Eh, just venting I guess O_o

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Jo Dirt

Jo Dirt

Has 9 years experience. 3,270 Posts

micco:

I know exactly how you feel. I had and have very few friends in school, just some friendly aquaintances but no one who asks me out to lunch. The teacher wants people to speak up and participate but if you act *too* interested and eager you start to notice the eyes rolling everytime you speak up.

I study hard as well to get what I have. A lot of times, I will come home and won't be able to study until everyone has gone to bed (have to take care of a disabled husband, three kids and several pets). So I go to bed with the kids at 9PM and get up around 2AM and study until it is time to go to school. Then, I work on the weekends. Sometimes I am so tired I feel my head getting dizzy and feel like I may pass out, but I press on. That is why I don't have a lot of sympathy for the ones who complain they are failing because they don't have time to study and/or the teachers just don't like them. We all have 24 hrs. in a day, and with some exceptions we will make time for what we want to make time for.

Truly_Blessed

Truly_Blessed

423 Posts

hmmm, I didn't post this to put down those who make good grades...actually i had a 4.0 GPA in my college work before I started nursing school. I think I have seen both sides. The select few I am complaining about are the braggers...the ones that WANT to make you feel bad about your abilities in order to feel better about themselves. I must say...I know it IS hard for those who do make good grades, and are not braggers. It's a ton of pressure, most definately. And even worse, when you don't do as well as what everyone expects you to(they never let you live it down). This was just a vent of how I felt at that exact moment. I am all for those ppl who make good grades....but I really dislike the ones who want to make everyone elase feel like less of a person because they can't pull an A every single time.

I don't know when grades got so competitive. Our grades aren't publicly posted...I have no idea how grades get leaked. I honestly don't understand the point of comparing grades. IMHO, grades do not in any way dictate how good of a nurse a person will be.

Thanks for all the posts....nice to see the "other" side of it also. Keep on, keepin' on:)

purplekath

purplekath

215 Posts

Yeah I know truly :-) I could see that you were just venting about the braggers...and they tick me off too, believe me!! I wasn't so much disagreeing - your post just made me think of how hard it is for people on BOTH sides, and from your post I can definately see that you understand both sides.

I dunno -- you ask a good question...WHY are grades so darned competitive?? I actually thought that it was just where I lived (Australia). For some reason from kindergarten to pHD, people here seem to want to cut down those who do well. Over here we call it "tall poppy syndrome". But it's obvious from the reactions to my post that this phenomenon is not unique to my country.

There are some days at school where I wish that it was actually *against the rules* to share grades...I've yet to see much positive come out of it. You either feel bad because you didn't do as well as everyone else, or feel terrible because you did better. At our school we sometimes actually have to queue outside the professor's office to receive our graded papers...so to get out of there you have to walk past 30+ students all wanting to know "how you did". Whether you do well or fail, it's a bad way to do it. Last time this happened (I'd done well) I clutched my paper to my chest and just said "I did OK"...and scooted out of there as quick as I could. The next day people were whispering about me being a "snob" for not sharing my grade - but I'd only done it because I knew there were people failing that subject and I didn't want to rub their noses in it! sheesh..you just can't win!!

Anyway -- I loved that you vented. Please don't ever stop doing it!! I'm so glad we all have this board -- venting is healthy!

Jo Dirt

Jo Dirt

Has 9 years experience. 3,270 Posts

Even on this board, I see people who feel compelled to mention (when it isn't even supposed to be an issue)...I graduated with a 3.8GPA and I just saaailed through!

And?

Some people have "issues" and the only way they feel special is to boast about thier grades. Only thing is, they don't seem to realize how common it is to get A's in school. It really gets on my nerves.

mariedoreen

mariedoreen

Specializes in Med-Surg. Has 3 years experience. 819 Posts

Well, I have to admit that the original post made me a little angry when I read it. I understand you're venting about people who are bragging that they're barely studying and making awesome grades.. but that part about wondering if it's true that book smart people can't do clinicals and that you'd love to see them break down and cry.. I have a friend who's going through that right now. She's at the top of her class in grades and she's wondering if that stupid stereotype that you're perpeutating is true about book smart people not being able to do well in clins. It's undermining her confidence and she's agonizing about it and it just really made me angry to read about how you'd love to see a book smart person break.

I'm taking a psych class in addition to the nursing program this term and just got done reading something that seemed very applicable here:

"Students who experience failure will often restore their self-esteem by disparaging another person. To boost their sense of status it helps to have someone to denigrate. That is why a rival's misfortune sometimes provides a twinge of pleasure."

