Feeling really down in the dumps and friend-less in nursing school...advice needed

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Hi. I am 1 semester away from being done with nursing school.

I am a really high achiever and get fantastic grades in both the lecture and clinical portions of my program.

At the beginning of the program, I felt like I met really good people that were wonderful friends. But as time went on, I feel like that is not the case at all. As the semesters went on, we got divided up into different clinical groups and people started to get mad at me for doing very well on exams and for ATI tests. They used to approach me after tests demanding to know what grade I got, and when I told them they got angry. This semester I have decided not to tell anyone and to just say "I did good" to prevent this hostility.

For example, 1 girl who I felt very close with last year hasn't spoken to me at all after I received points for passing a test and she did not. These people seem to behave very childishly and I feel like I am back in high school.

I have one really good friend (I think) but he is in another clinical group this time around and I feel as though it kind of distances us, which is very unfortunate.

I just feel extremely depressed about the entire situation and just decided to come on this wonderful forum to see some comments as to what others have done in situations like this.

I feel like such a loner =[

Specializes in Oncology/hematology.

I'm so sorry you are being treated this way. I was that woman in my prereqs and hated how people treated me because of my grades.

Now that I'm in nursing school, and my grades aren't the best (Bs), I was razzing some of my fellow students who have great grades. I was just having fun with them, but I realize that it could be taken the wrong way. So, I completely stopped. In truth, I was very proud of them (everyone in my clinical group has an A but me) and was trying to tell them how stupid they made me feel through joking, but I would never in a million years want anyone to feel bad or guilty for being brilliant, so thanks for opening my eyes up to it.

You are doing a great job and need to just focus on that. I agree with everyone that nursing school is just an extension of high school. Unfortunately, I think once we go to work, it'll still be there, and I'm going to have to work really hard to avoid those people.

Don't let it get to you. I'm finishing up pre-reqs and applying to my school's nursing program next semester. I'm doing extremely well in all my classes. I am not one at school to usually throw my grades around, when people ask how I did on an exam, I usually just say "I did good, how about you?".

In my english class, however, I am starting to get a lot of "playful" snobby comments but I'm trying not to let it bother me because the semester is almost over. I love english in general, I love writing, so this class has been one that I have exceled in. And in this class, once we write an essay, we must let others read our essays in class and do in-class peer reviews. My essays always get nit-picked apart by students, because I write "long" essays, or I pick such "difficult" topics, and then always manage to get an A in the class while they get D's or F's. I've tried to be nice and even offer to tutor them in english and help them revise their essays, but they've never taken me up on the offer. They just continue to pick on me in class, but justify it by saying they're joking. I'm sure they are joking, but it does get old to hear it every. single. class. Before class, I'll get told things like "little miss perfect, what did you write today?" or "oh, aren't we a little perfectionist, I'm just SURE we've earned another "A" haven't we?"

Anyways, my point is, I am PROUD of my grades. I try to minimize any drama by not telling anyone my grades, but even in my english class where it's kind of unavoidable, I do not let it bother me. I work hard for my grades, I work hard on my papers, and no one is going to make me feel bad for working hard at success and achieving it. Same with you, be proud of yourself, and do not let those who are jealous or bitter make you feel bad for earning grades you have worked hard for.

wow, and here I am thinking I was the only person going through this, feeling alone and as if I'm high school. Yes, in the nursing program, its all a competition, instead of uplifting your fellow class mate. There are plenty of females in my program who smile in your face, and then the next day talk about you. Fortunately for me, words don't phase me. You have one more semester, so please don't worry what these immature students in your class have to say or feel. You're soon to graduating and they are soon to repeating the class. Not to be mean, but you'll get that last laugh at the end :).

