Feeling like I'm a lousy nurse (rant)

[Serenyd]

My first week of nursing on the unit - and I feel like I suck at it. I was an A student in nursing school but I feel totally inadequate on the floor. I feel clumsy and slow, I get all nervous and act stupid around my preceptor - it's like I'm back in nursing school. I have the worse time remembering the names/room numbers/faces of my patients. I'm timid and clueless when I should be assertive and thoughtful. My patients like me - but I'm afraid my preceptor (the charge nurse) thinks I am a bumbling idiot who can barely remember my own name. NOT GOOD. She snickers a lot when my back is turned and I know she is laughing at me. I make lots of mistakes when I am charting and have to line through them. I am a stickler for details but it tends to slow me down because I get stuck on getting everything perfect plus I just tend to process things more slowly than other people. I was warned about this in nursing school by instructors - one teacher told me "you have terrible time management skills" and another told me that I was "meticulous" and I should prepare myself well before clinicals by studying procedures the nite before "so you won't have that thought process going on" during clinical. I try to be as organized and manage my time as well as I can but no matter what I do everyone seems to find my lack of speed a fatal flaw in me. And when I try to rush I find I just make a bunch of mistakes and make things even worse. I'm wondering if maybe I wasn't cut out for nursing. Of course my family is counting on me to go to work and make money so that just adds to the pressure.

Anyone feel this discouraged after their first week of nursing orientation?!

[rosemadder]

These postings all bring back such memories from just two short years ago. Believe me in six months you will look back and be simply amazed at what you have learned! It is an awesome responsibility when you get your license and realize that you are going to actually be responsible for these patient's lives.

Be an advocate for yourself and if you are not getting the orientation you need talk to your supervisor. I kept getting different preceptors which proved to be a problem (each one not knowing what I had already learned)...I talked with my supervisor, picked the one who helped the most and worked her schedule. If you have problems getting along with one (a personality conflict) sometimes it's better to find another one you can benefit more from. This is your orientation! Advocate for a good one!

Also, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Most new nurses feel the same way you do right now. The ones who aren't scared (or who seem to have it all together) are the ones who end up making huge mistakes and sometimes costing patient's their lives (we had one in nursing school who thought they knew everything and would never ask for help--within 8 weeks after orientation she gave a patient who had a blood sugar of 26 an insulin bolus and killed him...she no longer is practicing as a nurse). You are wise to be cautious and it's okay to be slow...also, I had the biggest problem remembering all the patient's names--IT WILL COME!!!

When I began orientating until about 3 months later...every day on the way to work I had to stop at McDonalds due to diarrhea (I was so nervous and sick over it)...finally one morning I didn't have to stop...and then another and another and finally I was looking back and thinking "HEY, I CAN DO THIS!!". You will get there also! I've always said there was nothing harder than nursing school until I took boards, then there was nothing harder than boards until I became a nurse. IT IS A HUGE ENDEAVOR...but oh so worthwhile! HANG IN THERE!

[cnamasta]

Just to make you feel better, I am the same way. I have been working as a CNA for 4months now, and I was the same way. Although some people may think well CNA's don't do as much as LPN's or any other nurse, but infact we do just as much. But back to the point, I messed up on the same things you did. And believe me in do time you will get better. It took me a good month to get the hang of things. To get all the residents names and there needs down, but I did it and I'm still learning. But I feel your pain, and I felt as if I wasn't cut out to do this. Just keep a strong head, and take one day at a time.

Good luck

[futureRNMG]

These postings all bring back such memories from just two short years ago. Believe me in six months you will look back and be simply amazed at what you have learned! It is an awesome responsibility when you get your license and realize that you are going to actually be responsible for these patient's lives.

Be an advocate for yourself and if you are not getting the orientation you need talk to your supervisor. I kept getting different preceptors which proved to be a problem (each one not knowing what I had already learned)...I talked with my supervisor, picked the one who helped the most and worked her schedule. If you have problems getting along with one (a personality conflict) sometimes it's better to find another one you can benefit more from. This is your orientation! Advocate for a good one!

Also, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Most new nurses feel the same way you do right now. The ones who aren't scared (or who seem to have it all together) are the ones who end up making huge mistakes and sometimes costing patient's their lives (we had one in nursing school who thought they knew everything and would never ask for help--within 8 weeks after orientation she gave a patient who had a blood sugar of 26 an insulin bolus and killed him...she no longer is practicing as a nurse). You are wise to be cautious and it's okay to be slow...also, I had the biggest problem remembering all the patient's names--IT WILL COME!!!

