family support

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i haven't started nursing school yet. my prob is my dh. i am having a hard time convincing him that my going to lpn school would be very beneficial. i work fulltime from 8:30 to 5:00 m-f. he works fulltime 7-3 m-f, our kids are in school from 8:00 to 3:30. he thinks i should be able to work and go to lpn school at the same time, take care of the kids, the house, the bills, ect. we can manage on one income (he makes more than i do and my monthly income covers all of our bills) monthly i bring home roughly $1300.00 that is salary. he brings home in a two week pay period, between $800 and 900. that is after taxes. so we can make it on his pay check alone. i can apply for financial aid, grants & loans to pay for my schooling. but i can't get him to understand that if i work a fulltime job in the afternoons or weekends, then that is less time i will have for the famiy and study time. we fight over this yearly, i have been wanting to finish school since we got married and that was over 9 yrs ago. when i had my last baby we agreed that when she started school i would start school so we could cut out the daycare expense. she started school, i didnt'. now he's blaming it on the economy, he tells me once we get out of debt then i can go back to school, our only debt is his truck payment which he has 2 more yrs on and our house mortgage, which is 30yrs and i am certainly not gonna wait 30 yrs. so how do i convince him that 11 months of me not working is not gonna put us in the poor house?

if my $1300 monthly check can cover all the bills with maybe $100 left over, his can certainly cover us. i make roughly $10/hr and i work a 37 hour week. he makes roughly $17/hr and works a 40/hr week with occasional overtime.

has anyone else experienced this and what did you end up doing about it?

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One thing you can do is look for ways to minimize the cost of your education. Fill out your FAFSA and apply for financial aid with your school. And do research on your own. There are scholarships and grants out there that could reduce most of your tuition expense. If you can find a grant or scholarship that will reduce your expenses to what you can affordably manage out of pocket then this would probably alleviate your husband's concerns about debt.

Another idea is to consider going to school part time and cutting back your work hours to part time. You should be able to complete a lpn program in two years on a part time basis. After the first year you would be eligible for a job as a nursing assistant/aid/tech, etc. There are a lot of scheduling options in the nursing so you‘d be able to work in field while finishing up school and gain work experience that is key to getting that first job these days. The benefit of opting for part time is that you'd have time to balance family, school and work and still keep your head above water.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatrics, Wound Care.

If you guys have so much money between you, maybe start saving for your education. Save as much as you can so that you will have an "emergency fund" for when you're in college (in case he loses his job). Since your income isn't really necessary, then it shouldn't be too hard to put it away for a year, and then focus on the rest.

In the meantime, are there any prerequisites for getting in to nursing school? Chances are, it will take a while to get into a program. So, that time can be spent saving, or maybe working some extra.

For myself, I'm lucky that my bf can provide for us while I'm in school. His income is enough to support us, and he's got a savings so that we could be fine for at least 6 months if he loses his job while I'm in school.

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It sucks that he's not being supportive of you. I 2nd sunray's suggestion- start taking part time classes. Leave some things undone so that your husband either has to pick up the slack or at least can see what it means to add school ON TOP of work and family and home responsibilities.

Also, if you really don't need your income, in a year of saving it it sounds like you'd have enough to pay for the LPN program out of pocket, or at least mostly depending on how much it is.

It really bugs me that there was an agreement for you to go back to school once your youngest did. Even if the exact plans need to be modified due to the economy, he should be working with you to find a compromise between his need for financial security and your desire to go to school.

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I would question his *real* reason for holding you back. Will LPN increase your income where you will be = to his? More?

My DH (we have been married 6 mo but dated ~6 yrs) is completely supportive of my studies to get an RN. Currently he and I earn about the same. I still work FT. Between us we have 9 children, but I only have 1 still at home and he has 2 still living with the ex.

He encourages me to quit working and go to school FT. I fight that. I have *always* supported myself and paid my own way. It is hard for me to allow a man to support me (funny huh?)....I don't like the thought of being completely dependent on someone else.

Is it possible that he feels that your education would be a threat to you being dependent on him? That if you become too independent you wouldn't 'need' him any more?

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

I am not sure how LPN programs work, but are their pre-reqs or classes you could do online? That way at least you wouldn't lose time to commuting to/from classes and time IN classes, and can work it around the kids' schedules too.

I had a hard time convincing my DH initially too. I am however going to be doing a BSN. I told him I wanted to take a full load, but he had a couple major concerns. He was worried about my ability to take them because I have been out of school 20+ years. He was also worried it would affect our family times in the evenings.

I negotiated with him and took a couple classes online, and I promised it would not affect our time in the evenings. I got A's in both classes and although it started with me putting my books away as soon as he got home, he has his computer (I also bought him a year membership to an online game, lol) and he doesn't mind (I am also right next to him with my computer)

He has come around. He bought me a large U shaped desk for Christmas so I have space for my books & notes on one side, computer on the other. He is also very supportive now and I couldn't be happier. I am going a little bit slower that I would like, but spring semester I am taking 3 pre-req courses, again all online. Its going to take some negotiating again when I get into the 2 yr nursing program proper. But if I keep up my grades, I am sure he will be behind me 110%.

Good Luck!

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

Start part time--2 classes a semester. Math/English---Ap/nutrition etc etc...ease into it...that will show him that it can be done. Most of those classes can be taken at night.

Once you get your pre-reqs done the nursing classes will not be as consuming and by that time you will be in somewhat of a pattern of work/school/homelife.

best of luck---He may gripe and grumble but is he physically going to stop you from attending??---If he is--you have bigger problems, if not (most likely not) he will hvae to get over it...in the long run do what is best for you and your family.

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Is it possible that he feels that your education would be a threat to you being dependent on him? That if you become too independent you wouldn't 'need' him any more?

I think that may be it, he hasn't come right out and said that, but I feel like he might think that.

I am not sure how LPN programs work, but are their pre-reqs or classes you could do online? That way at least you wouldn't lose time to commuting to/from classes and time IN classes, and can work it around the kids' schedules too.

Good Luck!

I checked to see if I could do LPN programs on-line and I can't find one anywhere. the LPN school here only offers classes M-F 8:00 to 4:00.

No part time classes and it's 11 months. No Pre-reqs. I would need to apply for the program take the NET. And then they would let me know from there whether or not I get accepted. I have been a CNA for 15+ yrs and I am currently working as a CNA now. But my job here does not offer a PT postition. I would have to quit my job here to get a PT job.

best of luck---He may gripe and grumble but is he physically going to stop you from attending??---If he is--you have bigger problems, if not (most likely not) he will hvae to get over it...in the long run do what is best for you and your family.

No physical abuse or anything like that, I think he feels threatened that I may not need him. I don 't know how to get him to understand that going to nursing school would benefit us in the long run. and I would save money if I could, but it's my check that covers all the bills and we have seperate accts, but since I get paid once a month it's easier if I just pay all the bills then to have to wait for him to do. If that were the case none of the bills would get paid. He has no financial responsibiltity, he either hoards his money or blows it. His truck payment is auto drafted from his paycheck and the car ins is autodrafted from his acct and I pay the daycare out of his acct. The rest of his money we use for groceries and gas. and whatever else he has left he either blows or hoards.

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This is the LPN school that is about 20 mi from where I live.

http://www.icavts.tec.ok.us/Prnursing.htm

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So, you support the family with *your* money, and his money is his? That's crappy. And he's worried that you won't need him once you make more money? It sounds like you are already carrying most of the household on your own.

It doesn't sound likely that he will ever be convinced to support you on this. I think you need to move ahead without his blessing, and even if it's harder, set up your bill paying so that he is paying for his fair share.

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