phone calls no outsider would believe

Specialties Emergency

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  • allnurses Guide
    Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

You are reading page 18 of phone calls no outsider would believe

Gromit

821 Posts

Specializes in ICU-Stepdown.

Man that is TOO FUNNY! Somehow "I told ya so" doesn't quite do it. :)

The unit I used to work on (nightshift, of course) had a really good crew -we all worked quite well together -and as with most areas, we were always short-handed. No LPNs, no techs, and rarely a unit coordinator/secretary (whatever you call 'em where you work) -so we really had to work well together or fall behind. Around 3, an number of us who considdered ourselves to be frustrated comedians would be telling jokes in passing, and so on. I do a pretty passable 'Apu' (simpsons) and had been talking in that voice most of the night -when the phone rang while I was charting, so I picked it up and (without thinking -as I'd never intentionally do it) answered in 'Apus' voice "Hello, this is 4F, how is it I can help you?" and wouldn't you know it, it was a doctor (of india persuasion) calling to check up on one of (my) patients -who had been teetering on the edge of the Lords Waiting Room for the last several evenings. I told him to please hold and I would retrieve the nurse. I put the phone on hold, counted to 6 and picked it up, introduced myself and answered his question. This did not go unnoticed by one of my cohorts -who quickly picked up on what had happened, and was red-faced trying not to bust out laughing until I finished the call. The rest of the night was much calmer -and I was thankful the doctor didn't ask who the unit coordinator was (assuming that was who would have answered the phone). Sigh. More than my job, I love the folks I work with.

rph3664

1,714 Posts

I was interning with a nurse in the ED. The phone was ringing off the hook and my nurse was doing med count so I thought I would help the unit secretary out and answer a few lines for her. The very first call I got was from this man that sounded very frantic. He asked if we picked up his friend and how was he doing, he had been shot. Knowing there were no gun shots victims at the time I asked him if he knew what hospital he was at b/c we had no one here at that fit that description. He said he knew it was our hospital b/c he dropped his friend at the entrance...which was closed at the time. It took me a moment to figure out what he was saying... The poor guy almost bled out on a bench. I never knew I could run so fast! They just dropped him off and left...didn't even wait to see if he was going to make it or not.

I hear stories like that and wonder why people do that - go to all the trouble of bringing the person in, and then don't enter the building. Did they shoot them, or are they afraid of being billed themselves, or what?

rph3664

1,714 Posts

?????

I absolutely do not understand this post. You don't work on people but you work in an ED? I don't get it.

Fuzzy probably works at an animal hospital. There are several vet techs who post on this board, and their stories are at least as outrageous as any told by nurses.

RN Randy

227 Posts

Specializes in MICU, ER, SICU, Home Health, Corrections.
I hear stories like that and wonder why people do that - go to all the trouble of bringing the person in, and then don't enter the building. Did they shoot them, or are they afraid of being billed themselves, or what?

That's too funny. Back when I was a paramedic, I almost always had trouble when people did *not* want service.

We would roll up on an MVC, find out it was just some ol' boy that worked a mine 2 hours from home and fell asleep, running into a ditch, or just pulled over to sleep.

I'd ask them to sign the run form 'refusal of service' to cover my departure sans patient, and even after explaining the whole idea of a "county owned public service" sometimes even telling them they already paid with levy and taxes, they all still had the same answer....

"Oh no, I ain't signin that... I didn't call you people and you ain't gonna trick me into paying that bill!"

Then we had to hope there was still a LEO on scene to countersign as a witness to "refusal to sign a refusal' ... LOL.

rb

Fuzzy

370 Posts

Fuzzy probably works at an animal hospital. There are several vet techs who post on this board, and their stories are at least as outrageous as any told by nurses.

Yup, that's me. I'm not a nurse per se but my duties are similar. I'm a Certified Veterinary Technician (CVT). I get my share of entertaining, obnoxious, weird and sad phone calls also. True pet owners can be just as stupid and ignorant with their pets as they are with themselves and their family members.