Specializes in L&D.

heh. I sort of am in the same boat. I used to tell people my grades when they asked, but then they'd frown when I told them. It made me feel weird. I have a couple of acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I keep nursing school at nursing school, and I stick to my friends and family outside of it. I don't really know how to make friends, though. I'm not very social (not by choice...I just don't know how to be social). I get good grades and stuff, though. I'm sure your friends still like you! Why don't you invite them out with you somewhere for fun? (:

Specializes in Med/Surg.
heh. I sort of am in the same boat. I used to tell people my grades when they asked, but then they'd frown when I told them. It made me feel weird. I have a couple of acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I keep nursing school at nursing school, and I stick to my friends and family outside of it. I don't really know how to make friends, though. I'm not very social (not by choice...I just don't know how to be social). I get good grades and stuff, though. I'm sure your friends still like you! Why don't you invite them out with you somewhere for fun? (:

I feel the exact same way! I was never any good at making friends when I was a kid, and I don't know how to do it properly as an adult!

In response to the original post, I was feeling the exact same way and when I read your post, I felt better knowing I'm not the only one. When I started nursing school in January, there were 4 other girls in my age group and one guy. I thought we'd become friends and we were in all the same clinical groups and everything. And then, during our third semester, I noticed all the girls got really "clique-y" (waiting until I pulled up to the clinical site to start walking into the hospital together, sitting next to each other during class, talking on facebook, studying, texting) and I was like, "I'd like to do those things, too!" So, I would come home from class everyday feeling a little down. Being home with my love and my puppy cheered me up and made me realize, "I'm awesome and a great friend and they missed out!"

I still get a little down once in a while, but if I had my own group of friends it probably wouldn't be a big deal. I just haven't worked anywhere long enough to make friends at work, and we moved to where we are living now as adults, so don't have any friends we grew up with down here. But we have been making some couple friends that we can hang out with once in awhile, so that's better anyway!

Nursing school can be a huge hit to your self-esteem. You can be smart, and still sometimes not do as well as you want. My guess is that these people are full of pride on the outside but inside are very weak and insecure-you know-narcissists, it is an epidemic in the field of healthcare and in our great country in my honest opinion.

If people do not like you because of your grades, it is not about YOU, it is about them. All you can do is be yourself! I would worry about how my patients and instructors feel and leave the rest alone.

Anyone who is worth being around and being friends with will be happy for you when you do well, the others are too immature and self-serving to even bother with. I am surprised that so may selfish people want to be nurses, it is sad for the patients and I hope none of them are ever taking care of me!! My friends in my program do better than me most of the time, and I am happy for them!!

Specializes in L&D.
I feel the exact same way! I was never any good at making friends when I was a kid, and I don't know how to do it properly as an adult!

In response to the original post, I was feeling the exact same way and when I read your post, I felt better knowing I'm not the only one. When I started nursing school in January, there were 4 other girls in my age group and one guy. I thought we'd become friends and we were in all the same clinical groups and everything. And then, during our third semester, I noticed all the girls got really "clique-y" (waiting until I pulled up to the clinical site to start walking into the hospital together, sitting next to each other during class, talking on facebook, studying, texting) and I was like, "I'd like to do those things, too!" So, I would come home from class everyday feeling a little down. Being home with my love and my puppy cheered me up and made me realize, "I'm awesome and a great friend and they missed out!"

I still get a little down once in a while, but if I had my own group of friends it probably wouldn't be a big deal. I just haven't worked anywhere long enough to make friends at work, and we moved to where we are living now as adults, so don't have any friends we grew up with down here. But we have been making some couple friends that we can hang out with once in awhile, so that's better anyway!

I moved to a different state as an adult, too, so I do not have my high school/childhood friends here, either. It's hard sometimes, because everybody that lives here has their high school/childhood friends! Or cousins. Or siblings. My husband and I have met some couples that are nice. We just don't get out a whole lot! :p

I guess the upside to not having a giant social circle is having the time to study rather than socialize. ;)

I often feel alone in nursing school also, and what keeps me focused is thinking, I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to become a nurse. Now that doesn't mean that I wouldn't welcome making a friend, but I try to put it on the back burner so all my focus is on school.

