Feeling sub-par...

KingsMommy · Feb 28, 2012

I know what u mean- I am about to graduate (in May) but I have felt that way from time to time

As dumb as this sounds I will tell you how I got over it...

Yes, a support system is great, but once I stopped studying with the others as they were and just spent time alone focusing on me I started doing better. I never tell my grades, just I did ok or I passed, etc. Eventually my classmates figured out that I wasn't into sharing grades and stopped asking. With regard to helping others, it is great if you have time or you feel like it helps you learn to teach someone else. However, it is important to remember you have to worry about yourself first. There are many times when I have stepped away from what the class needed or wanted to study alone or how I learned best. Worry about yourself for now if the support isnt there and eventually the balance will be there. For me, things got a lot better when we were in more intense clinicals, I am substantially better on the floor than taking a test and in my opinion that is important because that is what you are actually going into practice for. It's going to be ok-

1. Make sure you are passing

2. Then strive for the stellar grades

You can do it- what's your going through is normal

Carpe Diem!

Gabby

tsm007 · Feb 28, 2012

Great advice from the poster above me! I don't have anything spectacular to offer, but just remember in the end it doesn't matter whether they made straight As and you made straight Cs. You will both be RNs. I've seen some straight A nurses that I wouldn't want taking care of me because their attitude just sucks and I've seen other A students that will be wonderful nurses. The same goes with C students. Grades are not all that matters. In fact, I think I need to remind myself that as well tonight. Keep your chin up and just keep plugging along.

wannabmidwife · Feb 28, 2012

I know exactly how you feel... I'm an older student with lots more responsibilities than my classmates and they always whine and complain about getting in the upper 80's and 90's. After spending endless hours studying for my last exam, I just barely passed.

I always try to dodge those questions after the test as well. I don't care what they put, what matters is what I put and how I did. Nursing school is tough, REALLY tough but hopefully we'll get into our own groove and be able to just go with the flow.

Eagle2110, ASN, BSN, APRN · Mar 4, 2012

From the beginning, I told everyone not to ask me about my test grades. I dont mind discussing the test questions, but I do not make an annoucement to the whole class. I'm like this because people get in their little groups and discuss everyone's progress; but the people who truly care will try to give you pointers and offer to study with you. I have two friends who I dont mind talking about grades with and that's because we all want to see each other move forward and upward. At this point in your life, get rid of whatever and whoever isn't 100% for your success.

Oh, and as far as what to say to to them............nothing if you don't want to, people usually go away when ignored enough.

allnurses Guide · Mar 4, 2012

Rule #1 in nursing school - don't compare your progress to others. Nursing is like most things - everyone has different strengths. You can put me in the room with a dying patient and a ****** off or distraught family and I shine like gold. But put me in front of an exam and I look like a dolt. Not every strength you have is going to be represented in those tests. Stop comparing yourself and just get through it.

♑ Capricorn ♑ · Mar 4, 2012

I agree with the above replies.

Honestly, you do not need to share anything with them that you don't feel comfortable sharing with them. Its none of their business. If they ask about this or that, a simple "I passed or I'm not sure how I did", will do. There is no need to be rude about it, but you don't have to offer up every single piece of detail that is going on with you.

As for you helping other students and them not helping you back, well, **** them. Give it back to them. Say, "Hey! I dunno, look it up". Don't be a doormat and don't let them take advantage of you if you think that is what they are doing. If they can't respect you or appreciate what little help you do give them, are they really friends?

You are a good student, nontheless. You are in nursing school. You've made it this far and you're still doing well. Be happy over what you've accomplished, and stop focusing on grades and focus on learning. A grade is a grade. In my opinion, grades do not define you as a whole as a nurse or your ability. Not to say, that one shouldn't try to strive for the best possible grades one can. But, I do think we should do our best in whatever is asked of us or whatever we do. You hang in there. :)

QuarterLife88, MSN, RN, NP · Mar 4, 2012

I go to a CC for my nursing program, and at 24, I'm one of the youngest, ergo, I'm not really friends with the other students too much but we're friendly, which is kind of nice, because your post reminded me of first semester when I DID try to make friends with people and get in on the know with everyone's grades. Well like you I was also used to being a straight A student from the pre-reqs, but in Foundations I got straight B's, even a C or two at the end when I was just exhausted and over it, and I was just sick and tired of listening to people whine about only getting a 93%, and acting like nursing school was a breeze and that my anxiety was something to belittle and that I'm overreacting. UGH. So now, in second semester, I have distanced myself from my classmates, I do not listen to them when they discuss questions after tests (I bring my headphones and listen to music in the hallway on my phone), and I don't share or ask other people their grades. I go to class, listen to the lecture, and leave. Go to clinical, do what I'm supposed to do, and leave.

