This is not another "should I be a nurse" question. I KNOW I want to be a nurse. My mother was a nurse for 40 years. I wanted to go into nursing back when I was in college in the early 90's, but my mother talked me out of it (Go figure). I am now 39 years old, have had a few career detours (2 BS degrees later), but am now 100% ready to pursue my dream.
I've researched the job market IN MY AREA and right now, it's still good. But I don't know if it will be in 2 years...then again, how could I know that? I can only see what they are projecting...which all bodes well for me down the road.
BUT - I've been reading AN for about a month now...daily...many times a day in fact...and I am just bummed out! No one seems to like their job, their managers, their co-workers...and this is if they are lucky enough to HAVE a job. That coupled with the fact that my (extended) family thinks I'm crazy for going back to school because I am married with 4 kids and have been a stay at home mother for many years and do not (financially) have to work...(emotionally - that's another story), makes me just completely question everything I thought I knew. Husband is behind me 100% which is a huge plus. This is my last shot...I've gone to school twice tip toeing around what I really wanted to do because I was afraid of the science courses. No more. I have a 3.9 in computer science...I'm not afraid of science any more...I have more confidence now than I ever have....
I really WANT to be a nurse. I don't care about the money you make or am delusional and think it's all a piece of cream pie. I, of course, want to contribute to my family's finances...but we've done just fine for 10 years on one income...so it's not money that's motivating me is what I guess I should be saying.
So what IS motivating me? I don't know...I just have always wanted to BE A DAMN NURSE! I'm not thinking ahead to when I'll be a NA or a NP or an ABCDEFG...I just want to go to school, be a nurse, and go from there.
But now...reading AN where the only excited people are the nursing students, and everyone else, even here, is looking at me like "Nursing? Really? you're an idiot". And more like..."you want to work? you're an idiot". Same thing in this case. Well...the whole thing is enough to make me want to eat an entire DQ cake myself. And I just left the gym...
*sigh* I'm frustrated, scared, and have 2 weeks before my pre-req classes start.... UGH!
Hmmm......I'm at a loss for words for those who think being honest = being rude...there is a difference. You can tell someone they are a total buttwipe in a way that doesn't demoralize them.... And does 'nurse' = insensitive? I hope the h*ll not.
I do like straight shooters too- but ones who don't go about it at the expense of the other person.... Someone can tell me something I don't want to hear, but not skewer me as a person. I don't expect you to 'get it'.... but the "glut of fragile flowers" seem to outnumber you..... maybe they're not so fragile if they tolerate abrupt and cold peers. JMHO :)
I agree- frankly, I find those claiming that their rudeness is just honesty to have failed in honestly examining their motives in choosing their interactions with others.
If you don't feel valued as a SAHP I don't think you're going to feel any more so as a nurse. Feeling valued needs to come at least in part from within. If you really feel the need to work you have two degrees collecting dust.
If you don't know how you'd go to school and raise 4 kids to do a CNA program how do you think you'll be able to do an RN program.
At 39 years old you have two BS degrees, thats two opportunities you've had to go for a nursing degree and didn't. To be honest you seem a bit flighty. I can't help but think (from your posts) that you have some personal issues you should discuss with a professional, being a nurse isn't going to fill the unmet needs that you seem to have.
The reason I can't have four kids, go to school for my pre-reqs and do a CNA program is because the pre-req's are 4 days a week. I am taking a full college course load this semester, AS WELL as taking care of 4 kids, a husband and all of the other things I do. So, no...right now I cannot fit in an ADDITIONAL CNA PROGRAM with the college course load. I can handle going to school full time. I cannot handle going to school full time, doing a separate program, working as a CNA, AND raising a family. If you can, let me bow down to you right now.
My first two degrees were not wasted and I am glad that I got them - and as I've stated before, I could write a book on why I don't use them anymore (children adopted from orphanages with attachment and other health issues necessitating that I be a SAHM, 80 hour work weeks, etc...).
I was venting my frustration, and as I've stated numerous times now...I REGRET doing that - because I opened myself up to, in my opinion, very cruel people.
The last thing I am is 'flighty'. I am smart, dedicated to my family, compassionate, caring and kind hearted. Perhaps too much so as this entire thread has literally driven to tears many times. I definitely do need to toughen up. I get the message loud and clear. So for that message alone, I am grateful.