I do not consider myself a friend to anyone in school however I am friendly to everyone.

I look at nursing school as my job so none of them are on my facebook page.

They assume I make fantastic grades because I know a lot of things, but usually I'm in the B range. (Not sure if I've ever made an A on a nursing test?) I always laugh and make up numbers when they ask me about my grades. Some people are just natural nurses, these things come easy to them. What is it? Nursing is 90% calling?

In any case this does make me sad because I go out of my way to be a friend to the friendless. For example we have a girl who immigrated and needs to ask things that the rest of us don't due to cultural and language barriers. You can actually hear people sigh in class the second she raises her hand. I always stop her, give her a hug, and ask her how she is.

Hang in there OP, soon enough you'll feel valued for understanding.

You should be PROUD of your accomplishments. They are just jealous and that is a very ugly attribute for them. I'll pray for you!

Hi. I am 1 semester away from being done with nursing school. I am a really high achiever and get fantastic grades in both the lecture and clinical portions of my program. At the beginning of the program, I felt like I met really good people that were wonderful friends. But as time went on, I feel like that is not the case at all. As the semesters went on, we got divided up into different clinical groups and people started to get mad at me for doing very well on exams and for ATI tests. They used to approach me after tests demanding to know what grade I got, and when I told them they got angry. This semester I have decided not to tell anyone and to just say "I did good" to prevent this hostility. For example, 1 girl who I felt very close with last year hasn't spoken to me at all after I received points for passing a test and she did not. These people seem to behave very childishly and I feel like I am back in high school. I have one really good friend (I think) but he is in another clinical group this time around and I feel as though it kind of distances us, which is very unfortunate. I just feel extremely depressed about the entire situation and just decided to come on this wonderful forum to see some comments as to what others have done in situations like this. I feel like such a loner =[

I don't really believe that people stop talking to you just because your grades are good. I think it's more to the story than that. This is not calling you a bad person. I'm just saying there are two sides to each story. But I just can't allow myself to believe everyone in the class is jealous of you and nobody talks to you because of that.

Theres a girl in my class that nobody really talks to, but she's really arrogant about her grades. Or maybe she's not arrogant. Maybe she's proud. But to the outside, it seems arrogant. I'm not really passionate about the situation or her friendship to say, "I'm not jealous of you. But when you roll your eyes and make smug marks about your grades in comparison to others, it makes people not like you". But I'm sure she thinks people "hate" her and are "jealous". I have a loving husband, a roof over my head, all that I need and more.. how could I be jealous because she got a 95 and I got 80. It'll take more than that. The grades I get in nursing school- yes.. I wish I got all A's. But so long as the C's and B's I get add up to me getting a nursing license- I can't complain. I can't win every test battle. I try my best. It is what it is. Honestly. Not everyone is jealous.

Are there jealous people? Of course. But I question a room full of jealous people (and I admit, you didn't say everyone was jealous or acting weird.. just a few)

Maybe its not your grades. Maybe it's something else. Reasons you could try to figure out. But you probably have a med surg test coming up. Worry about that instead.

On another note. Lets say these people are jealous and "users"- why would you want to be friends with them anyway? You've seen their true colors, count your blessings their intentions aren't disguised. Ignore the texts. Remain cordial. Get your license. Move on with with your life. But I just can't understand being down about people who you think are jealous and users. If someone shows you their true colors, believe them. Move on. Problem solved.

I had a similar experience in Nursing school. I had a core group of people I was friends with the first semester, but thanks to the administration deciding to break us up, I got placed into different clinicals. As time went on, the core was down to four of us, as we went all 3 semesters, so we moved ahead of the others who stayed out summers. One semester I was in clinical with 8 of the most immature students I had ever encountered. I was miserable the entire semester. But all things come to an end, and you have only one semester to go. Finish, don't worry about your classmates, as they will not matter much after you are done and start your new career.

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