I had to revamp my approach for second semester because I could not take a repeat of first semester. Damn it, I just work better alone with less of a "community feel", and I'm getting (so far - pray for me, med-surg starts tomorrow!) better grades now because of it, and it's one less thing to stress about. I tried the whole, "your fellow students will be like your family," bit, but, I'm over it. I work alone.

athrun340 · Mar 4, 2012

OP i'm just wondering.. do you practice taking nclex questions? I find that practicing taking nclex questions really helped me improved my test taking skills. If you have the money, try to get the success series books (fundamentals success, med surg success, ob success etc etc). These books are life saver. Also try to get an nclex review book like saunders. I used saunders not to practice questions but to read the info for each diseases. The info is really succinct and straight to the point

Make sure to read the rationales when you practice taking nclex questions. Also dont worry too much about your grade when you do these practice questions.. just concentrate on the rationales.

good luck!

Ash81386 · Mar 5, 2012

I actually practiced NCLEX questions for the first test (and I read the book) and I made an 82, which ended up being higher than some of my friends that normally make straight A's... But for this past test, I'm almost sure I know what happened. I didn't think a certain portion would be big on the test, and didn't look over it-- It ended up being pretty heavy on the test. Then there was a powerpoint that we never got to in class and I just never looked at it... I'm pretty sure thats what messed me up.

Anyway... A handful of these ppl that I'm griping about aren't just nursing school ppl, but Actual friends that I see/ talk /socialize with outside of school as well. So even if I tell them one day at school that I'm not sure what I made on a test, they're still going to ask until they know. I love being friends with them, I'm just sick of sharing my grades. Just not sure how to go about it nicely. :-\ "My grades are lame compared to yours, so please quit asking & making me feel stupid!" Just doesn't sound very good, but thats what I feel like.

And as far as studying with them goes... It's pretty impossible. In fact, I sat in a study room at school the other day & one of them came in and talked and talked and talked and BEGGED me to go eat with her. I finally just began to ignore her and she eventually took the hint.

Anyway, next test is endocrine... Will definitely be doing some Nclex questions this time! :)

Ash81386 · Mar 5, 2012

In case anyone was actually wondering.. I basically had my breaking point today with these "friends"

They are always on me; "Do we have a quiz? do we have a test? whats due? Wanna get together & do this online quiz?" I feel like I carry everyone else & do crappy, while they rely on me and do awesome. Today I was asking questions about a certain diagnosis for my formal concept map, and two of them looked at me and said "Don't you have a care plan book??" I brushed it off. Not even 2 minutes later another friend was "stressing" over her sim lab pre-work... Well I've already been to sim lab, but I never said a word about it, because why should I help them if they won't help me?? Another girl gets out her pre work and sets it on the table, for the others to copy!!!!!

I stared for a minute, kind of shocked... Then I got up, gathered my things, and left right then.

The simlab packets are only for a completion grade, but still! I'm just not sure about how I feel about this. It's not right! I may just be finding another place to have lunch on Wednesday!

llg, PhD, RN · Mar 5, 2012

Just not sure how to go about it nicely. :-\ "My grades are lame compared to yours, so please quit asking & making me feel stupid!" Just doesn't sound very good, but thats what I feel like.

I think that is a fine way to say it. Sometimes, straightforward and honest is the way to go. If they are good people, they will care that their questions/comments are hurting you and will make an effort to minimize that type of conversation in front of you. If they don't care about your feelings ... then you shouldn't be hanging around with them.

As for helping people who don't help you in return ... You need to think it through philosophically. Does your help come with strings attached? Do you only want to help people who "pay you back?" If you expect to be paid back for your assistance, then you need to be open and honest about that up front. When someone asks for help, you might need to remind them of their refusal to help you in the past ... or tell them that you expect similar help FROM them in the future. If they fail to follow through, don't help them again.

Other people would choose the opposite philosophy. They would offer their help freely, with no expectation of being paid back.

What are your beliefs about giving and helping others? That is for you to choose based on your values and conscience.

Edit: I didn't see your most recent post when I wrote this. About giving people your homework for them to copy -- I wouldn't do that. Frankly, I think you need better friends.