Feeling Guilty-Kids,Work&school

FNPhopeful · Sep 12, 2005

On a guilt scale of one to ten I am like 10 million!!!!! But you have to think rationally not emotionally. In actuallity the time you spend at school isnt alot compared to how much you are with them and it will ultimately benefit you guys so much to get an education. Besides your are 7 and 11 they can comprehend what your doing. Mine are 1 and 4 and beg me constantly to play and sometimes I just have to say sweetie Ive got to do my homework.

I feel tremendous guilt, but you are setting such a good example for them, how can you feel guilty about that?

They will also benefit as soon to be adults by knowing college is rewarding, necessary, and doable.

Go to school but just find a balance and realize that mommy guilt is just natural.

Good luck

Happychic · Sep 12, 2005

I too am feeling a little guilty..i have 2 children under 3 and am expecting my 3rd. Right now i'm just trying to get my pre reqs out of the way so it wont be as hard once i start the nursing program. I think more than feeling guilty i'm feeling overwhelmed. I haven't gotten into a routine yet and just feel there isn't enough time to do everything that needs to be done plus study. I'm taking 14 credits (a&p 1 + lab, online nutrition, pharmacology, & medical terminology) a&p and pharmacology are killing..i have a test everytime i have class from the chapter we learned the week before...but i know eventually once i get into a routine things will be alot better...i just need to figure out how too :)

Fun2, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2005

My girls are 8 and 14. I'm only taking 1 class at a time, mostly, but most of my classes have been fast-tracks.

I spent almost all of my time studying. So, I can relate. However, I am trying to do this not only for myself, but also for my family.

They deserve a better life than I can give them now. Sacrificing a little now, will help my family in the future. It also will show my children how important a college education is. Also, I am trying to be a good role model, not only as a mother, but also as a student.

Take a deep breath, try to relax. Take a few minutes now and then to tell your kiddos you love them. Plan some time to spend just with them, no books.

Good luck. :)

Micci · Sep 13, 2005

Hi, I just thought I should introduce myself. I am the Queen of Guilt.

I too wish I had done this earlier. I have 3 kids (since two of them have birthdays in the next few weeks, I'll give their adjusted ages) 9, 5 & 3. The 9 year old is autistic, so she has extra needs. I am going back to work p/t to offset the costs of going to school- which is creating a financial strain and racking up further debt. I am taking 10 credit units right now and studying for the nursing enterance exam. I go to school 2 nights a week and do the rest independant study or online. I will probably start working overnights or weekends. I study alot too. If I get into the nursing program next year, the littlest one will be in daycare 3 days a week and the middle one part time before k-garten. Which is going to cost more money and time with my kids.

I have to remind myself that I am doing this for my family's benefit. My husband is in the computer industry, and ever since 9/11, things have just not been the same. He works contract to make the good money, but we always have either no benefits or really, really bad benefit plans. If became an employee of a company, we would take a sizeable income loss- which would mean benefits but choosing between house or clothing & food. LOL! Plus, the industry for him is no longer stable and he gets laid off quite a bit (contracts often come to an end with no warning). I need to have a stable career that pays well and provides benefits. So I am doing this for financial stability, which benefits the family. That helps lessen my guilt.

RNLisa · Sep 13, 2005

Hi, I just thought I should introduce myself. I am the Queen of Guilt.
I too wish I had done this earlier. I have 3 kids (since two of them have birthdays in the next few weeks, I'll give their adjusted ages) 9, 5 & 3. The 9 year old is autistic, so she has extra needs. I am going back to work p/t to offset the costs of going to school- which is creating a financial strain and racking up further debt. I am taking 10 credit units right now and studying for the nursing enterance exam. I go to school 2 nights a week and do the rest independant study or online. I will probably start working overnights or weekends. I study alot too. If I get into the nursing program next year, the littlest one will be in daycare 3 days a week and the middle one part time before k-garten. Which is going to cost more money and time with my kids.
I have to remind myself that I am doing this for my family's benefit. My husband is in the computer industry, and ever since 9/11, things have just not been the same. He works contract to make the good money, but we always have either no benefits or really, really bad benefit plans. If became an employee of a company, we would take a sizeable income loss- which would mean benefits but choosing between house or clothing & food. LOL! Plus, the industry for him is no longer stable and he gets laid off quite a bit (contracts often come to an end with no warning). I need to have a stable career that pays well and provides benefits. So I am doing this for financial stability, which benefits the family. That helps lessen my guilt.

Well, I am in the running for the "worst mom" ever with all the guilt I have. I am in the nursing program, have 3 more quarters to go. I have 3 children ages 13, 9, and almost 4 yrs old. My two older kids are in sports at school, and my youngest is always wanting me to play with him. I start back tomorrow after a long break and I am NOT looking forward to it. My kids are very supportive and the older ones do seem to understand; and they tell me to not quit and keep going. But, I can't seem to get it through my head. I am feeling overwhelmed and just part of me wants to just say forget it and just be a mom. I am 35 years old and it just seems so stressful and gets more stressful as I enter into my last year. It is only going to get more difficult and studying will overcome my life.

So, what I am trying to say, Yes it is stressful, overwhelming, but do-able. I just have to tell myself that it is ONLY 3 quarters, and to stick it out.

I have told myself that if it is meant for me to be a nurse I will. But, if not; then I will accept that and move on.

Micci · Sep 13, 2005

So, what I am trying to say, Yes it is stressful, overwhelming, but do-able. I just have to tell myself that it is ONLY 3 quarters, and to stick it out.

If you quit now, you know you will regret it. It is so hard to get motivated now. It is only three more quarters. Stay strong!! You can do it!!

rang · Sep 13, 2005

Hi all!