When I began orientating until about 3 months later...every day on the way to work I had to stop at McDonalds due to diarrhea (I was so nervous and sick over it)...finally one morning I didn't have to stop...and then another and another and finally I was looking back and thinking "HEY, I CAN DO THIS!!". You will get there also! I've always said there was nothing harder than nursing school until I took boards, then there was nothing harder than boards until I became a nurse. IT IS A HUGE ENDEAVOR...but oh so worthwhile! HANG IN THERE!

That explains exactly how I feel now! I am on my third day on the unit and every time I have to do something new I get sick to my stomach. I admitted a patient today and did all of the admission questions and assessment and was sweating the whole time. I have wonderful preceptor and work with nurses who are always ready to help, but I still feel like a total idiot. I sometimes think " How did I even pass nursing school?" I am glad to see that there are other people who feel the same way I do.

[porterwoman]

Whoa, wait, did I write this thread?!?

Yep, yep, yep, I'm right there with you, OP.

But maybe, just maybe, your preceptor isn't laughing at you, but is just laughing to remember when she too was feeling like a bumbling mess right out of school? Maybe, maybe, you could laugh with her a little, or at least ask laughingly, Are you laughing at me or with me? I think we will look back on this rotten year and laugh, one day, so I'm trying to sometimes pretend like I'm able to do that now, even though I usually feel like crying after my shifts and sometimes do. Hang in there. There is most definitely a difference between a lousy nurse and a new nurse.

Rebecca, the greener than grass porterwoman

[medsurgcutie]

Obvious you are intelligent...I remember my first year...oh that was horrible...mainly because I thought a nursing home was my best route...big no no no...I don't think any new grad should be in a LTC...hospitals do a much better time of bringing you out, and having good mentors, less demand on your license too..in a nursing home alot can go wrong with the pressure...I personally say if your supervisor is snickering...dont stick around there, go somewhere your skills will be noticed and worked to bring more out.

These are my recommendations....

1. Dont take on too much at once...if your in a hospital and you are shadowing for 8 patients take on 4...same why for the nursing home.

2. Being able to remember will come...be patient...it gets much easier.

3. You MUST prioritize...this is critical to a good nurse...knowing what is on the table...choose what must be dealt with at that time and what can wait till more urgent things are handled.

4. You MUST organize yourself...I recommend a clip board...if you get a patient assignment sheet...next to the name organize it..what I mean is...write down what time meds are needed...cross off after you handle it...write down what assessements are top priority and again cross off when done...only document on your report sheet what assessments are abnormal...because if everything else is normal...you know it cause your not writing it down, hence time saving.

5. You MUST learn to multi-task what I mean is that when your doing the vs...do your visual checks also at that time....your PERLA, your skin assessment...etc. This one becareful with, it has room for errors to be made.

6. Immediately after your assessments...do your documentation on scrap paper or get a note book (remember to shred after shift)...then you can review it, have a mentor review it then put it in the chart when time allows.

7. Keep resources handy...if you had a great medical book in school bring it to work and have it readily available. Look things up...I say everything.

8. Set a goal each day...and focus on it in a sense perfecting it...accurate complete, nice documentation...or feeling more confident or more experience with head to toe assessment or system assessment.

To often nurses get a one track mind...never leave it to look at a big picture of all patients. Being meticulous is a good thing, I am the same way...but I like you need to be careful not to go over board and neglecting other things.

Give yourself time, comfort and confidence only comes with time...you will get there...I do however recommending finding a new job...one where your mentor is not eating his/her young and being ridiculous with expectations and reactions.

Good luck hun

I'm still in nursing school, but your tips are great. I found points in your tips that I can use to help me with my time management right now.

[CinLPN2RN]

(Rebecca: Good expression of thoughts.)

I would like to add that it's hard not to feel as if everyone is laughing at you when you have low confidence. It is understandable to be hurt by it, but find comfort that you will gain confidence as you gain experience. Then, remember how you felt starting up as a first time nurse and treat future nurses how you would have liked to been treated.

Cindy

[underwatergirl]

FutureOhioLPN,

I am glad it helped...remember things will get easier over time...anything else I can help with just pm me.

Annette