Feeling like I'm a lousy nurse (rant)

allnurses Guide · Jul 3, 2005

My first week of nursing on the unit - and I feel like I suck at it. I was an A student in nursing school but I feel totally inadequate on the floor. I feel clumsy and slow, I get all nervous and act stupid around my preceptor - it's like I'm back in nursing school. I have the worse time remembering the names/room numbers/faces of my patients. I'm timid and clueless when I should be assertive and thoughtful. My patients like me - but I'm afraid my preceptor (the charge nurse) thinks I am a bumbling idiot who can barely remember my own name. NOT GOOD. She snickers a lot when my back is turned and I know she is laughing at me. I make lots of mistakes when I am charting and have to line through them. I am a stickler for details but it tends to slow me down because I get stuck on getting everything perfect plus I just tend to process things more slowly than other people. I was warned about this in nursing school by instructors - one teacher told me "you have terrible time management skills" and another told me that I was "meticulous" and I should prepare myself well before clinicals by studying procedures the nite before "so you won't have that thought process going on" during clinical. I try to be as organized and manage my time as well as I can but no matter what I do everyone seems to find my lack of speed a fatal flaw in me. And when I try to rush I find I just make a bunch of mistakes and make things even worse. I'm wondering if maybe I wasn't cut out for nursing. Of course my family is counting on me to go to work and make money so that just adds to the pressure.
Anyone feel this discouraged after their first week of nursing orientation?!

There is always a big transition your first year in nursing. Some words of advice though: 1. Don't double chart; chart accurately, concisely and as needed. 2. Check, recheck and then recheck your meds/MAR ( this will be the easiest place to make a mistake) 3. Talk with some of former classmates. I bet they are going through the same thing. 4. Take one shift at a time, if there is something you don't understand ask questions. 5. There is a book called "Your 1st year as a nurse" it talks about pretty much everything you're going through. I would recommend taking a looking at it.

Good Luck!

christvs, DNP, RN, NP · Jul 3, 2005

My first week of nursing on the unit - and I feel like I suck at it. I was an A student in nursing school but I feel totally inadequate on the floor. I feel clumsy and slow, I get all nervous and act stupid around my preceptor - it's like I'm back in nursing school. I have the worse time remembering the names/room numbers/faces of my patients. I'm timid and clueless when I should be assertive and thoughtful. My patients like me - but I'm afraid my preceptor (the charge nurse) thinks I am a bumbling idiot who can barely remember my own name. NOT GOOD. She snickers a lot when my back is turned and I know she is laughing at me. I make lots of mistakes when I am charting and have to line through them. I am a stickler for details but it tends to slow me down because I get stuck on getting everything perfect plus I just tend to process things more slowly than other people. I was warned about this in nursing school by instructors - one teacher told me "you have terrible time management skills" and another told me that I was "meticulous" and I should prepare myself well before clinicals by studying procedures the nite before "so you won't have that thought process going on" during clinical. I try to be as organized and manage my time as well as I can but no matter what I do everyone seems to find my lack of speed a fatal flaw in me. And when I try to rush I find I just make a bunch of mistakes and make things even worse. I'm wondering if maybe I wasn't cut out for nursing. Of course my family is counting on me to go to work and make money so that just adds to the pressure.
Anyone feel this discouraged after their first week of nursing orientation?!

Seren,I am the exact same way as you!!! I just graduated from my BSN program last month. I am also extremely conscientious and meticulous and think things through before doing anything and check and recheck everything. I think you just need to be more patient with yourself. Try not to worry about how the other nurses around you are going faster than you. Just focus on yourself and getting more opportunities to do skills and know that in time you will develop speed just like everyone else.

I also think your preceptor and everyone else you work with should be really happy to have someone like you working with them. The reason is this-you are not a robot, and actually think about what you are doing and think about the bigger picture. Anyone can just mechanically do things, but you are obviously intelligent and using your brain, and for that your co-workers should realize how lucky they are to have you there. Thinking=safe nurse=safe patients! :)

-Christine

mstigerlily · Jul 3, 2005

I felt like that too. It takes awhile to get out of student mode and into independent RN mode. It also takes awhile to get time management down. I was forever forgetting things, going out to get them, coming back in, etc. I was always wondering how these other damn nurses had time to cruise the internet, answer e-mail and sit around and yack when I was so freaking busy. (actually I STILL wonder that because I rarely have time to do those things in a 12 hr shift) It also takes time to remember everyone's faces, remember how the rooms are set out in the unit, remember all the codes for the doors, extensions for the phones and room assignments you have that night. Heck, even to remember exactly where you parked when you came on shift is sometimes a challenge. You are not alone.

