Feeling discouraged :'(

Nurses General Nursing

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i have been a rn since june 2011. i started on a ortho/neuro unit but then i accepted a job at another hospital on a very busy step down medical/surgical unit in october 2011. after i finished my orientation i started working straight midnight shift because i feel i can function easier without all the additional staff, family, etc. i have always felt that i was pretty intelligent and able to analyze and critically think. i did well in clinicals in nursing school and felt like i could put it all together. i feel so out of my comfort zone and like i am just keeping my head above water. i used to cry everyday after work and even before going to work. it has gotten a bit better, i am not crying everyday but the bad days still out number the good ones.

i had to rapid response my patient the last night i worked and felt like i had no idea what to do. another seasoned nurse stepped in and took over while i answered questions for the team. i feel like everyone that i work with thinks i'm an idiot. i have such high anxiety that i recently, with reluctance, started taking an anti-anxiety medication. i think it has helped.

the thing that still remains is that i feel like i dont know what i'm doing. i really really want to be a better nurse. i am constantly reading articles and looking in my med/surg book on the different types of patients i am caring for. i dont know what happened but once i passed my boards and started working my confidence disappeared. can anyone tell me what i should do in order to be a better nurse? i just feel so completely discouraged and like nursing is not the career for me.

Well, I haven't graduated yet so I can't speak from RN experience...BUT, i was in another field before this with similar interaction with people and I can tell you I felt the exact same way. In school I was really great and confident and as soon as I was on my own I felt like a complete idiot and everyone was whispering behind my back about how awful I was. I figured out that I was making it out to be larger than what is was and more importantly it was because I CARED so much about what I did. It is a GREAT quality to have, especially as a nurse! My friends that are nurses always tell me you will have that "first day on the job jitters" for a long time because you are dealing with so much at a time that you never faced in school. Every nurse I have spoken to has similar things to say and it seems like you are facing the same as well.

I mean... Wouldn't it be great if EVERY patient you attended to had the SAME surgery, with the SAME reactions and then by the 5th time it was just like second nature to you since you had already faced it before and you know what to do? With nursing you are exposed to different things EVERY day with a million different types of combinations possible. It is absolutely impossible to be prepared for each one. You just need to do the best you can.

My advice is to realize that you are very new at this, and people don't expect you to be an expert FOR A LONGGGG time...years or decades. You just need to find a way to find your own confidence; whether that is studying more when you get home, watching medical documentaries or nursing videos, talking on the board with other nurses, a starbucks ritual ;) (that was mine!), or just going to work with a calm mind ready to learn. You are supposed to be learning right now, that is what was expected of you when you were hired. It is most important for you to feel secure and supported in your enviornment. Share how you are feeling with your co-workers or preceptor and see if they have some advice for you. Don't hide your anxiety, remember they were on thier first year at some point too! Now you will get through this, and have some great advice for the next new grad nurse who works with you and starts feeling this way. :)

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Specializes in Critical Care/Coronary Care Unit,.

Don't be discouraged. You haven't even been a nurse for a year yet. Book knowledge and clinical knowledge are two different things. It takes years upon years to build clinical knowledge...it won't happen over night. You called a rapid response and more experienced nurses took over...good job. That's the purpose of the rapid response..you prevented the patient from coding. I've been a nurse for four years and feel pretty comfortable now as an ICU nurse. However, I got my start on a very busy cardiac telemetry/step-down unit. The first year...no one knows what they're doing, but you learn. Hang in there. You recognized something wrong with your patient and addressed it by calling a rapid response.

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It seems as if experienced nurses forgot they were new nurses. Some act as if they had no problems starting. They act like they knew everything. I want to remind them t times.

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Specializes in OB (with a history of cardiac).

And you know what else? I haven't even had to call an RR on my patient and I haven't even witnessed a code, let alone had my own patient code (now that I've said it...) so you're one up on me, I'm dreading that day!

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Thank you everyone for your encouraging words and advice. I am my own worst enemy and am very hard on myself. I feel like I'm on stage and everything I do is judged and critiqued. I do think that some experienced nurses have forgotten that feeling of being new and unsure of yourself. I do talk to the nurse who precepted me and she is encouraging. A lot of the nurses that I work with say I'm better and that I really asked a lot of questions when I started. That kind makes me feel like I ask too many, which I won't stop doing. I think besides my anxiety; what other nurses think of my performance is one of my biggest obstacles. I go to work and am nice to every one but don't engage in bashing my co workers I just listen quietly and wonder what they are saying about me when I'm not around. I've been off the last two days and am working to tonight so I wonder what has been said about my performance during that rapid response. Anyway thanks to all for your words. They help and I will reflect on them when those negative thoughts start entering in.

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Back in the 90's when I graduated they told us, "it will take a year before you feel confident and well-rounded." They lied. It takes twenty. :)

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Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

I'm on my second year as a RN and realized I felt much the same way as you, then felt really confident, and now that I know much more (and still barely anything), I go home each night wondering what I forgot to do/chart or wake up with that 'Oh no, I forgot such and such'. I understand the 20yrs comment :lol2:

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