What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 163
And do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More
Apr 13, '16Completely off topic but thought I would share anyway.
We all know that feeling, at the end of a run of night shifts, when you have the attention span of a flea, and everything is inappropriately funny?
Our manager decided that this was the perfect time to do our BLS/CPR update, straight after the 5th night.
Our hospital does not believe is spending money, so all the mannekins are broken, and the defibs are actually cardboard fakes.
The ER group dutifully sat through the video and then got to work resuscitating the mannekins, pretty much on auto-pilot, until the infant mannekin showed up.
This was even more beat up than the adults, and once we realized the head was loose, that ER sense of humor kicked in, and we went into schoolyard mode, trying to devise maximum entertainment from the up-until-now tedious class.
Imagine our joy when we discovered that if you thump it hard enough, not only does the head shoot off, but the battery pack is violently dispatched from the diaper area, with similar velocity.
And so we spent the next ten minutes happily administering good old precordial thumps, to see who could shoot the head and the battery pack the furthest. I guess you had to be there, but for a group of ER nurses who were way beyond tired, it was hysterically funny. Launching the battery pack outta the diaper was a blast, especially when it shot across the room and hit the wall.
Disclaimer - just for anyone who does not get frazzled ER humor - do not try this at home. Its reserved for those of us who have been awake more than 24 hours, and have been doing this job way too long.
And just to end the "day", on the train home from the class i saw a guy sitting opposite me brushing his eyebrows with a toothbrush.
I really think I need to get out of Dodge and find me a beach vacation before I end up with an enforced vacation that involves 4 points.Last edit by skylark on Apr 13, '16 : Reason: typo
Aug 9, '16Guy comes into the front lobby of the hospital screaming at the top of his lungs he needs a Dr NOW. A surgeon shows him down to ED and he's still screaming "I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY DAUGHTER LIKE THIS BEFORE". He's screaming there's no time for paperwork/bracelet/verification they need a DR NOW!!!!
Hes holding a 2 year old girl who is crying, (probly because dad is yelling at everyone at the top of his lungs) no obvious deformities/bleeding/wounds.
Kid had a fever. 101 and a ear infection.
He he didn't even park in a parking spot , just stopped in the middle if the driveway and refused to move.
Aug 18, '16Quote from DutchgirlRNAnd the winner of this year's Darwin award is...A stupid, stupid mother. She brought her young daughter in because she had eaten several ants. The nurse told her ants are not dangerous to eat. Thank God she did bring the child in though as she was turning pale and getting sicker by the minute. The mother said "I gave her some ant killer to drink to kill them, I hope that was ok"?
Aug 4, '17I often have to wonder about the "wedmd syndrome". I started having nausea, a headache, and chest pains earlier this week, and you know, when you go and enter those things into the Webmd website, it always gives you the worst possible determination of what it could be. So I took local public transportation to a downtown street corner, then walked about a half mile to the ED.... I didn't want to bother the squad if it wasn't an emergency.
Well, cardiac enzymes all normal, chest x-ray normal, ekg was normal, and ccta was practically perfect. Then today, I was looking through info on GERD, and OMG, everything I have been dealing with was listed on the page. Guess I'll have to ask family doctor to increase my Omeprezol. Still, sort of embarrassing for me to have freaked like I did.
Aug 25, '17Had a mom bring her son in today with 4 mosquito bites on her arm. And she knew they were mosquito bites....
Aug 26, '17I once had a whole family come into triage when I was a student during my ER rotation. They all complained of very benign things.
Minor back pain for the past 4 weeks for mom, fatigue around the menstrual cycle for the daughter, and dad came because he thought his BP was too high. It wasn't.
Mind you, they all requested to be triaged at the same time as the others, even when we asked them to leave to allow privacy. They all took turns in the chair, and then just stood by in the tiny triage area while the next family member reported their minor complaints.
I'm assuming they also expected the doctor to see them at the same time as well. Who knows. They left after only waiting 3 hours in the waiting room.
Aug 30, '17November 2nd...patient comes to the ED with vampire teeth prosthetics still adhered to her teeth! She threw away the package and could not release the adhesive.
Sep 15, '17Earring removal. Not recently pierced, not infected, no obvious trauma or problem. Just apparently could not get said earring off ear.
treatment in triage-
me: can you try to show me what happens if you try to take it off
her: *slips earring off*
me: ok, so it looks like the problem is fixed.
Apr 27My favorite has to do with me. I was in the ER twice in 3 days for anaphylaxis. No problems there. Very valid reason to go, and they couldn't triage me fast enough. Nope, the problem was my job trying to say it wasn't an anaphylactic reaction ignoring the paperwork from 2 ER visits and my pcp saying it was.
Apr 29My fav for stupidity was this: 18 year old female shows up -her chief complaint is "my tongue is black" It was about 0300 and after I put her in a room she hands me card and asked me call her parole officer and let him know she was in the ED. I go back out to the desk and tell the other nurse evidently louder than I should of "you are not going to believe this one"! I did attempt to call the P.O. with no answer About this time she comes to the desk and said since you don't believe me I am leaving! I handed her the P.O. 's card back I said sorry no answer.
"We can't fix stupid but we can sedate it'. My favorite
We had a frequent flyer who came in per EMS on a back board for "severe back pain." Took 4 of us to lift her onto the cart. Told her I'd be back in a few minutes gave a call light and went back to my patient in room next to her. In about three minutes she managed to get the neck brace and all the straps off walked into the room I am in and says "could you get me a glass of ice and a soda? I wanted so bad to say it took four people to lift your fat ass off the cart and you want a fricking soda! And after while she asks for a snack. It is amazing they come in by EMS but can always find a way home. Oh well life goes on when you have "the magic card".