I'm sorry someone is snickering at you, that's not right.

Melissa

My first week of nursing on the unit - and I feel like I suck at it. I was an A student in nursing school but I feel totally inadequate on the floor. I feel clumsy and slow, I get all nervous and act stupid around my preceptor - it's like I'm back in nursing school. I have the worse time remembering the names/room numbers/faces of my patients. I'm timid and clueless when I should be assertive and thoughtful. My patients like me - but I'm afraid my preceptor (the charge nurse) thinks I am a bumbling idiot who can barely remember my own name. NOT GOOD. She snickers a lot when my back is turned and I know she is laughing at me. I make lots of mistakes when I am charting and have to line through them. I am a stickler for details but it tends to slow me down because I get stuck on getting everything perfect plus I just tend to process things more slowly than other people. I was warned about this in nursing school by instructors - one teacher told me "you have terrible time management skills" and another told me that I was "meticulous" and I should prepare myself well before clinicals by studying procedures the nite before "so you won't have that thought process going on" during clinical. I try to be as organized and manage my time as well as I can but no matter what I do everyone seems to find my lack of speed a fatal flaw in me. And when I try to rush I find I just make a bunch of mistakes and make things even worse. I'm wondering if maybe I wasn't cut out for nursing. Of course my family is counting on me to go to work and make money so that just adds to the pressure.
Anyone feel this discouraged after their first week of nursing orientation?!

TypicalFish · Jul 3, 2005

Seren, I am new, too. Give yourself time-it is just your first week! You will get there-just network with other students and nurse who are supportive. Also-try and seek out a mentor-someone other than this preceptor togive you support. The book is "Your First Year As A Nurse" by Donna Cardillo. It is very good and helpful, I especially like it because it has suugestions, quotes and stories from practicing nurses about each topic discussed-it helps you to feel not so alone.....Good Luck-I'm rooting for you!

underwatergirl · Jul 3, 2005

Obvious you are intelligent...I remember my first year...oh that was horrible...mainly because I thought a nursing home was my best route...big no no no...I don't think any new grad should be in a LTC...hospitals do a much better time of bringing you out, and having good mentors, less demand on your license too..in a nursing home alot can go wrong with the pressure...I personally say if your supervisor is snickering...dont stick around there, go somewhere your skills will be noticed and worked to bring more out.

These are my recommendations....

1. Dont take on too much at once...if your in a hospital and you are shadowing for 8 patients take on 4...same why for the nursing home.

2. Being able to remember will come...be patient...it gets much easier.

3. You MUST prioritize...this is critical to a good nurse...knowing what is on the table...choose what must be dealt with at that time and what can wait till more urgent things are handled.

4. You MUST organize yourself...I recommend a clip board...if you get a patient assignment sheet...next to the name organize it..what I mean is...write down what time meds are needed...cross off after you handle it...write down what assessements are top priority and again cross off when done...only document on your report sheet what assessments are abnormal...because if everything else is normal...you know it cause your not writing it down, hence time saving.

5. You MUST learn to multi-task what I mean is that when your doing the vs...do your visual checks also at that time....your PERLA, your skin assessment...etc. This one becareful with, it has room for errors to be made.

6. Immediately after your assessments...do your documentation on scrap paper or get a note book (remember to shred after shift)...then you can review it, have a mentor review it then put it in the chart when time allows.

7. Keep resources handy...if you had a great medical book in school bring it to work and have it readily available. Look things up...I say everything.

8. Set a goal each day...and focus on it in a sense perfecting it...accurate complete, nice documentation...or feeling more confident or more experience with head to toe assessment or system assessment.

To often nurses get a one track mind...never leave it to look at a big picture of all patients. Being meticulous is a good thing, I am the same way...but I like you need to be careful not to go over board and neglecting other things.

Give yourself time, comfort and confidence only comes with time...you will get there...I do however recommending finding a new job...one where your mentor is not eating his/her young and being ridiculous with expectations and reactions.

