did you ever think it would be like this?

Nurses New Nurse

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hey new nurses nurses,

did you ever think:

--that you would ever feel so tired (both mentally and physically)

--that you could not go back another day (because your confidence was shaken)

--that you are so afraid to make mistakes

--that you'd lay awake going through the day feeling like you forgot to do something or that you did something wrong

--that you're preceptors haven't prepared you for having a full load of pts

--that management/HR recruiters/educators/professors have lied to you, promising all these great opportunities but really nursing is full of horizontal abuse and has a crazy learning curve

--that you will never learn how to manage your time/organize your day

--that you were thrown to the wolves

--that this profession is harder than anything you've done in the past

--that you wish that staffing ratios were more fair

--that the floor gossip would be this mean

???

i have been a nurse for 5 months and i already feel such a lack of confidence, security or hope. i was wondering if these thoughts were common, or if it's all in my head.

please tell me that i'm not just a crazy newbie.:idea:

well, i interviewed for 2 positions: one neurotele, one cardiac tele.

i'm so nervous to think about starting all over again...being the new kid on the floor, praying for a good preceptor/orientation, etc.

it's hard to get back up, especially because this will be my THIRD job in 6 months. i know that seems ridiculous, but seriously, finding the right 'fit' is a giant challenge.

at least this time i knew 1,000 questions to ask the managers.....

so, here i wait. anxiously.

In 2 years, I have had 4 different positions:

1. Hospital #1, I quit in 4 months, due to the place being INSANE

2. Hopsital #2 ICU, quit ICU after a year due to unit being INSANE

3. Hospital #2 Med-Surg, great unit, like my coworkers

4. Hospital #2, Wound care nurse, part time, plus still working my Med Surg floor.

Look for what works for you. I think I now have the combo that I like.

Good luck to you, I feel your pain. You WILL find a good fit, though.

Oldiebutgoodie

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Bless your heart. No you're not crazy. Nursing professionals should be asked upfront to check their opinions at the door. It would be more honest is the employee list of duties went something like this: Employees must endure dangerous addicts, angry riled up over worked and underpaid coworkers, staffing shortages which result in dangerous conditions for the patients, and the real possibility that you will be "let go" "asked to resign" or out and out "pink slipped" for any effort one might entertain in which your mind begins to want to solve any of the aforementioned. This is management's territory. I've been told many times over the 12 years I've been a nurse that I am "thinking too much" I think in all fairness nursing has been significantly more difficult to deal with than a four year stint I did in the Army. The Army had a chain of command, which while it was by no means perfect, at least there was a course of action to take. The field of nursing is a battlefield in itself. You see the landmine, you try to walk around it, but someone always ends up getting hurt. The business of healthcare, in a perfect world, would make caring a priority. We should try to change the way we approach management, as a group, in every nursing home, every telemetry unit, every icu, stick together and change it. I have been so hurt, abused and manipulated over the years that the tender naive girl in me wanted to give it up. Then I think, what if that was my mom, or my child? I want to stay in it because the people who are lying in that bed need compassion and empathy, not just medicine. I know I'm a good nurse, and the more you endure, the more you place your patient's needs first, the more you will eventually reap. In the mean time, exercise your right to leave a bad situation. There are good places to work, and it's been my experience that nurse's are such nurturing people that the bullies tend to try to manipulate us. You can learn to cope with them. My goal every day is at the end of the day, can I say I did what was best within my power to take care of that patient? If I can say yes, then I will be able to sleep. Unfortunately I've worked with people who were not burdened with a desire to care. For some, the bottom line is money, and this business shouldn't be about bottom lines. It's about people taking care of people. It's not a profession for the weak, but you're much stonger than you know.

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Specializes in Travel Nursing, ICU, tele, etc.

Yes, I absolutely agree that you should start looking for your next position. That's the one great thing about nursing, there is an acceptance that people may change jobs frequently until they find their niche. If you tell your next potential employer that your current job just isn't the right fit for you, they will accept that. I know, because I had many nursing positions until I found the right fit. Nursing can definitely be joyful and it WILL be for you. Just keep looking. Perhaps, post threads on this website in areas you have an interest in and see what people like about that specialty.

In the meantime, focus on your patients and making connections there while you are at work. Your coworkers won't support you, but you may find some empowerment from the connection with your patients. That really is what nursing is about. Keep your focus on yourself as well, positive self talk can really help. Do you have some trinket or object that empowers you? Carry that in your pocket and touch it to remind yourself how wonderful, powerful and successful you already are. You achieved your RN degree!!! That is a huge accomplishment!! Now keep pushing until you find the right niche. You can do it. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Ignore them, they don't decide who you are or how you feel about yourself, you do!!

:yeah::yeah::yeah: you can do it!!!

