Ever had a nursing instructor hate you?

[bustthewave]

Heeeey, so I'm in a weird situation. I just started my beginning nursing fundamentals class, of which I have enjoyed and been excited. We start clinicals at a nursing home in about two weeks! I'm always 15-30 minutes early to this class, which is 6 hours long and no break 3 days a week.

So apparently I've rubbed one instructor the wrong way. This is actually the first time I've had an instructor for any class not like me. She basically told me, almost word for word actually, that I am the least pro-active person in the class, and I spend too much time talking to my friends in the back.

I dunno, I was sitting in the front, but they decided the class was talking to much so we all got switched around. Then I got sat beside this girl who constantly wanted attention and to argue (which might of got me in trouble as she would talk to me, and then yell at the instructor for telling her to stop)... then to save myself I moved to the back to avoid that girl, where people wont stop talking.

Gawd I feel like I'm 5.

So she's a nursing instructor, and I'm going to have her for 2 more years most likely. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Is it appropriate to pull an instructor aside and say "hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot."?

I dunno... I just don't want to be talked down to like a child for the next two years by this instructor, and I don't really know how to make the situation better, and I feel like it's going to be a basic life skill I need to develop or something... sigh...

[NocturneNrse]

I found that some instructors did favor other students (when I was in nursing school) and did come down VERY HARD on one or two. It's unfair and cruel, and unprofessional. BUT... it's difficult, even if dealt with in a professional manner. You may have to deal with that occassional nut job of an instructor who is on a power trip. Always document document document.. and if your meeting with her doesn't improve things, perhaps you could meet with the someone "above" her to just discuss your concerns.

Really though - document everything, word for word, time and date.

[bustthewave]

I found that some instructors did favor other students (when I was in nursing school) and did come down VERY HARD on one or two. It's unfair and cruel, and unprofessional. BUT... it's difficult, even if dealt with in a professional manner. You may have to deal with that occassional nut job of an instructor who is on a power trip. Always document document document.. and if your meeting with her doesn't improve things, perhaps you could meet with the someone "above" her to just discuss your concerns.

Really though - document everything, word for word, time and date.

I should start doing this but... (and I should have asked this before), what does documention include? I'm invisioning keeping a journal, but is there anything more official that's included in documentation?

I guess if I e-mailed myself the documents, then I would have a date that can't be refuted which means I couldn't of made a bunch of documents one night when I was bored...

[SlightlyMental_RN]

Something to think about: When I was in nursing school, an instructor always seemed to be on my case, giving me the hardest patient assignments, and very critical of my written work. At the end of the semester, I found out at our grading conference that she rode me so hard because she thought I was very intelligent, and expected a lot out of me--more than some of the other students. Before that conference, I would have sworn up and down that she hated me. :) I was rather flabbergasted, but she actually liked me and would (after the class was done) talk me up to other students and teachers.

I'm telling you this because perhaps that little meeting with your instructor might clear the air and any misconceptions that you have about one another.

[bustthewave]

Something to think about: When I was in nursing school, an instructor always seemed to be on my case, giving me the hardest patient assignments, and very critical of my written work. At the end of the semester, I found out at our grading conference that she rode me so hard because she thought I was very intelligent, and expected a lot out of me--more than some of the other students. Before that conference, I would have sworn up and down that she hated me. :) I was rather flabbergasted, but she actually liked me and would (after the class was done) talk me up to other students and teachers.

I'm telling you this because perhaps that little meeting with your instructor might clear the air and any misconceptions that you have about one another.

Thanks, I wish it was something like this, but I'm pretty good at reading people, and instructors in general. I know when I'm being rode to work harder.

The issue here is, I was told in a defeating way that I'm the worst in the class essentially (or at least the least motivated), which is far from true. I know what being pushed is, and this wasn't it. This was just mean spirited.

There are lots of other indications that are generally petty and not worth mentioning, but exist none the less with her dealings with me. It's just something about me that really ****** her off somehow, and despite her advanced age she can't grow up beyond acting like a child, so she gets petty and passive aggressive... sigh... I hate people sometimes.

[frogdream]

You have to understand that you are an adult and need to take charge of your own situation. Don't give the instructor any excuse to misunderstand or doubt the quality of your work (it must actually be quality). You may want to make an appointment to see her privately to discuss how you may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but you should be as diplomatic as possible, take the high road and be humble. You may be able to turn her preconcieved ideas around.

[cb_rn]

If I were you I would make take great pains to make sure you don't get a defensive tone again, no matter how unfair you may find her assessment of you. Maybe you are in the right but arguing with her is not going to bring her around to seeing your side of the situation. You will likely come off as immature and unable to accept criticism.

