I have worked in various departments and facilities as a nurse with five years of experience. I was also an ER Tech before becoming a nurse. I am in a new department, a Med/Surg Tele. My background has been mostly float pool and in ER, ICU, SNF.
In my new setting and reflecting back on my career, I often feel like a complete failure. On my commute home, all I can think about is what I should have done, could have done, and did not do right. I do realize hindsight is 20/20 and I have never broken any rules or hurt a patient. I think I just beat myself up constantly for not being good enough. I look at all my coworkers and I always think about how much better of a nurse they are, compared to how I feel about myself.
I find that I am personally better with things outside of direct patient care and that is my future goal, but I do really want to learn more about floor nursing before going into another role.
Do you ever feel this way? Any tips? I would just like to leave work every now and then and think to myself, "Wow you did an awesome job today". Rather then, "Wow how did I survive today" or "Wow I suck".
I think if you've worked in all those kinds of nursing in only 5 years and you've never been fired, then you have a lot less reason to feel inadequate than say, me, who's only been in a SNF facility (although I have my reasons) for 3.25 years. You're probably more competent - maybe a lot more competent - than you think. You said you're constanty questioning yourself or thinking about what you should've done - well, as I've told at least a couple other nurses where I work, it's the ones who DON'T ever question/review that are probably less competent - or at the very least, just aren't 'engaged' in their job as you are.
Specializes in Float Pool - A Little Bit of Everything.
I think if you've worked in all those kinds of nursing in only 5 years and you've never been fired, then you have a lot less reason to feel inadequate than say, me, who's only been in a SNF facility (although I have my reasons) for 3.25 years. You're probably more competent - maybe a lot more competent - than you think. You said you're constanty questioning yourself or thinking about what you should've done - well, as I've told at least a couple other nurses where I work, it's the ones who DON'T ever question/review that are probably less competent - or at the very least, just aren't 'engaged' in their job as you are.
Thank you so much, that is so kind of you to say and really brings a smile to my face. I never thought of it like that, that actually makes my week! Thank you so very much.
PS- We all have our reasons for career choices, SNF has a lot of challenges. I think it is different from the hospital but it is also very challenging. I appreciate people who are able to do it in that setting because it is a true need and it is very hard for many people to do.
We've all had those days for sure. If I can identify specifically what I did that wasn't my best, I try to think through how I could have done it better.
If I felt unprepared when calling a doc, did I jot down my notes in SBAR before I paged? If I got questions from a family member that I didn't answer well, can I research the topic so I feel better able to explain (the med, treatment, diet, whatever I needed to teach). If I stumbled through a procedure or complex dressing, did I pause before I started to ensure I had all supplies I might need and knew the steps to do?
We ALL have those moments. For me, I just tried not to have the *same* moment more than once. Eventually, they happened less and less frequently and I felt better and better about the care I was providing. Good luck!
What I felt went right, what I could have done differently, and how I could make those changes happen in a similar situation. It gives me a chance to have 20/20 hindsight but also honestly think if I should have done something differently.
Since I am my own worst critic I get some valuable feedback but also use that time to become a better nurse.
I am sure you are doing great, but it can be very helpful to learn from mistakes and make a plan with yourself not to repeat them.
Specializes in Float Pool - A Little Bit of Everything.
Thank you both! Definitely something I need to improve upon is what you touched on, thinking about what I could have done better in a productive fashion instead of just beating myself up after every shift. I will definitely say it is frustrating when you know that things could be better for you and your patients if you could change somewhat non-modifiable factors like nurse to patient ratios. I hate to think about how much more of an impact I could have on my patients lives and holistic health picture if I just had the time too. I wish ratios were more manageable and congruent to exemplary practice.
I feel this way. I've worked in a couple depts over the last 3 yrs; I leave work and think about how amazing some of the nurses around me are and I just don't think I even have the potential to be that good-ever.... It is very discouraging. I just started working on the medical floor and let me just say these nurses make working in any other department look like child's play. I don't know if I'm good enough to be here but I know if I can make it I will be a better nurse in any setting I choose. I think the main thing that helps me is to be objective and set small goals. Identify my weaknesses and work on them. Good luck to you and just know that most of us don't feel like stars either. Be kind to yourself. I would personally prefer to work with a nurse that is always trying to improve their ability than a nurse who may be great but who isn't driven to be better.
Specializes in Float Pool - A Little Bit of Everything.
I feel this way. I've worked in a couple depts over the last 3 yrs; I leave work and think about how amazing some of the nurses around me are and I just don't think I even have the potential to be that good-ever.... It is very discouraging. I just started working on the medical floor and let me just say these nurses make working in any other department look like child's play. I don't know if I'm good enough to be here but I know if I can make it I will be a better nurse in any setting I choose. I think the main thing that helps me is to be objective and set small goals. Identify my weaknesses and work on them. Good luck to you and just know that most of us don't feel like stars either. Be kind to yourself. I would personally prefer to work with a nurse that is always trying to improve their ability than a nurse who may be great but who isn't driven to be better.
We definitely look at things in a similar fashion. It doesn't make me feel good by any means, but it does make me feel better to know I am not alone in how I feel. I am also interested in the department I am in now for the great learning and development experience it will be. It is very difficult, but like you said if we can make this work we can do anything :-) Thank you for your comment!
Is it possible that these nurses you are comparing yourself too could maybe feel the same way about you? You don't know how they think or feel, maybe they wish they could be better like you. Try not to compare though, you'll always feel let down. If you like the way another nurse does something, try it their way. If it works it works. Everyone has a different way of nursing. And like you said, you haven't hurt anyone or broken any rules. Are you managing your time well? De-stressing when you go home? There's always room for improvement for everybody. But try looking at it more positively! You're great but every day you are getting better!
NotYourMamasRN
317 Posts
LOL, yes I have had those days too where I am like... 'But did you die?'