thought these were funny and true. add on if desired....
Alas, sometimes in the ER the family is harder to deal with than the patient. Here are some family member we all have seen in our ER:
DOORWAY GAWKER- stands and stares at the staff, arms folded, from the doorway with an impatient, angry looks on their faces
THE VENTRILOQUIST - talks for the patient until you tell them to stop it
THE SHADOW- you have to pry this person away from the patients bedside in order to do your job. then they watch every move you make as you start an IV, give meds, etc.
APATHETIC ANN/ANDY - brings a book, laptop - has a sort of been here/done this attitude - seems uninterested in whats going on
THE SUCKER - accompanies a patient with some kind of bogus chronic problem and has bought into it hook, line and sinker
THE KLEPTOMANIAC - you might catch this person rummaging through the cupboards, drawers and perhaps pocketing a thing or two
THE ERRAND RUNNER - may come up to the desk requesting warm blankets, footies, water, food, more pain meds, etc etc etc
MAMAS BOY MAMA - accompanies their grown son or daughter to the ER and sits with concerned look at bedside
BABY DADDY - accompanies girlfriend to ER and is suspicious of any male that comes into the room. Wants to stay there when pelvic exam is being done.
THE DUMPER- drops off confused mom/dad/annoying sibling/girlfriend/boyfriend and leaves
SPACE INVADERS - crosses that line into the staff area or follows the doctor into their area - definitely a no no
MAJOR HOLIDAY GIFTERS - brings mom/dad/grandma who they haven't seen for months to ER because they "aren't doing that well/can't take care of themselves/need to go to a nursing home"
CHICKEN LITTLE - runs to triage desk requesting help for mom/dad/etc in the car who are dying (99% of the time they are fine). Comes up to the desk and tells you heart monitor is dinging - is that OK??!!!
SUSPICIOUS STAN/STELLA- takes notes - wants names of staff, name of medication, name of tests. Has special "medical notebook"
scarymary, that GOMER scale was one of the funniest things I've ever read!! I always knew what a GOMER was but had no idea how to score them! That's great!!
I don't have a cool nickname for this, but I have my theory of INS (interference with natural selection), they've either survived their mishap and thereby invalidating themselves for a Darwin Award or they've done something that (10,000 years ago) would've gotten them thrown over a cliff by the other cavemen! changing the gene pool one drop at a time.
There's also the patient who suffers from chronic IFS (idiot family syndrome) and they would do a whole lot better if they could just get away from their "caregivers".
scarymary, that GOMER scale was one of the funniest things I've ever read!! I always knew what a GOMER was but had no idea how to score them! That's great!!
I don't have a cool nickname for this, but I have my theory of INS (interference with natural selection), they've either survived their mishap and thereby invalidating themselves for a Darwin Award or they've done something that (10,000 years ago) would've gotten them thrown over a cliff by the other cavemen! changing the gene pool one drop at a time.
There's also the patient who suffers from chronic IFS (idiot family syndrome) and they would do a whole lot better if they could just get away from their "caregivers".
FRIDAY NIGHT-NEED A LIFE: frequent fliers who seem to come in every weekend with their posse in tow with a bogus complaint so they can watch cable tv, drink pop, use the phone and basically have a party in the room. Nothing like cleaning up 6 pop cans and a bunch of lorna doone wrappers after the patient with "extreme" abdominal pain has finally left the building.
Lecherous Larry: Attempts to flirt with every nurse in front of his six month pregnant baby's mama who is in to be seen for the STD he gave her. Oooh, yeah...he's sexy! :sasq:
How about Drama King/Queen Dingaling? The ones who come in by ambulance for a minor condition and complain about the wait because their minor condition is a "major emergency"
We refer to the DoorGawkers as "Buzzards" because they circle the nurses' station. I politely (but very firmly) tell them that they have to stay in the room because it violates patient confidentiality for them to be out in the halls. Then I make sure that they have a chair to sit in, so they don't have any excuses. We also refer to the circling behavior as "The Buzzardlope" in honor of a dance contest done at Stan's in Chocoloskee.
We refer to the DoorGawkers as "Buzzards" because they circle the nurses' station. I politely (but very firmly) tell them that they have to stay in the room because it violates patient confidentiality for them to be out in the halls. Then I make sure that they have a chair to sit in, so they don't have any excuses. We also refer to the circling behavior as "The Buzzardlope" in honor of a dance contest done at Stan's in Chocoloskee.
Specializes in TraumaER ,NICUx2days, HEMEONC CathLab IV.
tonight, a wife says to me, oh god you aren't going to stick him are you, after the md just walked out and informed them you are getting an iv and iv pain meds. she whines "i am calling donna she works at "downtown memorial" she will get it all straight, she will know what needs to be done, they always have problems with the iv,"......... so i left to get a 16g cause all i brought was a 18g, and while she continued to blaaaa blaaa blaaa and i had 2 iv's in and blood drawn, i asked in my most "there there isn't that nice" kind of sticky sweet voice, i say, "now, hun, did you want your husband transfered "downtown" where donna can take care of him????." and with a straight face she says, "she hasn't called me back her yet, she works in dietary you know.". dumb ass
Specializes in TraumaER ,NICUx2days, HEMEONC CathLab IV.
I posted the same idea a while ago!!!
But for some reason, no ER's have adopted the visitor shocking policy yet....
I want to just hold the Cattle Prod Zap the crap out of *them. now, by *them you know the ones I mean, *the gawkers, the in out in out in out. *the obnoxious I know it all ... (so why did you bring them here just to bother the %#@$ out of me ?? ones' Hey, I am busy taking care of the sick folk that really need me.
Specializes in TraumaER ,NICUx2days, HEMEONC CathLab IV.
nursingis4me i hope you dont plan on working in an er. without some type of sense of humor you'll be burned out within a year. as another poster said we're just blowing off steam so we can return to work somewhat sane. i didn't mean to offend anybody with my thread.
HEY, YOUR THREAD IS FUNNY FUNNIER FUNNIEST.. so there.
don't apologize. you make me laugh and it's 23:22 after a short 14 hours of ER madness. more in the AM.........CABO WABO rules!!!!!
I have always gotten a kick out of the extreme statements. "I'm freezin' to death", "I'm starvin' to death". I went to assess a Pt. with cc of "can't breathe". I was trying to get him assessed, but the wife would have none of it. "He's freezing to death right now!" No problem. I'll be back ASAP with a blanket.
getoverit, BSN, RN, EMT-P
432 Posts
scarymary, that GOMER scale was one of the funniest things I've ever read!! I always knew what a GOMER was but had no idea how to score them! That's great!!
I don't have a cool nickname for this, but I have my theory of INS (interference with natural selection), they've either survived their mishap and thereby invalidating themselves for a Darwin Award or they've done something that (10,000 years ago) would've gotten them thrown over a cliff by the other cavemen! changing the gene pool one drop at a time.
There's also the patient who suffers from chronic IFS (idiot family syndrome) and they would do a whole lot better if they could just get away from their "caregivers".