Ever Killed Someone?

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Specializes in VA-BC, CRNI.

Weird topic I know but I think about this alot.

I always wonder out of the thousands of patients I have been assigned how many of them demised because of something I either did, did not do, did not do fast enough, did too fast, or just simply did not assess.

For example you give the Ativan that confuses the pt, pt crawls OOB, falls, breaks hip, eventually leads to demise of pt that would have otherwise went home safe and sound. OR you fail to see the s/s of some obscure syndrome and disease which leads to late treatment and eventual demise.

On the other hand, how many lives do you think you have saved?

Honest rough assessment, how many lives do you think you have directly saved through your actions/inactions and how many do you think (or know) demised because of your action/inaction.

P.S.

Pretty sure I killed 1 person, maybe 5-10 unknowingly?

Saved hundreds indirectly, I hope. I know I saved about 15 through direct action.

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Specializes in CT stepdown, hospice, psych, ortho.

I have never assigned myself that level of responsibility on the cosmic level.

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Specializes in ICU, ED, PACU.

I've been a part of a terminal ween and always considered that killing my patient.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

"Ever Killed Someone?"

Hmmmm.......... While I guess I can understand your interest in contemplating this question (most nurses worry about the concept, I would imagine), I find your title quite crude. I don't think the title lends itself to a serious discussion of nursing responsibility.

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Specializes in NICU.

Oh my. This is a topic I choose not to think about.

It depends on how you define "killing a patient." I've provided a lot of hospice care with large doses of morphine/ativan in which the patient eventually passes. But I don't consider that killing the patient. I've also been involved in terminal weens. I don't think of that as killing my patient either.

I do know that I have saved many patients by quick action and thorough assessments. But all of these patients had multiple comorbidities and eventually die anyway.

How depressing

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Specializes in VA-BC, CRNI.
"Ever Killed Someone?"

Hmmmm.......... While I guess I can understand your interest in contemplating this question (most nurses worry about the concept, I would imagine), I find your title quite crude. I don't think the title lends itself to a serious discussion of nursing responsibility.

Was not ment to be a serious discussion.

I do not contemplate these things in a serious manner, just thought it was an interesting reflection upon one's career.

I think everyone can agree that the workplace is stressful enough without having to stress out on an internet forum.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I don't considering it "killing" to allow someone to die when taking (or continuing) action would only prolong their death process.

I don't believe I have ever killed a patient ... but I have knowingly and directly allowed several to die.

... And as a NICU nurse, I have intervened and "saved" many, many babies.

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pretty sure i killed 1 person, maybe 5-10 unknowingly?

saved hundreds indirectly, i hope. i know i saved about 15 through direct action.

you don't have to disclose it, but i have to ask. how do you think you killed that one person? just curious.

right now i'm working hospice while in school. i had two patients who were actively dying, that i feel my actions helped them go a little quicker. of course, death was inevitable, but i still felt a little tinge of guilt later. maybe if i had moved a little faster or didn't keep them in a certain position as long, they wouldn't have gone right then.

i work the nightshift. one patient had lung cancer and his breathing was pretty bad throughout the night. around 7 am, i gave him a bed bath. once i was finished, he had the "death rattle" and was really struggling to breathe. i gave him his ordered morphine and ativan, and positioned him with his head up, to make him a little more comfortable. i left at 8 am, and he ended up dying 40 minutes later.

another patient was actually doing pretty well. i was at the home with a cna, who was caring for my patient's husband. around midnight, the lights started flickering. this happened before with another patient, who ended up dying the next day. so i jokingly said to the cna, that the lights flickering (which occurred three times in a row) was a sign that death was near for my patient.

about an hour later, she needed to have a diaper change, so i started cleaning her up. she was a large woman, and i had the head of the bed low for quite some time. and i also had to turn her several times, back and forth, to get everything just right. when i was finished, her breathing was very labored and she died about 10 minutes later.

do i feel i actually killed these patients? no. they were already dying. but i did feel my actions sped it up a little, even though i was just doing my job.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
how many of them demised because .

Why the awkward wording? Why not just say "died?" "Demised" is not even a word.

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Specializes in VA-BC, CRNI.
why the awkward wording? why not just say "died?" "demised" is not even a word.

ok, change it to died then. why say awkward and not just weird? you say tomato...

merriam-webster

demised

main entry: 1de-mise

pronunciation: \di-ˈmīz\

function: verb

inflected form(s): de-mised; de-mis-ing

date: 15th century

transitive verb

1 : to convey (as an estate) by will or lease

2 obsolete : convey, give

3 : to transmit by succession or inheritance

intransitive verb

1 : die, decease

2 : to pass by descent or bequest property has demised to the king's heirs>

either way your spamming my thread lol.

p.s. i use the term because in my facility we do not use the term "died" or "death," we use "demise, demised, expire, expired" supposed to be less "crude." i personally do not like the term "expire," the pt is a human and not a piece of chicken.

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Specializes in VA-BC, CRNI.
you don't have to disclose it, but i have to ask. how do you think you killed that one person? just curious.

on reflection after becoming a rn i realized an incident as a new cna years before. fed someone something i most likely shouldn't have, did not recognize the signs of aspiration...code...belly up.

lets just say the "blood" suctioned out of the the pts lungs looked very similar to chocolate pudding...

p.s. also looking back at the pt, he was already 9 toes across the finishing line, most likely would have gone that night anyways. still, i count that one as a black mark on myself.

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Specializes in NICU.

Please quit picking on bug out... seriously guys, if you don't like the idea of the thread or the wording or whatever then don't post. This is lateral violence.

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