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Specializes in nicu, transition.
I totally agree!! I have been out of nursing school for a little over a year and have had several jobs. The people, other nurses and others, that I have worked with, for the most part, have not been supportive, and it has made me have a very bad attitude about this whole thing. I tried working the 12 hour hospital shifts, 8 hrs nursing home, home health and now am trying to figure out what I want to try next. I have wound up being miserable in every job mainly because of the attitude of the other nurses. Most of them, it seems, are unhappy so they spread it around. Most of the facilities are short staffed or the others that I work with just don't want to get up and show me, that I don't feel any more experienced than when I got out of school. People have said it's the rural area where I live, the lack of opportunities, but I don't know. It's like, you get out of school and you ARE thrown to the wolves, the wolves will stand there and watch you struggle and maybe mess up!!

I SOOO hear you! I came out of school and went to my "dream job", while being oriented on day shift, everyone was wonderful and welcoming. I went to nights, for which I was hired, and I felt like I have been thrown to the wolves! I swear the other nurses watch you like they are waiting for you to screw up. It is very nerve wracking. I felt like wearing a scrub top that read, "Yes, I am a new grad and I dont know jack, so please help". I ended up getting another job that I have not started but from friends that work there now, say it is very nurturing and supportive. So we hope and pray it is! I also was able to keep the first "dream" job and get a per diem DAY spot, just in case.

I also wanted to say that it might be better to stick it out with those nurses who have bad attitudes and after some time, they may lighten up when they see you are not going anywhere. Just a guess though.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I had ideas that it would be this way because I was a CNA, medical assistant and patient care associate for many years before I became an LPN. I saw alot of the politics and backstabbing over the years in the health care setting. However, it is different being in the foxhole rather than the peripheral vision I had before. I get depressed sometimes, because I feel as though I have no quality of life, my house is a mess, I developed heel spurs and now, I really don't like to deal with people once I leave work. I don't visit people anymore or do outside activities because people really get on my last nerve.

I do love being an LPN because it is my calling. I am constantly reading about medical information and learning different ways to teach and care for my patients. But, I am sad because my quality of life on the outside is not what I want it to be. I plan to find a medium of happiness and balance, but it does not seem that it will be as fast as I want it to be.

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It really is nice to know that there are others who feel the same as I do. A friend who graduated with me calls it "brainwashing" that we have to go through in school and then when we go out into the world. Some of us are resistant to that, apparently. I just hope it gets better for all of us. We all just need to think positive, be careful, and just outnice 'em!!

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I feel your pain and I haven't even been on the floor that much yet!!!! My first full day with a preceptor is this week and I am SCARED TO DEATH. I feel like I don't know a thing and finally I am feeling like it is normal to feel that way. No one understands unless they are going through it. On top of my anxiety I take the boards in about 3 weeks and I am trying to stay focused, but I am way stressed out about officially starting on the floor. I have a great work ethic and lots of enthusiasm and I really want to make a difference as a nurse, but my self-confidence is so low that I am really afraid it is going to hold me back and impede my performance. Hoepfully as time goes on it will gt better:) Keep your head up and I will try to do the same:)

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I think it would be abnormal not to feel like this. Mostly, I find myself checking myself over and over to make sure I'm not making a mistake. People look at me like I'm crazy when I keep checking the meds with the computer before giving IV push meds, but I can't help it. I am paranoid I guess. What makes me kind of feel inadequate is that there is another new grad on my unit who just seems so confident and even too confident. She even comes in the room when I am with my patients and it almost seems that she's checking up on me. I always find myself asking my preceptor questions to make sure I AM doing things right, but I never see her ask anything. I could be paranoid with about this also, but lately I feel like she feels superior to me. Who knows. Has anyone else seen a new grad like this?? Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is I think all (or most?) new grads have this insecurity and it will only get better with time -- and I do not see any harm in asking questions and double checking things until it all becomes more natural.

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Specializes in ICU, Psych.

When I graduated in May 2006, I was so eager to go to work and be a nurse. Well, reality set in and I lived every statement that you made. I was a new grad in ICU. I was told by my preceptor that I didn't belong in ICU. I was so scared that I would give the wrong amount of meds and I would kill a patient. It was horrible. I would go home and cry.

Well, it is now a year and two months later and I am still here-alive and not completely crazy. Once I proved myself to my preceptor we became good friends. It's crazy-I know. Nursing is still a very difficult job but time has made all the difference.

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Thank you, your words are very inspiring

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Specializes in Licensed Practical Nurse.

i too feel the same way, all of the things stated in the op, but nothing is easy, the first facility i went to was horrible, and i was new but they let me go, unfairly, but i was lucky to be out of there( read more under threads i started), anyway this new facility i'm at has a really really good environment the staff is so helpful and understands that i am new. having a good environment is part of the mission, if your setting is too overwhelming, find somewhere better. hey we are all in this together, all those nurses that have been working forever started somewhere and went thru what we are going thru now, hang in there, i will, care to join me!!!!!;)

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
It really is nice to know that there are others who feel the same as I do. A friend who graduated with me calls it "brainwashing" that we have to go through in school and then when we go out into the world. Some of us are resistant to that, apparently. I just hope it gets better for all of us. We all just need to think positive, be careful, and just outnice 'em!!

Occasionally, if I can't out nice them, I may out (w)itch them...

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