Feeling unappreciated?

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I have a real moment of pause when I write this new thread as there will undoubtedly be somone who wants to accuse me of having burn-out or an unprofessional attitude. Let me first say, this is a vent and I love this site to allow such vents to be posted and discussed.

I have a real problem with patient's and their families who grab on to an attitude that the nurses are somehow keeping the patient's in the ER for hours due to laziness or..... something. Even when you constantly update your patients or explain that for example: There's a Trauma, or stroke, or MI or any other EMERGENCY taking (Lab/Radiology/EMD/RN/Tech/ect.) presidence at the time.......THEY COP AN ATTITUDE WITH YOU, ROLL THEIR EYES, STOMP THEIR FEET, ACCUSE LAZINESS, THREATEN TO CALL THE CEO...the list goes on.

Yesterday, I had such an episode with a family member when his MIL was brought in with a HR of 165, SOB and hx: of pacer, etc.. It was all fine and dandy when she had 4 sometimes 5 professionals in the room when this acuity was occuring, but 3.5 hours into her visit he is standing over me while I was charting on yet another Emergent OD...1000units insulin suicide attempt/central line insertion, intubated patient....rolling his eyes at me asking why his MIL is still in the ER. I kindly explain the system of waits in the ER and inform him that the ER doc is in another room and when I see him I'll have him come in to talk with him.

This a-hole rolls his eyes at me....stomps his feet, gets in my personal space and rants about how long it's taking.......I had had enough....I stood up, walked into his personal space and repeated word for word what I had just said to him moments ago, and further added...."Sir, now if you will kindly respect my other patients right to their privacy while I chart here at the nurse's station and return to your family member's room, I will beable to help you sooner" ....This woman was not only helped with the acuity , she was given numerous warm blankets, a lunch and repositioning on many occassions/ bed pan, etc......(No break or lunch for any of us on the team...12 hour shifts mind you)

I feel I show great restraint/respect with patient's and families who think they can just talk to the staff the way they do. Why do people think they can just treat staff this way and get away with it? I know the reasons.....because customer service...blah blah blah.....Even when you educate people the time frame tests take, they still get this...."Drive-thru" mentality......Ohhhh does it tick me off.:banghead: Rarely do I ever confront their ignorance, but in the back of my mind, I am looking them right in the eyes and telling them to back off and let us do our job. ER is hard , demanding work...and I wouldn't want to work anywhere else as a nurse. (I don't need to work at all actually, I went back to school to become a nurse) People like this just kick ya in the shins and make me wonder sometimes, why I take the abuse.:banghead:

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you go ahead and vent honey, you are entitled, you are a saint for putting up with this baloney as well as you do

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Specializes in floor to ICU.

I feel your pain, Trauma. I have tried to institute a No Family Day on my tele unit (to no avail.) ;) Sometimes the family members are wonderful and I truly enjoy them. When they're good they're very good but when they're bad...

Our society is plagued with instant gratification. The nursing world runs on priority. It is very hard to merge these two concepts and many times it leaves the nurse feeling frazzled and unappreciated for the good work we do for our patient and families every single day.

:icon_hug:

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Specializes in ED, Tele, Med/surg, Psych, correctional.

COMPLETELY hear you...

I worked triage yesterday 12hrs..waiting room was full with about a 3 hour wait to go back and see a doctor. This non-compliant asthmatic comes in and tells me he hasn't been taking his medication because "he can't afford it"...(guess he didn't know walmart sells albuterol inhalers for 4 bucks)...anyway was a jerk during the entire triage process...when I asked him how much he smoked...he asked me "How much do YOU smoke?"...I finally told him.."look..we can back and forth like this all night but it's just gonna prolong the whole process..I just want to answer the triage questions on my screen". Anyway...he wouldn't sit still for a blood pressure..lungs sounded like crap..so since no beds in the ER and every stretcher in the hallway taken...I get a portable oxygen tank and start treatmetns in the waiting room. In between every new patient that walks in..I am checking on this guy..does he appreciate anything..NO...he tells me "when you're finished playing games in there (meaning the triage room where I am triaging new patients) then maybe you can help me." I got so ****** off..I said "Playing games?...that's what you think I'm doing in there?" He then says "well..taking blood pressures whatever". The guy continued to be insulting...shouting about how the last time he was here "the security guards were watching TV"..I guess that he thought we al just sit around on our hands and do nothing. I triage 56 patients myself yesterday and we started protocols on most if not all of them...starting lines, drawing blood, doing EKGs, giving treatments...all from the waiting room...the fact that he dismisses everything that we were working so hard to accomplish and tell me that I'm "playing games"...just irritated the crap out of me....he ended up going to the back and got a shot of Solumedrol (after his wife was sent to the desk requesting blankets, a turkey sandwich and ginger ale) Because I guess he doesn't have money to eat either. And he got discharged shortly thereafter with a prescription for meds that he won't fill anyway...I'm sure he'll be back again.

