Family problems, might drop out...

[orcagrrrl2003]

Hey everyone. I have been around here lurking for a while and I just have something I really need to get off my chest. The last few years I have been so focused on school, work, and my son that all my real life 'friends' have drifted away. I guess I was a bad friend because I was too busy to be there when they had boyfriend drama or wanted to gossip about everyone else. So I will write it to you guys! Here is a little of my back-story. I am 26 and a single mom to a wonderful 7-year-old boy. I started my pre-reqs in late 2006. We live with my Grandparents and they are wonderfully supportive of my son and me.

I was convicted of a felony in 2005. It was supposed to be expunged once I completed probation, but my lawyer failed to mention that the charge I had could not be expunged. Not what I want to talk about, but it ties in, I promise. Anyways, after years of work I finally got my expungement last September. In 2008 I applied to the nursing program but did not get in. I was the next alternate on the list but no one dropped. It worked out though because I was assuming my history had been taken care of. Found out it wasn't and then reapplied in 2009. I got in! But we were still fighting. The background check had to be done by Sept. 21 and my court date was the 24th. I had to drop since it wouldn't be done in time. Things went well at court, so I applied this year and finally got in!

I've put so much blood, sweat, and tears into something I think will make me incredibly happy, that I swore, NO MATTER WHAT, since I got in this year I was doing it. I have managed to work 40+ hrs/wk while taking 12-16 credits a term, and keeping my cumulative GPA at 3.89 (pre-req of 4.0!). And I still had time to be with my son. No problems would come up that could stop me. While I will still be working about 25-30 hrs/wk, I have a great schedule planned out and even have plenty (not enough of course) of time to spend with my son while in NS! I have worked everything out financial that I might even be able to cut back on work. I have brushed up on a&p, focused on ABG and F&E, and worked my way through 3 dosage calculation books, just so I know I am as prepared as can be.

Today we found out that it is very very likely that my Grandma has ovarian cancer. Her CA-125 was elevated earlier in the year, but she has never had any other problems so we, and her gyn, kind of blew it off. The US was just to make sure. There is no way I can even ask my Grandma to help me with my son if she needs surgery, chemo, or radiation. As horrible and crushed as I feel about my Grandma, I am also a little saddened by that fact that I might drop the program. She has been with me through my son's traumatic birth (eclampsia, long story!), when I left his horribly abusive father, and for everything else in between. I feel like I will drop to take care of her, if that's what she needs. I guess there is no question or anything here; I just have no one else to talk to and figure if people don't want to read it they don't have to. If you made it this far, thanks. I really hope everyone has a great summer.

[caliotter3]

This is a bind for you, but nursing school is your future and that of your son. Your grandma would not want you to forego school on her account. Try to come up with a reasonable way to help her when you are in the home but still attend to school. Chances at nursing school are not easy to come by in this day and age. I can attest to the fact that the schools that might accept you today, may look upon your situation differently in three years. Try to come up with some kind of reasonable compromise. Your grandma would want you to do that, I am certain.

[caliotter3]

Besides, try to give your grandmother the joy of seeing you graduate from nursing school before she leaves us.

[Chapis]

i really do not know what i would do in your situation.

for one, i think that you should be there at all times with her for all the help and support she give you and your son. the time lost with her is that, lost and you'll never get that back. you in the other hand will and can go to ns in the future. is there anyone else that can help you help your grandma? does she have any kids?

maybe you can try and do both, school and taking care of her, but then that's when i hear the stories here about having family problems or stress due to family illnesses that lead to low grades.

it's up to you, i would do what my heart told me to do.

god bless,

[ke2010]

I agree with Caliotter. You've come too far to give up now and Im sure your grandma sees that. It seems that its your time and things are aligning up for you to make a go at it again, at least try to make a go for it. Good Luck.

[AOx1]

Is there someone else you could trade babysitting with? Another mom on campus? Or barter babysitting with a friend for something else like cooking meals or housecleaning? I hate that you will have to defer your dream again. It might give your grandmother something very positive to focus on.

Only you know the right answer. If it is meant to be, the dream will still be there.

[VioletKaliLPN, LPN]

Please do not give up. I understand that you want to be there for your family, but I promise you that your own family wants you to succeed.

My father died in the middle of my pre req's. I kept going, and I even missed his funeral!!! You know why? My father told me that no matter what, he wants me to succeed. He told me to never miss a class, no matter what, to keep moving forward.

I know he would be proud. He wanted me to keep going, and that is what kept me strong through it all.

I believe your G'ma would want you to keep going as well, no matter what.

[happy2learn]

What a horrible situation. I'm so sorry for you.

I know this must be a tough decision, but I agree with everyone above that it would bless your grandma's heart more than anything to see you graduate.

Your grandma will want to know that you are able to take care of yourself. She will want to see that you will be okay without her. She may not say it, but I'm sure this is her biggest concern.

I think with all you have been through, you will find a way to make sure she is taken care of, and give her the gift of seeing you accomplish this, especially since she has been through so much with you.

And honey, I've lost many "friends" due to my focus on my education. They were never real friends if they feel you are a bad friend because you want to make a better life for yourself. Part of being a friend is being supportive. Never look down on yourself. You have accomplished so much, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

:hug:

[Smith.C74]

WQhile you still have the opportunity, sit down with your grandma and have a good heart-to-heart talk with her. Tell her what you're feeling, get her feedback. As much as you'd love to be able to be there for her, if she wants you to go ahead with your plan of going to nursing school, then you'd be able to do that with her blessing. If it does turn out that she does have cancer, you can be there to advocate for what she needs with other organizations. Don't be afraid to talk to your local branch of the cancer society and see what resources they have available either. Are there people from church able to help? Get these questions answered now before she's too sick from any chemo/radiation/etc.

You've come too far and gone through too much to have to give it up now. Use your garandma's illness as a reason to go through nursing school despite the chaos rather than using it as an excuse to not go.

[happy2learn]

Don't be afraid to talk to your local branch of the cancer society and see what resources they have available either. .

This is a great idea. The American Cancer Society offers many types of events and family assistance.

[JBGC4]

I don't have alot of advice here other than what some of the other posters have posted.

I just wanted to say that it IS okay you feel saddened for yourself despite your grandmothers ailments. You can feel any way you want. I just ask that you don't give up!!!