As you've mentioned, a Sorry we got off on the wrong foot conversation may be appropriate. Apologize, tell her you are serious about becoming a nurse and offer to make amends. Ask if she can accommodate you moving to the front. Do not offer any excuses but also do not grovel. Professionalism is the name of the game here. Best of luck.

[WillowNMe]

I have had situations that I have not had instructors like me... Two, in fact, stick out. The first one was for my first med-surg rotation. She literally threatened to fail me at every clinical. It was bizarre because the head nurse and the RNs on the floor all gave me awesome feedback, and she still ended up taking me to the director of my program and trying to fail me out of the program. I weathered that storm, fortunately.

Unfortunately, at the same time... I was in pathophysiology. There are three professors - one I don't mind, one I absolutely love and the other one... well.. Shes not a fan of me, and I am not a fan of her. She did end up not allowing me to pass patho. I was very upset, wanted to quit nursing all together. I ended up picking up the pieces, learning some life lessons along the way, took a year to get back into it and deal with it. She is still not a fan of me - I put all these tools in place to help me be successful the second time around (IE: working with specific instructors, getting to know the girls in the new year, etc.) and she did not let me utilize any of them (IE: placing me under another instructor)... I ended up having to involve the director as well as the dean - which neither helped anyway... gotta love politics of a private nursing program. In fact at the end, I had one of the professors want me to come back and be her teaching assistant for this year; this other professor that I am talking about totally put the ka-bosh on it and said no way. Really unfortunate, I think. Needless to say - if this particular professor has anything to do with graduation, you can take my word that I will request that someone else takes her place when I get up on stage :)

Moral of the story? Sometimes there is an inch of truth to these professors - such as my clinical professor. Sometimes these professors just see the wrong side of us and get the wrong impression. My best advice is to reflect if there is anything you can learn from this, change if there is, and move on - show her that you've corrected what needs to be corrected and are moving on. And sometimes, these professors just seem to come out of left field with no reason - so get through it and move on anyway :) (And request they are not involved with your pinning ceremony!!!)

[NocturneNrse]

Just document every interaction you had with her that you felt was inappropriate. And good idea about emailing it to yourself for time/date stamping.

Hang in there!

[Skips, MSN, RN]

It sounds like she's trying to teach you, not belittle you. From the paraphrase of the conversation between the two of you, I see nothing wrong with what she was saying. Perhaps you are stressed out with this class, and took it defensively. Sometimes, in an emotional situation, you get worked up and pick the little things to analyze. Maybe her tone wasn't as bad as you analyzed. I know, because I do this sometimes with people. I will ask the person who witnessed, "Didn't her tone sound awful?" and the other person (objectively witnessing) says, "No, she sounded matter-of-fact." I know that I analyze things emotionally when I'm stressed out, and this situation reminds me of that. I can't say whether she likes you or not, but I personally do not believe she is out to get you.

[APRN., DNP, RN, APRN, NP]

People more attention pay, to what you do, than what you say.

Don't let yourself become a target. You can attempt to prevent this by practicing at keeping verbal and nonverbal communication to a minimum with her.

When you do interact with her directly, be active; by listening to her with good intent (meaning you are assuming that her intentions are well meaning) - this will help your nonverbal communication be more positive as well.

Don't be caught interacting with your seat-mates more than your time spent focusing on the lecturer.

Just a few thoughts.

Best of wishes in your endeavours.

[lilaclover]

When I was in nursing school I was at the top of my class. I was making high 90's in every single course. However one of my instructor's pulled me aside and told me that she felt like I was asking so many questions in class just to "show her up" and "make her look bad". That couldn't have been further from the truth!!!I immediately went and spoke with the program director, who was also an instructor for several of our courses. I explained the situation to her and told her that I did not want to be placed in a clinical group with this other instuctor because I felt she had a bias towards me. Luckily the program director saw my side of things and assigned me to her own clinical group. I graduated with honors and the top of my class. I am still in contact with the program director/my clinical instuctor and am very glad that I addressed the problem with her.

Maybe you should do the same?

[echo56]

Gosh, if this post doesn't take me back to last October! I was convinced (and rightfully so) that my Fundamentals instructor hated me, belittled me and was going to wash me out of the program. She was/is confrontational, argumentative, hateful and somedays just plain mean.

Sound familiar?

Now 4 months later, she's also my best teacher. At some point I went to her and told her I just didn't get it. Asked for her to point me into a remedial direction and explained I was willing to do what it would take, but needed some guidance. Took about a month of her seeing that I was serious... but it's working and we're no longer adversaries. Thank God!