Drug Seeker Stories

Well I had one of those lovely drug seekers the other night. Patient said she had a kidney and was peeing prue blood. Well, I had her get a CC urine. When I went back to get her urine, I noticed her finger was bleeding and some blood spots on the sheet. And her urine was a weird pink color. So I told the doc and he had me cath her....her urine was completely clear. Of course, she tried to make up a story about how sometimes she pees blood but sometimes pees clear too. Whatever...sent her out the door...

Also had someone come in 3 times in one week who used a new name everytime. Turns out he was going to ER after ER in my city using differents names for drugs...sent him out the door and to jail.

Specializes in Emergency.
Very funny- not sure how I could stay professional and not bust out laughing when they hit their nose!

That almost never happens, you need to have a pretty high level of suspicion before trying it, and a conscious person is unlikely to hit him or herself. I did have one particularly dedicated young lady who smacked herself in the face, but then she flinched and said "ow" before swooning again, definite fail, but I was too annoyed to laugh.

Specializes in ED.
Had a woman come in for "seizures". She had a long list of meds including po morphine. On her allergies, morphine was listed. When I asked her about it, she told me she was allergic to IV morphine and had to have dilaudid instead. She then told me she was due for her pain meds and ativan and needed them immediately. I explained that she would have to wait to be seen by the MD prior to getting any meds. A few minutes later, she proceeded to have a "seizure". Another nurse and I went in and did the Oklahoma seizure test on her, which she passed with flying colors. To do the Oklahoma seizure test, have two nurses at the bedside, on next to the patient and the other at the foot of the bed. The nurse at the side of the bed asks the other nurse how to perform the test. The nurse at the foot of the bed explains (out loud) to rub the inside of the left foot (all while actually performing said task) and the right arm will twitch. Yep, my patient's right arm definitely started twitching when her left foot was rubbed. We were laughing so hard, we had to leave the room. Consequently, she received no meds during her stay.

Did something similiar to this idiotic 20 year old, but we rubbed an alcohol prep pad on the ladies forehead and told her "now this may cause you to shake or have tremors if you are susceptible to seizures." One swipe and she was shaking like a leaf.

Also, did you know smelling salts (ammonia) stops seizures really fast on those 'intense' seizures that you raise an eyebrow at because you shouldn't be able to cry out "help me, please help me" while having a tonic-clonic. :D

Specializes in Home Health.

Although I feel sorry for sickle cell patients and the hell they go through, many develop drug addictions and lifestyles based on lies. Some will deliberately dehydrate themselves in order to bring on a crisis so they can get their meds. I've also heard of others who have FAKED sickle cell (proven by DNA tests) to the point where they got portacaths and would just sign out AMA when people caught on.

Do you guys have any drug seeking "couples"? We have a few that frequently come in. One instance is a female "fake" sickle-cell patient and her husband who comes in with untraceable abdominal pain often. They always come in together and they are exhausting. The wife will be crying and the husband will come up to the nurses station asking for her to be medicated frequently. Usually only one of them is a patient at a time, but sometimes they will both come in as patients and leave their bed to go visit the other.

Oh yeah, and the husband has a nasty habit of inserting objects in his rectum until it bleeds. Very interesting couple indeed...

We've got a Mother-Son combo that comes in about every three weeks. His chief complaint is always that he has been assaulted and Mom always has back pain. I'm personally beginning to believe that Mom throws her back out beating on her twenty something son.

That's how uneducated working family orientated people get addicted loose doctors

True you don't and FYI they are't "proud" more likely they're hurting pretty bad mentally and physically and as a last resort ended up in the er desperate as their insides burn and churn and suicidal thoughts race all the while humiliated and judged by people who should try and show some compassion cause it's true an addict won't get help until THEY want but who's to say that one won't come through your door and you will be the difference between getting resources for the next step and educate them on programs or leaving to stick a needle in their foot to numb the emotional pain and judgements once again?

Specializes in Emergency Room.

Had an alcoholic patient yesterday, the MD order "constant observation: patient eats hand sanitizer if left alone"

Best part of my day!

This guy comes in with abscesses all over his arms and one foot because he used a dirty needle and says "I'm the worlds worst drug user" which I couldn't help but laugh when he said that "So I have to put an IV in this man somehow and get a 24 in the one other foot he didn't try and stick himself in. and of course he needs Vanc so that 24 wasn't gonna last him so the doc put a central line in him. I get report from the day nurse the next shift and she told me that he walks out AMA with his central line in LOL we both couldn't help but laugh about how ridiculous that was and how meditated this whole thing probably was so he could get venous access somewhere

(The above was from Nicole5128. Still can't get the quote thing to work exactly right.)

Please don't mistake this for disrespect as I am enjoying the humor as much as anyone. But, abscesses are frequent, long-term unavoidable but unpredictable problems for addicts. I would imagine multiple abscesses to the extremeties right over the track marks would be pretty shameful, but likely wouldn't go away without a little tx. Perhaps the guy knew he needed treatment but wasn't properly medicated for withdrawal, couldn't take it and left? Addicts would die rather than withdraw. Literally. (Not saying everyone needs to be a detox specialist BUT I have seen hospitals that take days to verify a methadone dose and start the med on people who legit attend clinics. High walkout rate there, and I really wonder if a little more emphasis on comfort-NOT enabling, but appropriate tx of withdrawal-could prevent worsening health problems and ultimate increased treatment cost in a population that is already high risk and often on Medicaid and/or other public assistance.)

Not trying to derail, and I recognize this thread is for humor and not moralizing. But I do feel sad when people aren't just venting but really don't understand that to an addict unmitigated withdrawal is like telling you you will be without nourishment or hydration for the next month or so, while having the worst illness of your life. We ALL see this problem. Lots.

Okay back to the funny stories!

@jdub6 you are completely right! I didn't have him when they put his admitting orders in but i'm sure they didn't put in any sort of methadone for him and that's exactly why he walked out. Makes Sense. I would go crazy too without my nourishment/hydration.

Specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Critical Care.

A flag for me is when people ask for Demerol. My entire nursing career I've never given it once.

Specializes in Emergency.

I always get a laugh out of "i'm going to sue you" when narcotics are denied for the vague, chronic musculosketal complaint.

Had an alcoholic patient yesterday, the MD order "constant observation: patient eats hand sanitizer if left alone"

Best part of my day!

Why not just remove the hand sanitizer from the room?

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