Good luck hun

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 3, 2005

Much of what you feel is entirely normal. It takes a long time for those feelings of fear and inadequacy to be replaced with expertise and confidence. Give yourself a break and be very gentle with how you talk to yourself.

First of all. Your precepter does not think you're a bumbling idiot who can't remember her own name. That's just your low self-confidence talking. If you truly feel you're being laughed at, either let it go and gather up the courage to ask her what it is she's laughing at, tell her how it makes you feel. A preceptor worth anything should not behaving this unprofressionally.

Time management, etc will come. I'd like to be meticulous and anal about things, but we have to learn what to let go of. This is the type of stuff you should be learning from your preceptor and other.

Again, it's going to take some time. We all have our doubts about wether we're cut out for nursing or not and whether we made a mistake. I felt like that a lot my first year...seemed everyone but me had their act together. Now I'm the role model and the preceptor to new grads and students....go figure.

MandyInMS · Jul 3, 2005

Awwwwwww (((big hugzzzzzzz))) everyone feels 'clueless' at first hun..just takes time Take your time, and don't let them overwhelm you..you shouldn't be responsible for more that 1-2 stable pts at first..be sure to get your full orientation,take things slow, and give yourself time to adjust.

p.s.- I still feel clueless some days..lol

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 3, 2005

Sounds like a typical experience for any new nurse to me. I like the suggestions above. I would take them to heart. Good luck to you.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jul 3, 2005

I, too, am an appallingly bad nurse, beginning my second week of orientation on the floor. I start my first night shift in three hours. I'm usually a night-owl, but I suppose tonight I'll crash and burn by midnight. I have moderate-severe anxiety before every shift, can't seem to remember things I knew before nursing school, and am totally amazed that I haven't killed anybody, so far.

One thing that has seemed to help a little, though, is taking a moment somewhere during the shift and reminding myself: "Hey, this is FUN!" And it is. Never mind all the Florence Nightengale crap (why is everyone so hung up on the mom from the Brady Bunch, anyway??). I'm getting to do stuff we weren't allowed to do in school, unless an instructor was breathing down our neck. I'm getting paid just as though I knew what I was doing. And I don't have to spend hours writing care plans!!! Woo-hoo!

grinnurse, RN · Jul 4, 2005

Seren21 I feel the same. I have been on my unit for 3 weeks so far and it does get frustrating at times. I am hard on myself too and I think it comes alot from the "perfect hospital" situations that we learned in NS. You are not going to find that too often. I feel like I am moving at turtle pace compared to the others, but, then I think, they have had years to perfect how they do things and some of the NS stuff just goes out the window, not on purpose, but we don't have all the equip, personell, etc to be able to do that most of the time. I think NS should teach more realistically what it's really like after graduation.

I really think that it would be a great idea if NS would tape an "honest" day on a floor and show it at orientation so people will see what it is really like. Anyway, thank goodness we have Allnurses forums to rant and rave about work. We are all in this boat together and we have to keep telling ourselves that "this too shall pass" and eventually we will be those experienced nurses and help the next new graduate make it through with out going insane the first year. :uhoh21:

Just keep on keepin on and and I would much rather have someone that takes their time vs someone who speeds through everything and has the greater chance of making serious errors or even killing a pt.!!

grinnurse, RN · Jul 4, 2005

I, too, am an appallingly bad nurse, beginning my second week of orientation on the floor. I start my first night shift in three hours. I'm usually a night-owl, but I suppose tonight I'll crash and burn by midnight. I have moderate-severe anxiety before every shift, can't seem to remember things I knew before nursing school, and am totally amazed that I haven't killed anybody, so far.
We are not bad nurses, just new nurses with tons more to learn .
One thing that has seemed to help a little, though, is taking a moment somewhere during the shift and reminding myself: "Hey, this is FUN!" And it is. Never mind all the Florence Nightengale crap (why is everyone so hung up on the mom from the Brady Bunch, anyway??). I'm getting to do stuff we weren't allowed to do in school, unless an instructor was breathing down our neck. I'm getting paid just as though I knew what I was doing. And I don't have to spend hours writing care plans!!! Woo-hoo!

I agree-WooHoo!! Yeah-I had to do an NG tube once in school on a pt and remembered how bad I was trembling and totally screwed up in front of her. I got to do one again today with another nurse and wow, what a difference it made.

Your gonna do fine, just be a "sponge" and soak it all up.