Finally - I made that original post acknowledging that I was frustrated and that I was scared and I was obviously in a vulnerable place. One would think that you could either offer support, or back the heck up and shut up. I receieved many helpful posts from this thread...and even if I disagreed with someone - I could see how they could see it that way and I appreciated the opposite viewpoint. But the name calling is a whole other level of rude that I honestly cannot even fathom. I go back and read my original post and wonder if I am so out of touch that I can't see how this vitriol can be explained. Perhaps so.
I am no fragile flower. I've made it through things in my life that would curl your toes. I have survived things that are unsurvivable - so I will survive your rudeness as well. I believe I will be a GREAT nurse - I have lots of great examples here on AN of what to do and how to behave...and definitely some fabulous examples of how I do NOT want to be. So thank you for the latter. I don't care if I'm practicing for 20 years - I guarantee I will never be so self righteous. I've been humble, I've apologized, I've seen the errors in my posts, Good God....Is that not enough already?
Anyone claiming "flightiness" or any other such thing just because someone expresses a moment's hesitation before taking an enormous leap without a net ... has possibly never taken such a leap. Or feels unable to take a leap to get them in a better place/frame of mind.
OP, why do you keep this thread alive. You keep posting so much personal "baggage", for what reason? IDK. Give your close friends a call and hash out all of this "stuff". By the time you finally sign off of Allnurses whenever that is, you are going to realize you need to keep your life yours. This is a nursing forum, afterall.
OP, why do you keep this thread alive. You keep posting so much personal "baggage", for what reason? IDK. Give your close friends a call and hash out all of this "stuff". By the time you finally sign off of Allnurses whenever that is, you are going to realize you need to keep your life yours. This is a nursing forum, afterall.
Shoot OP, it's not Facebook.
IMHO. Rule no: 1.
Just for your own, well, preservation.
I've tried to end this many times. And people keep bashing me...and I defend myself. There is no 'baggage' that others have not thrown in the ring. Someone asked why I can't be a CNA - I answered. If they don't want to know...don't ask.
You are right about one thing...I'm done with AN. I will suspend my membership - I will keep those in mind who offered help and I will take the experience of "nurses eating their young" with me. I will go, and not come back. This place is hateful.
I thought nurses were SUPPOSED to be caring individuals.
As long as I'm leaving anyway - let me tell you - my opinion of AN is not unique. I've seen others get shooed off of this board as well and have talked to them as well. By ridiculing anyone who does not agree with your sensibilities you are slowly creating a community of all like minded individuals for whom there is no disagreement. How boring.
You can have it.
Thanks, very sincerely, to all of those who oferred help. I truly do appreciate your kindness, or your candor or whatever.
I will be a nurse...I'll be good one...and I'll do it without AN - and I'll sleep better and do it more happily that way.
Your journey sounds very similar to mine. I'm 36 and back in the 90s wanted to go to college to become a nurse. For reasons different from yours I chose a different path and got the ever useful English degree. I never felt I could do the science courses...didn't feel confident in myself. Well over the years that itch to become a nurse never went away. A couple of years ago I began my prereqs and 2 months ago graduated with my BSN. I started my job last week on a med/surg unit. It truly feels like a dream come true.
You mention people complaining about bosses, patients, etc. I hear that too. People are always going to complain about their jobs. But I absolutely love being at my hospital. I love the patients. I felt that way all through clinicals too. This feels so right to me. I don't look at my job as a stepping stone. I'm here. I'm doing what I've wanted to do for many years. My husband and I sacrificed a lot for me to be here.
I will grow, move around to different units and obtain more education, but I'm finally here. I guess what I'm saying is that I think you can choose to love your job as a nurse. I was flighty too. I think I was trying to fight my desire to become a nurse and tried a few careers on for size, but none really fitting me.
I wanted this badly. I can tell you want this badly too. You can do this! Good luck!
OP-I'm so sorry you have been made to feel like you have to defend yourself when that was not your intention at all. I see this happening a lot on this forum, there are a lot of 'Nurse Racheds' here.
It's so easy to sit behind a computer screen and be rude........I mean sarcastic.........I mean honest......well whatever term they use to justify their choice of words. I believe you can say what you want how you want but just be prepared for the backlash.
Yay for you, stepping out and being vulnerable, knowing that AN is more on the pessimistic side, this applies more for personal issues than the basic "What are the best nursing shoes?," type threads.
Go be a nurse be confident and be fulfilled; don't second guess yourself. You never know, the job outlook may get better in two years, but at least you've gotten an extensive tutorial on how the grass is not greener on the other side, thanks to the 'honest' posters.
