Dying residents

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Ever heard of the "they go in threes" logic.... we currently have 4 well 3 now actively dying residents... one of them obviously just went. I have been a CENA for 4 years but have worked in this nursing home for 5. I was a bit shaken up after this last resident passed. I was okay until I had just finished turning and washing MY resident that is passing and then was walking out of the room and one of the family members said something to me and then I ended up running right snab dab into the gurney with the resident who just passed. Out of instinct I went to grab whatever it was I ran into to prevent falling and obviously I didn't have to catch them... the driver was laughing and it is funny after the fact but when you are coming out of one room with dying resident and run right into a just passed resident it really sends the emotions reeling.

Then yesterday I was talking to MY resident's family and I told them that i was tempted to pick her up and take her outside so she can sunbathe because this resident was one who took her w/c outside and got down in the grass with her bathing suite on to sunbathe and just absolutely loved it... the family laughed and then very seriously asked if we could. When I talked to the fill in nurse she basically brushed me and the family off saying that it was an unreasonable request.... it isn't really unreasonble because the resident is so light I could pick her up by myself and the family was just trying to think of things to get her to relax and LET GO. I was tempted to do it anyway but decided against it because I didn't want to get fired for insubordination because the nurse happened to also be the afternoon supervisor

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Hmm. Our ER transferred 4 patients last night, all to the same ICU room. Maybe the "they go in threes" rule is true.

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Ever heard of the "they go in threes" logic.... we currently have 4 well 3 now actively dying residents... one of them obviously just went. I have been a CENA for 4 years but have worked in this nursing home for 5. I was a bit shaken up after this last resident passed. I was okay until I had just finished turning and washing MY resident that is passing and then was walking out of the room and one of the family members said something to me and then I ended up running right snab dab into the gurney with the resident who just passed. Out of instinct I went to grab whatever it was I ran into to prevent falling and obviously I didn't have to catch them... the driver was laughing and it is funny after the fact but when you are coming out of one room with dying resident and run right into a just passed resident it really sends the emotions reeling.

Then yesterday I was talking to MY resident's family and I told them that i was tempted to pick her up and take her outside so she can sunbathe because this resident was one who took her w/c outside and got down in the grass with her bathing suite on to sunbathe and just absolutely loved it... the family laughed and then very seriously asked if we could. When I talked to the fill in nurse she basically brushed me and the family off saying that it was an unreasonable request.... it isn't really unreasonble because the resident is so light I could pick her up by myself and the family was just trying to think of things to get her to relax and LET GO. I was tempted to do it anyway but decided against it because I didn't want to get fired for insubordination because the nurse happened to also be the afternoon supervisor

hmmm smoke is coming out of my ears right now,,,,,that was a thoughtless thing for that nurse to say.......take it up the chain......geesh

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the three's thing i have in fact noticed. If your residents are on the death watch they should also be on comfort measures and although the resident can't necessarily say she wants to go outside i think it would fall into comfort measures. i agree with above, follow the chain. i mean if you put yourself in their shoes, would you want your last days in a bed or would you want to be able to do one of the things you have always loved?

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Specializes in Long Term Care.

"They go in three's" This is true. Everytime we have a resident to pass, with in the nex couple of weeks a couple more will also pass. One other things we have noticed, crows will start coming around a few days before someone passes (kind of spooky), but you can put your last $ on it happening.

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We haven't had crows around but then we are in a very busy area too... However our facility has two cats and whenever the two cats hang out by one room we all know what is going to happen... any other time the cats are at opposite ends of the building and they pretty much stick to certain rooms.

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I was going to take it to our DON today but it was way to hot outside to do it today. If I would have taken her out today I would have felt like a murderer because it would definately have caused dehydration within seconds and she was already dehydrated from not eating or drinking.... it was a little cooler Monday.

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Family Practice.

The thing I've noticed about dying residents, atleast in my facility is that they die alone, (no family or friends). I have not seen one out of the 5-6 residents who have died have anyone with them. I've only worked there 5 months. Besides dying alone, it seems they suffer. It usually takes them 3+ days to pass and it just seems like forever. I haven't had one of my residents die, but I do check in on them when they are on comfort care just to observe their deterioration and comfort them. Why can't they just go to sleep, why do they have to basically suffocate? We of course give Morphine for air hunger, but it still seems that the dying process is long and hard. I know they say the resident if taking care of things internally, but it just makes you wonder if they know they are dying and are suffering or if they are already in the light and just working their way all the way to it. Death obviously intriques me, but also scares the crap out of me.

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Specializes in ER.

Then yesterday I was talking to MY resident's family and I told them that i was tempted to pick her up and take her outside so she can sunbathe because this resident was one who took her w/c outside and got down in the grass with her bathing suite on to sunbathe and just absolutely loved it... the family laughed and then very seriously asked if we could. When I talked to the fill in nurse she basically brushed me and the family off saying that it was an unreasonable request.... it isn't really unreasonble because the resident is so light I could pick her up by myself and the family was just trying to think of things to get her to relax and LET GO. I was tempted to do it anyway but decided against it because I didn't want to get fired for insubordination because the nurse happened to also be the afternoon supervisor

Whoa, you've just totally changed my perfect death fantasy. I think being taken out into a huge warm comforting sunbeam would assure me that there IS love in the world, and that I was going to heaven. I love it, and wish your charge hadn't been so quick to dismiss your idea. :o If I add that to my advance directive do you think it would be honored? Lying out on a warm night under the stars would be just as gorgeous IMHO. Ahhhhhhhh....sweet.:smiletea2:

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Another thing i have noticed is that if you watch someone that is dying, hours before they die, their eyes begin to move in a very calculated way. i have noticed with almost all of them that they will have their eyes closed and all of the sudden they will open them, dart them to a certain spot on the ceiling then peacefully close them.

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Specializes in LTC.

Was there any good reason why the family couldn't take the resident outside or was it just considered an inconvience?

Honestly, if I were specifically told not to I would have shown them the best way to transfer Mom/Grandma to the wheelchair and played stupid if anyone at the top got upset.

Death is such a personal event and people should be allowed to experience in their own way as long as it's not hurting others. Taking the resident outside would have been only continuing with comfort care.

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Specializes in ALF, Medical, ER.

In the facility where I work the hallway lights will start to blink. The resident who passed could be on the other side of the building, but if someone is close to passing, somewhere in the building lights will blink. It has never failed and I have been there 6 months. And yes I do believe the "dying in threes" rule.

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