thought these were funny and true. add on if desired....
Alas, sometimes in the ER the family is harder to deal with than the patient. Here are some family member we all have seen in our ER:
DOORWAY GAWKER- stands and stares at the staff, arms folded, from the doorway with an impatient, angry looks on their faces
THE VENTRILOQUIST - talks for the patient until you tell them to stop it
THE SHADOW- you have to pry this person away from the patients bedside in order to do your job. then they watch every move you make as you start an IV, give meds, etc.
APATHETIC ANN/ANDY - brings a book, laptop - has a sort of been here/done this attitude - seems uninterested in whats going on
THE SUCKER - accompanies a patient with some kind of bogus chronic problem and has bought into it hook, line and sinker
THE KLEPTOMANIAC - you might catch this person rummaging through the cupboards, drawers and perhaps pocketing a thing or two
THE ERRAND RUNNER - may come up to the desk requesting warm blankets, footies, water, food, more pain meds, etc etc etc
MAMAS BOY MAMA - accompanies their grown son or daughter to the ER and sits with concerned look at bedside
BABY DADDY - accompanies girlfriend to ER and is suspicious of any male that comes into the room. Wants to stay there when pelvic exam is being done.
THE DUMPER- drops off confused mom/dad/annoying sibling/girlfriend/boyfriend and leaves
SPACE INVADERS - crosses that line into the staff area or follows the doctor into their area - definitely a no no
MAJOR HOLIDAY GIFTERS - brings mom/dad/grandma who they haven't seen for months to ER because they "aren't doing that well/can't take care of themselves/need to go to a nursing home"
CHICKEN LITTLE - runs to triage desk requesting help for mom/dad/etc in the car who are dying (99% of the time they are fine). Comes up to the desk and tells you heart monitor is dinging - is that OK??!!!
SUSPICIOUS STAN/STELLA- takes notes - wants names of staff, name of medication, name of tests. Has special "medical notebook"
Let's not forget about Nancy Namedropper. She knows the DON on a first name basis - :bowingpur- just so you don't go gettin' any wise ideas about not catering to her family member's every whim/need immediately.
Ok, so I'm not an ER nurse. This is from the floor experiences. But what nurse hasn't met good ol' Nancy?
To ascertain your patient's potential GOMER rating, add up the scores of the following questions and compare against the GOMER scale:
GOMER 0-20 points: within accepted parameters
GOMER 20-40 points: needs immediate transfer to decontamination shower.
GOMER 40-60 points: needs immediate transfer to ward.
GOMER >60 points: may as well introduce yourself...'cause you will probably end up spending more time with this patient than you spend with your family.
Admitting note from patients doctor ends with "Sorry" = 10
Patient's clothes refused by both laundry AND security, and subsequently must be destroyed = 13
Patient has been evicted from 4 nursing homes of decreasing class in prior four months = 7
Tuberculosis discovered: (a) 1 week after successful CPR, which included mouth to mouth support = 8 (b) After unsuccessful CPR = 15
Attempt at discharge by resident fails - for each failed attempt score = 6
Pulls out Foley urinary catheter with 30mL balloon inflated (males only) = 7 (a) if in full leather restraints at time = 11 (b) if restraints are found to be bitten in half = 15
NURSE-KNOW-IT-ALL-A family member who is a nurse from another area in the hospital. She repeatedly pushed the silence button on the IV pump infusing Lidocaine into her father who was admitted for sustained V-Tach (instead of pushing the call bell to call me). Her explaination was, "I silenced it because the noise was bothering my dad. His heart rate's OK now so he didn't need it anyway. You know, I AM a nurse in this hospital, too. I know how to operate the IV pumps." Maybe she was hoping for an early inheritance...
We had the "window monkeys". In our ER, we had rooms with sliding glass doors and in order to look out into the hall, you had to move the curtains and stand in the window. They looked liked monkeys in a zoo!
What about INTERNET INGA? Who has researched exactly what she has and only needs the doc to write a certain script and order XYZ tests but nothing else because she already looked at Google and Wickipedia and and and and..........
Listening Linda: Sits in the room and listens to the nurses' personal conversations (who are at the desk) and adds her own comments/opinions from the room.
Hollerin' Hilda: Has a voice that carries from one side of the Grand Canyon to the other. And of course her conversation is FULL of profanities. Thank Goodness she and Listening Linda weren't there at the same time!
Asthmatic Addie: Daddy's sent over from the NH. She needs a breathing treatment of her own "since I'm here".
Got a 3 day weekend coming up. I'm sure I'll have more!
They either walked in, or rode in on EMS, but they need a ride home. They cant take the bus because, its cold, windy, rainy,.... whatever and can't call a cab they dont have enough money, they are here now and we need to figure out how to transport them home.
Specializes in OR, OB, EM, Flight, ICU, PACU.......
Brillaint!
I will add latino family who brings 27 people for a broken finger. What's up with that?
Former ED Volunteer.
Absolutely! "Oh, and by the way, since we are here already, can we get school physicals for the (insert # here) children, and I think Aunt Martha is out of her (unknown) medicine so can we get a 'script' for some more, and I'm due for my annual Pap smear, can I get that too........................ Unbelievable!
Specializes in OR, OB, EM, Flight, ICU, PACU.......
IRRELEVANT INFORMATION SUPPLIERS--Prattle on and on about their own medical/surgical/psychiatric history when all I want to know is the patient's info. Interrupt history taking with vignettes of their own past medical experiences.
I know this patient! You walk in the room to introduce yourself, and get the History of the world starting with the Flood!
. Unbelievable!
squeakykitty
934 Posts
I hope they don't show up on this thread. I would hate to see this thread go south. I love this thread!