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Specializes in Emergency.

Some people operate under the misunderstanding that we are customer service employees and not health care providers. There's a difference between approaching us in a hospital and a cashier at the grocery store. No matter what administration thinks, me smiling at every pt and trying to make everyone happy is way at the bottom of my to do list. My primary goal is to save your butt, make sure you can survive until seen by the MD, make sure your diagnostics are getting going, and treat you as safely and effectively as possible x 5 other pts. So, if you don't like the way I just spoke to your cousins' best friends neighbors mama, who shouldn't be in the room as we have a 1 visitor policy and I CANT FIT THE CRASH CART IN THE ROOM with all 7 of you gawking, open mouthed at the pt, then you can just go suck an egg. Furthermore, who taught you that it is appropriate to speak to a RN that way? The last time I checked, I am highly educated, informed, on the clock and to be respected. So until you have the stones to speak to the MD or a police officer that way, don't ever approach me, demand that I stop whatever important thing I am doing (yes an occasional trip to the bathroom is important), and proceed to mispronounce big words (innappropriately) and expect that I am going to care. If you think that I can't use bigger words, louder and more effectively you are wrong! I am not intimidated by you (hello, I am an ED nurse.) The security guards are my friends. And I have taken down a drunk 22 YOA male who was cracked out and belligerent and if you think your open hostility is going to offend me, you are wrong! Here, this is the contact information for the hospital if you want to complain. No nurse have ever lost her license for being assertive with visitors.

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Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

As insane as M/ S gets, I doff my stethescope to you guys on the front line in the ER. :yeah: :up::bowingpur

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

I sooo hear you. :icon_hug:

Recently I felt about as angry as I think it's possible to be at a LOL. LOL #1 was waiting with a non-urgent complaint and noticed that I had the "audacity" (her word) to walk back others. I was ignoring her steady stream of not-quite-quiet comments to her family when she turned up the volume for the particularly precious comment, "You could die of a heart attack in here." I turned to face her, made *meaningful* eye contact, and replied, "that is precisely what is prevented by the triage system of seeing the most urgent patients first. I'm sorry you didn't fall into that category today."

LOL #2 (same day ...) was indignant that she was waiting to be seen for her forearm skin tear. She walked back into the triage area 4 times demanding to be seen immediately. After my 4 attempts at offering apologies for the wait, she stated, "there's nothing wrong with those other people that got to go back before me!" I honestly don't know how I managed not to giggle.

I document these conversations and offer the number of the ombudsman and/or my manager.

OH - and here's a newer trend I'm seeing lately ... as the media becomes more saturated with tales of overcrowded ERs and uninsured patients ... I am seeing an increasing number of insured patients who seem perplexed that their insurance card does not have the magic power to get them seen immediately. I'm ending more & more triage conversations with, "Have seat back out in the waiting room and they'll call you back to a room as soon as possible ..." only to be met with a blank stare and a quickly whipped out insurance card ... "I have to go back to the waiting room?? I have insurance." Yep ... you have insurance, and I'm glad. Really, I am. However, it doesn't make your ear pain any more emergent. Really. :banghead::banghead:

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OMG.....all of you have made me feel sooooo much better today. Thank you thankyou thankyou!.

Isn't it amazing how our memories of nursing school do not reflect how families and patients will treat you.?????? The only therapeutic communication you received was....psych bound.....

With ER nurse's week coming up, I would love to provide these kind of funny/truthful/ real comments from all of you (minus any reference to names).....during this week.....

Just in the few hours after I posted this, I have been able to deep breath, and realize.......ER NURSES ROCK FOR SURE...........and also realize>>>>joking here>>>>>If I had a rock and if I could throw....some **** around

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Specializes in Emergency.

Good to know something I did today helped someone and was appreciated!!

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and when do people talk to grocery store cashiers the way they talk to nurses?

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Specializes in medical.

There are so many dumb, ignorant, vicious and crazy people out there... And we have to put out with them. That's what makes a lot of nurses leaving nursing field, I think. Who wants to deal with those morons? Definetely not hospital administration. Rather they will turn their backs and let you deal with crazy folks.:twocents:

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

Good job Trauma. You stand up to those rude and inconsiderate family members. I felt a sense of empowerment when I told a woman that I was not there to detox her mom from pain meds. And when a GSW's girlfriend thought I wasn't answering the call light soon enough because the patient was in pain and wanted more pain meds and she said "Oh, I was just about to come and get you" and I said "You didn't need to come and get me as I was with another patient".

I hate, with a passion, when people who for any reason, roll their eyes. I'm sick of this sense of entitlement that customer service has brought on.

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