Truly_Blessed

Truly_Blessed

423 Posts

I think you are totally overanalyzing MY feelings. My vent was not about ALL students who make good grades. My vent is about 2 ppl in my class who have NO TACT. They are the ppl who make fun of those who get teary eyed because they are tired and frustrated. They act like they have no faults...pretty much act like they are in no way human. Sorry, if you are personally offended....but you overanalyzed. If your friend is hateful about her grades, then yes, she can be lumped in with the students I am talking about. If she is a humble student...there is no need for you to be offended. Humility is a good thing.

And your last line from your psych class doesn't apply to ppl like me...it applies to those ppl I am venting about. They feel like nothing in their real lives so they have to put everyone else down to make themselves feel like a "somebody" I don't want to see these ppl cry because it would satisfy me....it was just me saying....show me you are human and you care, and you're not the cold snake you are making yourself out to be. I took 2 psych classes last year...this definately applies to these braggerts(sp?)

Also....it's not like I was the one who came up with the original question in regards to book smart students doing well in clinicals. I think I have heard that for years and years now. That stereotype has always been there, I didn't start it:rolleyes: The question was, Is there any truth to that? And how often does it happen? According to my instructors it's common to see those who are whizzes in class freeze up when it's time to give an injection, or insert a foley, etc. But being humnan, you start wondering if it's really true, or just a bunch of crap they shove down your throat to try and make you feel better. No malicious intent there. Just something my friend and I were wondering. I think it's normal to wonder about that, and a very valid question.

Thanks for the reply, although I think you misunderstood.

Well, I have to admit that the original post made me a little angry when I read it. I understand you're venting about people who are bragging that they're barely studying and making awesome grades.. but that part about wondering if it's true that book smart people can't do clinicals and that you'd love to see them break down and cry.. I have a friend who's going through that right now. She's at the top of her class in grades and she's wondering if that stupid stereotype that you're perpeutating is true about book smart people not being able to do well in clins. It's undermining her confidence and she's agonizing about it and it just really made me angry to read about how you'd love to see a book smart person break.

I'm taking a psych class in addition to the nursing program this term and just got done reading something that seemed very applicable here:

"Students who experience failure will often restore their self-esteem by disparaging another person. To boost their sense of status it helps to have someone to denigrate. That is why a rival's misfortune sometimes provides a twinge of pleasure."

Jo Dirt

Jo Dirt

Has 9 years experience. 3,270 Posts

So, you are saying it is normal for the OP to feel this way? If so, why beat her down for having a normal feeling?

I can't speak for her but I'm sure she doesn't want to see anyone fail. I can understand her frustration and maybe she was just "acting out" in response to it. When you are under a lot of frustration and pressure sure you will think and say things, but that doesn't mean it is truly how you want things to go.

Saved_by_Grace

Saved_by_Grace

337 Posts

Seems to me the op's post is being blown out of proportion...just my 2 cents.

Tweety, BSN, RN

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac. Has 30 years experience. 31,604 Posts

Veronica, don't allow anyone else in your class to rent space in your head. Don't give them any power to make you feel one way or another. Continue to do the very best that you can. Life will humble those two soon enough. They are going to think they are better than them, and when they isolate themselves from others they'll think "there just jealous of our grades".

So many people try to boost themselves up by bringing others down. They may have A's, but I agree with you, they are going to make terrible nurses.

I think we're such a grade obessed society, probably worse now with how competetive it is to get into schools and graduate programs like CRNA.

Off topic: I was one of the few A students in my ADN program, and of course everyone knew it. I tried to be humble, I shared my study habits to those who asked, but usually it was "Of course he makes A's, he's not a mother." I had to laugh because I worked full time and was sleeping five to six hours a day, it nearly killed me.

Arrogance is irritating. :)

lisamc1RN

lisamc1RN, LPN

Specializes in LTC/Behavioral/ Hospice. Has 4 years experience. 943 Posts

I think this is excellent advice for all of us, Tweety. Thank you. :)

((Veronica))

Veronica, don't allow anyone else in your class to rent space in your head. Don't give them any power to make you feel one way or another. Continue to do the very best that you can. Life will humble those two soon enough. They are going to think they are better than them, and when they isolate themselves from others they'll think "there just jealous of our grades".

So many people try to boost themselves up by bringing others down. They may have A's, but I agree with you, they are going to make terrible nurses.

I think we're such a grade obessed society, probably worse now with how competetive it is to get into schools and graduate programs like CRNA.

Off topic: I was one of the few A students in my ADN program, and of course everyone knew it. I tried to be humble, I shared my study habits to those who asked, but usually it was "Of course he makes A's, he's not a mother." I had to laugh because I worked full time and was sleeping five to six hours a day, it nearly killed me.

Arrogance is irritating. :)

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