I have a real moment of pause when I write this new thread as there will undoubtedly be somone who wants to accuse me of having burn-out or an unprofessional attitude. Let me first say, this is a vent and I love this site to allow such vents to be posted and discussed.
I have a real problem with patient's and their families who grab on to an attitude that the nurses are somehow keeping the patient's in the ER for hours due to laziness or..... something. Even when you constantly update your patients or explain that for example: There's a Trauma, or stroke, or MI or any other EMERGENCY taking (Lab/Radiology/EMD/RN/Tech/ect.) presidence at the time.......THEY COP AN ATTITUDE WITH YOU, ROLL THEIR EYES, STOMP THEIR FEET, ACCUSE LAZINESS, THREATEN TO CALL THE CEO...the list goes on.
Yesterday, I had such an episode with a family member when his MIL was brought in with a HR of 165, SOB and hx: of pacer, etc.. It was all fine and dandy when she had 4 sometimes 5 professionals in the room when this acuity was occuring, but 3.5 hours into her visit he is standing over me while I was charting on yet another Emergent OD...1000units insulin suicide attempt/central line insertion, intubated patient....rolling his eyes at me asking why his MIL is still in the ER. I kindly explain the system of waits in the ER and inform him that the ER doc is in another room and when I see him I'll have him come in to talk with him.
This a-hole rolls his eyes at me....stomps his feet, gets in my personal space and rants about how long it's taking.......I had had enough....I stood up, walked into his personal space and repeated word for word what I had just said to him moments ago, and further added...."Sir, now if you will kindly respect my other patients right to their privacy while I chart here at the nurse's station and return to your family member's room, I will beable to help you sooner" ....This woman was not only helped with the acuity , she was given numerous warm blankets, a lunch and repositioning on many occassions/ bed pan, etc......(No break or lunch for any of us on the team...12 hour shifts mind you)
I feel I show great restraint/respect with patient's and families who think they can just talk to the staff the way they do. Why do people think they can just treat staff this way and get away with it? I know the reasons.....because customer service...blah blah blah.....Even when you educate people the time frame tests take, they still get this...."Drive-thru" mentality......Ohhhh does it tick me off. Rarely do I ever confront their ignorance, but in the back of my mind, I am looking them right in the eyes and telling them to back off and let us do our job. ER is hard , demanding work...and I wouldn't want to work anywhere else as a nurse. (I don't need to work at all actually, I went back to school to become a nurse) People like this just kick ya in the shins and make me wonder sometimes, why I take the abuse.
At our hospital we have a tendency to add "Have a nice day" after you sort of put someone in their place. I guess it makes us feel like we've been polite. Now it has gotten to the point where saying, "He can have a nice day" means that pt needs to go or that the visitor needs to be escorted out. "Call security he needs to have a nice day."
and when do people talk to grocery store cashiers the way they talk to nurses?
Hahaha. Trust me, they do. A lot. My job before working as a CNA was at a grocery store, and we went through hell. That job made me lose faith in people for a long time. At least at the hospital I can try to tell myself "They're sick. Really. That's why they're acting this way."
I go into work tommorrow and after hearing all of this, I realize that I am not alone. I am glad that I actualy want to work as a nurse and not just go in to get a paycheck because I don't think I would have lasted as long as I have. To all that have had bad days, keep the faith and keep striving. It is worth it.
I totally know where you're coming from. People don't realize what nurses do - the majority of our population thinks that we follow around the doctor all day, follow what the doc tells us to do, and pass bedpans. Do the realize that we go 12+ hrs without eating, or that we have a bladder ready to explode because we haven't found time to get to bathroom because the GI bleed in room 5 is hypotensive, and there's a 1 yo in respiratory distress 5 minutes out in the field? Nope. And sadly, a good number of them don't even care because it means that they don't come first.
I've found that letting people know what to anticipate helps. For example, I'll say:
"So, the doctor just told me that you're going to be admitted - our charge nurse is calling to get a bed assigned, and I'll let you know your patient room number as soon as I find out. However, you may be down here for another 1-2 hours but I will to everything I can to expedite your room assignment".
If they ask "Why the wait?", I'll say something like:
"It gives the floor staff an opportunity to appropriately prepare for your arrival; and we want to make sure that you are going to get the best nursing care possible - and I appreciate your patience".
If they start fussing, I remind them that:
"Its a benefit to be staying in the ED for just a bit longer because we have doctors immediately available - and if you need any pain medication or if you start feeling worse, we can intervene right away down here in the ED since our docs are just a few feet away. As we speak, Dr. Smith is writing your medication orders so there won't be any delays in receiving your medications once you go up to a room. Here's an extra pillow, and I've also brought you a warm blanket. Should you need anything in the meantime, please let me know. I also ordered you some lunch because I know you wanted to have some food as soon as you were allowed."
