen . I am here to attest it does happen. Your manager is not a good one. I reflect back now on how much I put up with myself. Make the decision to leave and begin looking. Once I made the decision to leave (I told no one ) the remaining months I stayed I made the decisions to focus just on learning . Something sort of snapped in me where out of nowhere I decided this is a temporary situation that I am going to use to make me the best nurse I can be. I completely stopped caring who liked or didnt like me. Some how that made it much easier. I decided I would find a way to ask for as little help as possible.
Unit nursing will probably work better for you,you function more independently in your own cubicles. That kindness you have pt will appreciate and tell you that. This will boast your confidence. Over time other nurses will begin to see your skill and kindness as something honorable. It does take time. Meantime hang in.
The aide is just unhappy,thats why she is such a misery. She will be a misery long after you have left. Remember next time she is just proclaiming her own misery next time she shouts. It has nothing to do with you.
The manager who stood back and let an aide peck at me was herself fired yrs later. Everything comes to those who wait. Do your time, focus on getting skilled then find a unit or another branch of nursing where your skill will be valued. Kindness is one of the best virtues. There is nothing weak about being kind.Hang tight,it will get better. Just remember you will be shinning soon. Start looking now for a better oppurtunity. It will come.
Oh my... wow... if you have 6 months of experience try elsewhere! No one deserves to be treated like that... and management didnt do anything... keep it moving girl! That was a sign that things wont get better and they tolerate blatant disrespect!
I can totally feel your pain. I too work in long term care. However, I have worked in other settings and can tell you that there is no setting like the nursing home. In my time in LTC, I have seen some of the worst behavior from both co-workers, patients and their family members. It is also my personal opinion that LTC is not always the best setting for a new nurse. You are only human and you should not feel embarrassed that you cried. The fact that you have that kind of emotion also lets me know that you are probably a very compassionate person who cares alot about your residents. Let that roll off your shoulders and keep going with your head held high. You are in an environment that is not healthy and it seems like you have no support from management. If that were me, that would be my cue that it's time to go. I have found that when you work for larger organizations like a hospital or a larger business, they have a culture and that type of behavior is usually not allowed. So maybe you should try looking for another job.
Secondly, when I was in my first year of nursing, the other nurses were really mean to me, I mean just downright ignorant. I tolerated it for awhile but one day this nurse tried me and I read her the script. She got red in the face, I told her to get her mind right, gave her 5 minutes, walked away and came back in exactly 5 minutes and asked her if she was good. I didn't have any more problems from any of those nurses once they knew that I would clap back at them. Stand up for yourself, just keep it professional. Good luck. You are awesome, this is just a small challenge in the grand scheme of life. You will get through this and it will make you stronger.
) I had a couple of times I had to calmly walk away and shed some tears in private, but I had to learn to stand up to them. Once I showed them I wasn't going to put up with the harrassment, they left me alone. But if your unhappy with your current work enviroment, then find another one. Like VICEDRN stated above, Life is too short to put up with petty immature coworkers, and you should be able to enjoy something you do 30-40 hours a week.
JBudd, MSN
3,836 Posts
You didn't say what the unit manager did while the person was yelling. Telling you later to be more assertive isn't going to do much for establishing her authority over that person, or for defending you in your work place.
File incident reports, every time this person raises her voice to you, or refuses to assist in the care needed (date and time very important). Be very factual, blunt but only concrete data or direct quotes. Start using the words "work place violence" and "hostile work place". Send a copy not only to your unit manager, but also her superior. Ours are online, and can't be controlled where they are sent, but if you can, send it in emails to both, and to yourself (for a copy). Establishing a pattern of harrassment is important.
Managers can't do much if people aren't willing to put problems into writing, but once it is written, it is much harder to ignore. If after this the problems are ignored, definately time to move on.
Wish someone had told me this, back in the day when I was new, young, and easy to push around. I didn't know any better then, when I was being undermined by older nurses who were threatened by me (first BSN ever hired there, geez, some of the stories I could tell about that LTC).