Just words babe, just words. I wouldn't get upset about it.
P.S. Someone once said, on this forum, that this is where they come to vent. No matter how hard you try, this 'stuff' always gets personal.
I've tried to end this many times. And people keep bashing me...and I defend myself. There is no 'baggage' that others have not thrown in the ring. Someone asked why I can't be a CNA - I answered. If they don't want to know...don't ask.
You are right about one thing...I'm done with AN. I will suspend my membership - I will keep those in mind who offered help and I will take the experience of "nurses eating their young" with me. I will go, and not come back. This place is hateful.
I thought nurses were SUPPOSED to be caring individuals.
As long as I'm leaving anyway - let me tell you - my opinion of AN is not unique. I've seen others get shooed off of this board as well and have talked to them as well. By ridiculing anyone who does not agree with your sensibilities you are slowly creating a community of all like minded individuals for whom there is no disagreement. How boring.
You can have it.
Thanks, very sincerely, to all of those who oferred help. I truly do appreciate your kindness, or your candor or whatever.
I will be a nurse...I'll be good one...and I'll do it without AN - and I'll sleep better and do it more happily that way.
Throw your party now...I'm done.
Sometimes I have to take breaks from AN too. I come back because overall, I have learned a lot from this site, and it seems to go through periods of being more, uh, "honest" and periods of being less nasty. I wish you the best.
For cripes sake ... That chip on your shoulder must get heavy.
:)
You could perhaps lend a shoulder:) you choose to see a chip, you're totally welcome to it.
When you learn to call a spade a spade, things would work out much nicely.
If OP wanted a pity party and stated it, perhaps I could oblige. But you know what, when you're comtemplating making a third career move in a short life, one must be ABSOLUTELY sure about it.
Well...for someone who has close to it all. I'm sorry but I will not jump on the band wagon and tell you words such as, "You can do it," ,"Oh try it", and all other what nots.
Apparently the same was done for your other two degrees and look where you ended up- not usisng either of them.(Great job of studying for the degrees though:yeah:).
You stated you want to be a DAMN nurse, then be a DAMN nurse already and ignore what people might say.
From my standpoint, you're still pretty undecided.
Facts( from what you wrote up there).
1. You don't have a care about the financial side.
2. You have the full backing of your husband, 100%.
3. You're done with having kids( I infer this), more time for you perhaps.
My Take- You're bored and need something to do and coincidentally, you have the resources to back it up. What you need is staying power.
I say this in a caring way, just because you're bored doesn't mean that you should jump o something immediately. Besides, you've had two tries and none of them good. Computer science is a dream maybe just not your dream.
Pick something and stick with it!
PS
Ignore the negative mood, people will always talk. Weed out the nonsensical and take what's useful to you.
You could perhaps lend a shoulder:) you choose to see a chip, you're totally welcome to it.
When you learn to call a spade a spade, things would work out much nicely.
If OP wanted a pity party and stated it, perhaps I could oblige. But you know what, when you're comtemplating making a third career move in a short life, one must be ABSOLUTELY sure about it.
See bolding ... yep, I perceive a chip.
Do we know that OP has been "unsuccessful" at a prior career? Or just that she suspended it to care for a family? There's a big difference. And bored? Care for a family of 6 (OP has said she has 4 children) ... see if you're "bored".
And yes, I can lend a shoulder if you need it. You may PM me.
Do we know that OP has been "unsuccessful" at a prior career? Or just that she suspended it to care for a family? There's a big difference. And bored? Care for a family of 6 (OP has said she has 4 children) ... see if you're "bored".
And yes, I can lend a shoulder if you need it. You may PM me.
If I had to take time to decipher the hidden meanings or read the OP's mind in her writing, I would be in big business:). But as you see, I don't.
You may have to enlighten me on where it was that
1. Her previous careers were successful or otherwise.
2.She took time off work to care for her family.
No we don't know the answers to any of these questions which is why we respond based on the writings we have- in other words, what we DO actually see.
I don't presume to conjecture, perhaps you shouldn't too.
PS- As to that helping hand, when or if I do take you up, it will be on the forum.No PMs now, can't be trusting you like that:D
That chip on your shoulder must get heavy.
).
hiddencatRN, BSN, RN
3,408 Posts
I agree- frankly, I find those claiming that their rudeness is just honesty to have failed in honestly examining their motives in choosing their interactions with others.