I'm sure many of you guys say similar things, but so far this works well for me.
There should be a way to charge nursing care based on the amount of nursing time a patient consumes. Then, perhaps people would stop being so pushy and start caring about what we actually do since the'd be paying more money if they demand more from the nurse.
As insane as MS is, and regardless of how nutty some family members are...at least I don't ahve to explain what I'm doing all the time. My hat's off to you ER folks.
Personally, we have those family members that go "I'm a nurse....(17 years ago in OB, not ortho) so long ago, she didn't wear gloves. I had to explain why we weren't putting something under the knee....because it puts a unnatural bend in it. And then her ice bag burst open at 2AM, because she put it.....guess where? It's tough to say things and have them sink in. But, we do what we can. Keep doing what you do, we need you!
I hate when family members say "I'm a nurse...." Good for you, so am I. Is that some type of threat? Are you watching me just a little bit closer?
..."then you know how we have quite a balancing act to perform, what with prioritizing, scheduled meds and treatments, being ready for a code, etc. Thank YOU for your understanding! (LOL)!...is what I'd like to say. Yep.
People irritate me sometimes. I remember when I had just got off orientation after I graduated and I took care of an elderly lady whose daughter was a nurse. The patient was admitted for CHF and was suppose to go for a 2Decho and when transport came to take the patient to the test, the daughter laid into me at the front desk, yelling and carrying on..."Everytime my mom comes into the hospital they order all these tests that my mom doesn't need. She doesn't have CHF, I'm a nurse I should know. What are her clinical indicators? She doesn't have pedal edema."....Ok, yeah I get it, the docs order unnecessary tests, why are you yelling at me?
people irritate me sometimes. i remember when i had just got off orientation after i graduated and i took care of an elderly lady whose daughter was a nurse. the patient was admitted forchf and was suppose to go for a 2decho and when transport came to take the patient to the test, the daughter laid into me at the front desk, yelling and carrying on..."everytime my mom comes into the hospital they order all these tests that my mom doesn't need. she doesn't have chf, i'm a nurse i should know. what are her clinical indicators? she doesn't have pedal edema."....ok, yeah i get it, the docs order unnecessary tests, why are you yelling at me?
hellllllloooooo...your mother was admitted with a dx of chf.....do you know what chf means nancy know-it-all nurse....grrrrrrr. i hate idiot nurses who come in following their parents or loved one......
Based on the last post I would like to educate nurses about stomping on the caregivers of your parents while displaying the peacock feather dance. Just because you are a nurse, does not mean you know crap about certain aspects of specialty care.
I too want to slap the so-called knows everything nurse when they accompany their loved ones to the ER. They sit there across the cot telling me which arm is better for an IV, (obviously not putting in > 15 per day as I do), won't shut up when you are trying to assess, just really needs to leave the room actually.....She needs to shut up while I ask the PATIENT what is going on to bring her to the ER today....Instead I have nurses yappity, yappity all the time.
I have....on occassion.....stopped mid sentence....looked the
(nurse-daughter/son) in the eye long enough to know I have brain to brain contact......and then they realize they need to shut up....What happens to nurses when their parents come to the ER??????????? Do they not know aspects of the assessment are found out through patient interaction ONLY:banghead:, without she/he chirpy chirpy...I am a nurse...chirp chirp chirp:banghead:
Because they know that acting like a jerk could virtually never impair the treatment they or their family receive, it's not like a restaurant where they could spit in your food or a garage where they don't fix your car right. Plus they're bored. They also want to seem like their advocation for their family member is actually doing something to help them because they are totally out of control of the situation. Also they're making sure there isn't going to be anyway you will forget about them. Honestly have you ever forgotten to get the patient to xray, or have the orderly get them a blanket, if that patient or the family is aggressive and harrassing. I hate to defend them. My personal tactic is to kill them with false kindness, as long as it's somewhere between over the top and obviously not genuine you will get your anger across without giving them a legitimate complaint.
Rarely do I ever confront their ignorance, but in the back of my mind, I am looking them right in the eyes and telling them to back off and let us do our job. ER is hard , demanding work...and I wouldn't want to work anywhere else as a nurse. (I don't need to work at all actually, I went back to school to 
ThrowEdNurse, BSN, RN
298 Posts
At our hospital we have a tendency to add "Have a nice day" after you sort of put someone in their place. I guess it makes us feel like we've been polite. Now it has gotten to the point where saying, "He can have a nice day" means that pt needs to go or that the visitor needs to be escorted out. "Call security he needs to have a nice day."