Experiencing racism and xenophobia when coming to CA to help with Covid

[xwill327, ASN, BSN, RN]

Just now, NurseBlaq said:

Cool. I will address you as Kween now instead of OP, or xwill, your screen name. For clarification though, Kween as in Billy Porter? He's hilarious!

? kween B. Creator of this hive!!

[juan de la cruz, MSN, RN, NP]

Just now, NurseBlaq said:

OMG! Why are you so desperate to be offended? Straight couples don't have bedroom affairs now? Doesn't matter which sexuality, bedroom affairs apply to everyone. Stop with that nonsense.

Oh I'm not offended at all.  I'm just clarifying.

[NurseBlaq]

2 minutes ago, juan de la cruz said:

so you never ever bring up a significant other at work? what do you say when asked about personal stuff like say "who did you go on vacation with?".

"None of your business." So are you now going to make nosy people an anti-gay thing too? I mean since you're picking and pecking everything as anti-gay.

[juan de la cruz, MSN, RN, NP]

4 minutes ago, NurseBlaq said:

"None of your business." So are you now going to make nosy people an anti-gay thing too? I mean since you're picking and pecking everything as anti-gay.

Cool.  Well I know to stay away from you then.  I actually don't think the question is neither nosy nor homophobic.  It's just harmless conversation.  I would actually answer the question honestly and not tell them off.

[Guest856929]

6 minutes ago, xwill327 said:

All your statements are attacks against gay people and human rights

I hate to repeat myself as you stated but: I AM NOT HERE TO BE NICEEEEEE. 

I didn’t ask you to be nice, but I expect you to be more reasonable than emotional! 

[Guest856929]

15 minutes ago, juan de la cruz said:

so you never ever bring up a significant other at work? what do you say when asked about personal stuff like say "who did you go on vacation with?".

I never bring it up, unless when asked, and even then, my answers are quite measured. Like I said before, assessment precedes diagnosis, let alone cure. You have to know who and where you are. Therefore, you must dance a yard before you dance a block. Someone asked me if I have any kids the other day, I retorted: "I am barren." which is better than my usual answer, "they are all in the planned parenthood trash can."

Edited Nov 19, 2020 by cynical-RN

[juan de la cruz, MSN, RN, NP]

Just now, cynical-RN said:

I never bring it up, unless when asked, and even then, my answers are quite measured. Like I said before, assessment precedes diagnosis, let alone cure. Therefore, you must dance a yard before you dance a block. Someone asked me if I have any kids the other day, I retorted: "I am barren." which is better than my usual answer, "they are all in the planned parenthood trash can."

LOL, love that.  Hey if you can keep it up more power to you.  I, on the other hand, will find that too tiring.  I like to socialize at work and have friends who know my life.

[Guest856929]

11 minutes ago, juan de la cruz said:

LOL, love that.  Hey if you can keep it up more power to you.  I, on the other hand, will find that too tiring.  I like to socialize at work and have friends who know my life.

It is just dark humor. It elicits laughter  especially from the grumpy old bats or shock, especially from the newly minted vanilla millennials/gen x. I do socialize at work, but I try not to step into intrusive matters. We are living at a time when outrage is the fad du jour and one being summoned to HR on the basis of rubbish is unfortunately neither infrequent nor warranted at times. 

Edited Nov 19, 2020 by cynical-RN

[Guest856929]

59 minutes ago, xwill327 said:

I don’t identify as sir. Yes. That’s what you are as well as unhinged

Mia culpa. I stand corrected and much obliged from the correction. However, your sentence structure is unhinged. At the minimum, try to be coherent. You are incapable of engaging in nuanced discourse. Henceforth, I highly dissuade you from typing without thinking. 

Edited Nov 19, 2020 by cynical-RN

[juan de la cruz, MSN, RN, NP]

4 minutes ago, cynical-RN said:

It is just dark humor. It elicits laughter  especially from the grumpy old bats or shock, especially from the newly minted vanilla millennials/gen x. I do socialize at work, but I try not to step into intrusive matters. Where living at a time when outrage is the fad du jour and one being summoned to HR on the basis of rubbish is unfortunately neither infrequent nor warranted at times. 

Trust me, I'm not as liberal as I seem in this thread.  But I am an avid pro-LGBT as a gay male who was in the closet for years and suffered from it.  I am an out gay man in all aspects of my life and has been for 11 years.  It's such a sigh of relief actually when I can be honest to everyone about who I am.  When I started a new job 11 years ago, new co-workers and I were gathered at a table in the cafeteria and I was asked what made me move to San Francisco and my response was "my husband and I have been planning a move here for years".  I was met with "we finally have a gay NP in our group!" and I was like "wow!".

[Guest856929]

13 minutes ago, cynical-RN said:

 

 

Edited Nov 19, 2020 by cynical-RN

[Guest856929]

11 minutes ago, juan de la cruz said:

Trust me, I'm not as liberal as I seem in this thread.  But I am an avid pro-LGBT as a gay male who was in the closet for years and suffered from it.  I am an out gay man in all aspects of my life and has been for 11 years.  It's such a sigh of relief actually when I can be honest to everyone about who I am.  When I started a new job 11 years ago, new co-workers and I were gathered at a table in the cafeteria and I was asked what made me move to San Francisco and my response was "my husband and I have been planning a move here for years".  I was met with "we finally have a gay NP in our group!" and I was like "wow!".

I respect where you are coming from. Indeed, it is not my place as a straight man to tell you how to feel as a gay man. I think the argument here is the appropriateness of location relative to professionalism. I think such a casual conversation in the cafeteria is innocuous juxtaposed to the nurses' station, OR, patient room etc. And sometimes, the things straight people ask out of curiosity and ignorance should be considered a teaching moment. I recall once when a lesbian lady said she was planning to get pregnant. I was amused and confused. Out of about 10 people, I was the only one who asked how that will happen. Everyone was thinking it, but afraid to ask. Unlike someone like the OP who is seeking to be conveniently outraged, she explained the process and pleasantly addressed my ignorance. Later, she thanked me for asking. Apparently, answering it in the form of an asked question is better than just divulging intimate details like that sans solicitation. 

Edited Nov 19, 2020 by cynical-RN