I just wanted to add that I also feel the same guilt. My kids are 1 and 3. My 3 year old constantly tells me that she doesn't want me to leave on the days when I have class. All I can do is spend as much time as possible with them during the day to try to alleviate their anxiety when I have to leave. I just started school 3 weeks ago, so this is still relatively new to them. I'm sure it will get better as time goes by, but for now, it is definitely hard! I'm in there with all of you! We'll make it through and it will be better for our children in the long run. Good luck and best wishes to you all!

Fun2, BSN, RN · Sep 13, 2005

lol.....that reminds me.

My lil one (7 then, now 8) started that during the summer. I was taking a night Microbiology class. I had to leave the house around 3:15 in order to get there by 5:30. ( I usually got there an hour early, but would have been late b/c of traffic if I waited until rush hour got going strong.)

Anyway, I was with her ALL DAY, but for some reason she started the, "Mommie, I don't want you to go." Being that she was 7 and I had been home all day with her (summer vacation), I had to put a stop to that. lol

Kids are funny. One day they don't want you bothering them, the next they are bugging you for attention. lol

Hi all!
I just wanted to add that I also feel the same guilt. My kids are 1 and 3. My 3 year old constantly tells me that she doesn't want me to leave on the days when I have class. All I can do is spend as much time as possible with them during the day to try to alleviate their anxiety when I have to leave. I just started school 3 weeks ago, so this is still relatively new to them. I'm sure it will get better as time goes by, but for now, it is definitely hard! I'm in there with all of you! We'll make it through and it will be better for our children in the long run. Good luck and best wishes to you all!

brandyl123 · Sep 13, 2005

Hi, I just thought I should introduce myself. I am the Queen of Guilt.
I too wish I had done this earlier. I have 3 kids (since two of them have birthdays in the next few weeks, I'll give their adjusted ages) 9, 5 & 3. The 9 year old is autistic, so she has extra needs. I am going back to work p/t to offset the costs of going to school- which is creating a financial strain and racking up further debt. I am taking 10 credit units right now and studying for the nursing enterance exam. I go to school 2 nights a week and do the rest independant study or online. I will probably start working overnights or weekends. I study alot too. If I get into the nursing program next year, the littlest one will be in daycare 3 days a week and the middle one part time before k-garten. Which is going to cost more money and time with my kids.
I have to remind myself that I am doing this for my family's benefit. My husband is in the computer industry, and ever since 9/11, things have just not been the same. He works contract to make the good money, but we always have either no benefits or really, really bad benefit plans. If became an employee of a company, we would take a sizeable income loss- which would mean benefits but choosing between house or clothing & food. LOL! Plus, the industry for him is no longer stable and he gets laid off quite a bit (contracts often come to an end with no warning). I need to have a stable career that pays well and provides benefits. So I am doing this for financial stability, which benefits the family. That helps lessen my guilt.

OMG, you have your hands full! You said 3 days a week when you get into the program. The school I applied for will be 4 days a week. I am hoping to get in next fall. It is all going by so fast. I am happy I am doing it, but scared at the same time. I just started my a&p class and feel after only 2 weeks that other students understand more than I do. I feel I am not comprehending everything, if I can't get thru A&P how would I ever become a nurse or handle N school. Anyways sorry to get off the subject, wanted to wish you luck. Oh I took the nurse entrance test twice. I was so happy to have passed the second time with very high scores. You will do fine. Good luck.

brandyl123 · Sep 13, 2005

Well, I am in the running for the "worst mom" ever with all the guilt I have. I am in the nursing program, have 3 more quarters to go. I have 3 children ages 13, 9, and almost 4 yrs old. My two older kids are in sports at school, and my youngest is always wanting me to play with him. I start back tomorrow after a long break and I am NOT looking forward to it. My kids are very supportive and the older ones do seem to understand; and they tell me to not quit and keep going. But, I can't seem to get it through my head. I am feeling overwhelmed and just part of me wants to just say forget it and just be a mom. I am 35 years old and it just seems so stressful and gets more stressful as I enter into my last year. It is only going to get more difficult and studying will overcome my life.
So, what I am trying to say, Yes it is stressful, overwhelming, but do-able. I just have to tell myself that it is ONLY 3 quarters, and to stick it out.
I have told myself that if it is meant for me to be a nurse I will. But, if not; then I will accept that and move on.

You have came so far. All of you really inspire me to think I can do this also. I am not sure if all of you did well in school, but I never did. I am 32 and will be 35 when I am finished. I have two boys 11 and 7. When do you find time to study, do you study at night when they go to bed. I am already stressed after only 2 classes of A&P, I want to make sure I study enough, and I am always trying to pick up after work, dinner kids,homework.. ect. I just try to keep in mind ok this is temporary, but my gosh 3 more years seems soooo long, do keep going thru this. YOu are very lucky to had made it this far. Keep up the good work and good luck.

PS. Do you do a lot of oral presentations in Nursing School, and is it writing lots and lots of papers????

twoanddone · Sep 13, 2005

When I first had my little girl I thought online I could take four classes at once LMBO!!! That didn't work. SInce then I've taken one or two prereq a semester and am doing great. I have a 2 year old and 10 month old. But feel guilty that i am always studying it seems but luckily my dad and husband are home a lot to spend lots of time with them too! This is my first semester having to go to campus to take a class. Mimi thinks it is fun that her Papa comes over early in the morning (bringing lots of good breakfast) and stays with her. She always then tries to push me out the door. Mommy SCHOOL!!!

In the end it will pay off and you'll show the kids the sacrifices of having a good education