Fuzzy

bigjim

137 Posts

Many years ago, when I worked in general surgery in a hospital in Canada, we had a homeless guy who burned himself at the soup kitchen. He was a very happy wanderer, so we pinned a note to his robe "Hi, my name is... Please return me to 3N." Well, the DON saw it and just about had a stroke. She said we were robbing him of his dignity, etc. Now there were 3 of us for 26 pts (no aides, no LPNs, no nothing) and we were running our butts off. We told her that he didn't even know about the note, but she insisted that we remove it. We told her fine and said that when he got lost for real, it wasn't our fault. The very next evening, he escaped off the floor and made his way to administration. He got into the administrator's office and peed on the big cheese's chair. We got permission to put the note back the next morning.:lol2:

Every once in a while, justice is served.

Specializes in ED.

Ok, this one happened this past weekend

caller (panicked): hi, my name is _____ and I have a question, I was wondering if you could tell me what to do

now we are not allowed to give medical advice over the phone, I guess for liabillity reasons. Although I would really like to not have to tell people "if you feel like you need to please come in"

Me: Well I am not allowed to give medical advice over the phone but go ahead and ask me anyway (just on the off chance...)

caller: well, my brother has been drinking...and my father has been drinking too...and my other brother has been drinking as well...and my one brother said he has been having chest pain and thinks he is having a heart attack...well my dad said he is just faking cause he's drunk and said don't call 9-1-1...and well what should I do..I mean I run a day care center so I know how to do CPR...

Me: Ma'am, if your brother is having chest pains please call 9-1-1 and have him come in right away

:uhoh21:

RetiredTooSoon

167 Posts

Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
Join me, my fellow ER nurses, for my new seminar "Suicide -- Doing it right the first time." With my best friend, the author of the best selling books "Tylenol -- The Lost Art" and the follow up "Motrin - try it! It works!"

:rotfl:

Actually, there IS a how to commit suicide book on the market; I owned it for several years, then donated it to the mental health office that I volunteer with.

The author claims he wrote the book so that people who are going to kill themselves will think about what they're doing to their bodies so that if they do attempt, they won't do something that will leave them in worse shape than when they started.

He has such details as how far you have to jump to kill yourself if landing on water vs pavement, what callibre of bullet is best and where to shoot and what classes of drugs are most and least effective (Sorry, Tylenol). He also discusses with each method the risks and what will happen if you mess up.

LMPhilbric

77 Posts

Specializes in Hospitalist.

I love the Bunny Suicide books. They are hilarious. We use it as a test to find out whether people will make it in the ER or not. If you fail to see humour in the Bunny Suicides, you will not make it as an ER nurse.

northshore08

257 Posts

Specializes in Emergency, outpatient.
I love the Bunny Suicide books. They are hilarious. We use it as a test to find out whether people will make it in the ER or not. If you fail to see humour in the Bunny Suicides, you will not make it as an ER nurse.

Had to Google that one; found the Amazon copy with excerpts you could see. When I busted out laughing with the third page (bunny through the colander) I decided yes, ED nursing is for me. :chuckle

I'm glad to know that after all these years! **giggle**

Specializes in Pediatrics.

http://www.jimmyr.com/blog/Bunny_Suicide_Comic_Pics_226_2007.php

Frickin hilarious! :yeah: Maybe I need to switch specialties myself...:)

abq rn

17 Posts

I was admitting a baby once and after several dopey responses from mom and seeing her in action I got to the part of my form "Does Baby take any medicine or vitamins at home?" Wack-a-doodle Mom- "no but I take a pill everyday but I don't know what it's called or what it's for." Oh, please, let it be a birth control pill!!

After that, I no longer considered myself a new grad!!

I work in a Pediatric ER and we call it high risk MMIS (my mommy is stupid)

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