A couple months ago I posted a question asking if it were possible for someone to more or less enjoy depression [or for depression to feel like a comfort zone]. Rather than anyone answering the question, all I received were personal experiences and extreme flaming...
Just wanted to let you all know I found my answer. Someone with Bipolar disorder that experiences a 'mixed state' in which they experience some manic symptoms like euphoria, heighten creativity, or grandiosity while simultaneously experiencing a depressed state [or milder dysthymia] could consider that "depressed state" rather enjoyable [particularly when compared to their other moods/states].
Random info on the topic of bipolar... Florence Nightingale was bipolar.
This is interesting but in my opinion no it's possible to enjoy depression or even be comfortable with it as the status quo. If either of these do occur in a pt, I think s/he would no longer fulfill the DSM IV requirements (feelings of worthlessness, feelings of sadness and emptiness, etc) and would thus no longer be clinically depressed.
This is interesting but in my opinion no it's possible to enjoy depression or even be comfortable with it as the status quo. If either of these do occur in a pt, I think s/he would no longer fulfill the DSM IV requirements (feelings of worthlessness, feelings of sadness and emptiness, etc) and would thus no longer be clinically depressed.
You can be functionally depressed without necessarily experiencing the feelings in an acute sense. Consider that you can become so accustomed to feeling bad that you now perceive that as normal. Consider also that many depressed folks self medicate with drugs, alcohol, food, sex and other things in order to mask the negative emotions. You can bring down a fever with acetaminophen, but the infection might still be there.
It is when the symptom-relievers are removed or a new crisis occurs and the comfort measures haven't yet been ramped up to cover the distress that the underlying emotions come out. They never truly went away. They were only dulled and covered by distractions and pain relievers.
A prime example of this is someone going through detox for drugs or alcohol. The chemical process is only the beginning. Things can get very ugly as years and years of repressed crud finally surfaces, and the depression that was in there all along gets to see the light of day. Not a pretty sight.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
What Miranda describes here is dysthymia, or what a layman would call a low-grade depression. Unlike an acute depressive episode, it's possible to function relatively normally with this kind; the best way I can describe it is, it's like the color has been washed out of life and everything looks dull and tired.
My family has a long and storied history with both kinds of depression; I myself have suffered at various times of my life with one or the other, only with dysthymia I didn't really 'suffer'.......it was simply like living in a haze, one day pretty much like every other day, not feeling classically sad and empty but not really enjoying life either. I never fully realize I'm even in one of these funks until I come out of it!
Based on personal experience, I think dysthymia may be harder to recognize and treat than an acute episode, because the person with the condition doesn't really understand that they ARE depressed and that it's not normal to go through life seeing everything in sepia tones, like that first part of the movie The Wizard of Oz.
As someone who has had both acute and chronic forms (FINALLY been med-free for about six months and doing well!) of depression, it's NOT enjoyable. Something I learned to live with? Yes. Something I grew 'comfortable' with? Well, yes. But enjoyable? Never. Not like an old friend that I'm sad to see go. No way.
Mine started out as postpartum depression - bad. It took about five months for me to get diagnosed. Finally, my son's PNP, with whom I worked every day, pulled me aside and reamed me out - "Elvish, let's call this what it is. You are depressed, and you need help NOW. I expect you to get some." So I did.
Things didn't get better. As Miranda described, they got worse. For several months, they were A LOT worse. I got suicidal AFTER being on Zoloft....probably because I finally had the psychic strength to think of a way to end it all.
I went off Zoloft once after taking it for about 13 months, only to have the symptoms come back very shortly thereafter. I went back on and stayed on for another 2.5 years or so before coming off it once more (this time, and so far so good). I am a different person than I was at my lowest. I hated who I was, what I had become, I hated the thought of getting up to face another day in such a crappy state. Truly, it felt like dying would have been easier than living like that. Nope. I didn't like it, not one bit.
I have loved ones in various stages of coping with depression. I don't think any of them 'enjoy' it.
I have endured crushing depression several times over the last 37 years. I was only diagnosed properly with bipolar 2 last fall. It explained a lot, but I had a hard time understanding mania. My manias feel good at first. I get a lot of cleaning done, shop like a fool, bake all kinds of sweets, plan vacations(like, 9 in one year!) and I'm generally the life of the party for a few weeks. Then I go "higher" and things get darker. I become irritable, everything my family does sets me off. As I get angrier, I start pushing people away. I have difficulties at work, at home, at church. I can hardly even stand myself!
So I guess what I'm saying is that depression and mania can cause a lot of different emotions. Mania isn't always fun; sometimes its really crappy. And depression isn't always immobilising; many people continue to live their lives pretending to NOT be depressed, all the while dying a little inside every day. Bipolar and depression are not one size fits all disorders.
Based on personal experience, I think dysthymia may be harder to recognize and treat than an acute episode, because the person with the condition doesn't really understand that they ARE depressed and that it's not normal to go through life seeing everything in sepia tones, like that first part of the movie The Wizard of Oz.
This is an excellent analogy. When I am in a mixed state I begin to "not see" myself in the mirror. Oh, my vision is fine. I just can't see my face--it's all blurred out. Colors fade, sounds fade. When I worked in NICU i would suddenly lose my hearing during codes. It was very weird and I had to ultimately find a less stressful work environment.
Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.
I have depression with cyclothymia which is a low grade bipolar disorder. I have never had a full blown manic episode but I do get these mild manic episodes that manifest by being tense and ******, and angry all the time. So they are not funny, uplifting events for me. My main usual state is depression and even with medication I fight this every day. I rarely have a happy day. I wish very much that I could enjoy or feel comfortable with my mood. I wish something positive could come from it but alas, it does not. A while back I read a book called Darkness Visible by William Styron. It was an outstanding book of prose describing his struggle with depression. I felt that I was melting into this book as I read it.
I've had depression since I was a teenager. This is bad.
However, am I grateful for my depression? Well the answer to that question is yes! In fact it is an unequivocal YES for me. But only for me, I assure you.
I have learned how to not let my depression rule my life. I take my medication the way I am supposed to do and check in with my doctor 2-3 times per year. I exercise and try to maintain my stress in proper levels so that I don't bottom out, go over the cliff or whatever one calls it. I have learned to live my life at a much slower pace than most: as a result I enjoy my children and spouse immensely. I keep my hobbies and probably enjoy them more than most because I know what my bad days look like. (And let me tell you, those are horrible horrible days. Sometimes, it is all I can do to get out of bed.) I have learned to rely on God very heavily which has helped me through some really nasty situations. I have developed more compassion and patience with others because I know what emotional pain feels like.
My depression is not a consistent state of depression it does not remain stable and I do have easier days than others. However, it does not ever go away.
So, with the above said, if I could rid myself of this malady, I would. However, I will not regret having it. I will not be a slave to it. And I have most certainly learned how to make a delicious lemonade out of my lemons. I believe everyone can and should, rather than using their own maladies as crutches to make society responsible for them. (Getting of the soap box now.)
ok2bme
428 Posts
This is interesting but in my opinion no it's possible to enjoy depression or even be comfortable with it as the status quo. If either of these do occur in a pt, I think s/he would no longer fulfill the DSM IV requirements (feelings of worthlessness, feelings of sadness and emptiness, etc) and would thus no longer be clinically depressed.