Saturday my husband was brought my squad to MY ER while I was working for a serious avulsion to his ticep involving artery, nerve, tendon, muscle, and tissue. I worked day shift and was oncall for the afternoon shift the same day while they took him for emergency surgery.
My supervisor NEVER voiced concern or even talked to me about whether I would want to go sit in Surgical Family Waiting while my husband was in surgery. Nor did she ever say a word about getting coverage for my oncall or even the next day Sunday (7/3p) when he was to be discharged.
I spent the 2.5 hours while my husband was in surgery calling every nurse that works there to try and cover my shift. By 1030pm that night I quit calling only getting the first 4 covered. Not one time during that whole episode did my PCS ever talk to me. Actually when I approached her about getting the 7-11am covered, she never even looked me in the face when I was talking to her.
I am so hurt and upset at this.....I have worked there 11 years!!!
I bet it would be a different story if it was her husband. God forbid she would put on a pair of scrubs and cover you for a few hours. I had a friend who lost both parents in a matter of 2 weeks and her manager never even said a single word to her. It wasn't until someone said something to her that she did not acknowledge this nurse's parents death that she finally said she was sorry to the nurse. I feel that manager's have to acknowledge that nurses have lives with families and that sometimes **** happens and you need to take care of your family.
I am so sorry for you and for what happened to your husband.
Although it is a manager's responsibility to make sure a department runs smoothly, it should be done with caring, compassion and respect for those that are responsible for the day to day tasks that make the department run. Therefore, your 11 years of service should have been taken into account and YOUR NEEDS accommodated since it was a crisis situation, even if it meant that your supervisor takes over your shift.
Your supervisor's actions were unconscionable, should not be tolerated & (IMHO) abusive. You are entitled to have immediate FMLA leave. You should use the leave to find another job and cite this occurance as your reason for leaving. Family should always come before a job & every manager should have a clear understanding of this, no matter what profession one is in.
My issue is with my superivisor working that night, not my manager. I plan to speak to my manager about this and Tell her my feelings about it. In the end, my feeling is this. I have gone above and beyond for this department in the past.....let me repeat...the past. I will continue to work there as it is a good hospital, it just has a couple of uncaring supervisors. I will no longer participate on commitees, community functions, precepting, bulletin boards, teaching, organizing forums....I will be a staff nurse who goes in on my scheduled days and leaves at the end of my shift. I won't bend over backwards just to have my neck sliced. This has changed the way I respect my supervisor (x2) as well, and I won't hesitate to make them aware of my feelings. I expected more from them.
this is pretty standard fare, at least in my personal experience. that doesn't mean it's right or that you should not be upset. however, just keep in mind that the manager's job is to run the er, not care about her workers or be decent to them. she is not paid for caring about and taking care of her employees. she is paid to please her bosses. harsh reality of life and i'm sorry she is apparently uncaring. i do hope your husband is doing well. btw, yes, i think managers would do well to show care and common decency for their workers, not be stonehearted. but i no longer expect this kindness. i understand that i am a small, non-vital cog in a giant wheel and i am easily replaced -& won't really be missed if i'm gone. yes, i get along well with my boss and coworkers but it's still a job, a business, and i'm just an employee.
in the future, just tell her you need to leave, as you are too upset to safely care for patients. the point is, don't ask. tell.
by all means, get fmla. or just tell your boss you need a couple of days off to care for your husband. i wonder how she will respond to your email. good for you (i hope) for speaking up and letting her know how you feel. i hope there's no negative fallout.
this was my supervisor for that shift, not my manager. my supervisor does not run the er, she is there for nursing support.
Nope. I've worked a few jobs in my time, and some not so glamorous. Never have I felt as disposable as I do in my new profession (that is by management ... not by my co-workers or my patients). I felt far more valued and had greater autonomy when I was working at the local BBQ place, or even the summer I cleaned rooms at a motel!
Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.
Guess what? Family Medical leave should cover you. If you work on a per diem basis you can take it without pay. If you are a benefited employee you can take immediate time off to take care of your husband and even use your sick leave to take care of him. You just get the form from your employeer and have his MD sign it for you. This time is prorated to your total hours per pay period. That why you do not have to deal with getting your shifts covered and none of this counts against you. Sorry your co-workers were so selfish and did not help you out...but you have the law on your side. You do not need to lose a cent of pay and do not for one second feel quilty or rush back out of quilt until things are more settled for you and your hubby.
My issue is with my superivisor working that night, not my manager. I plan to speak to my manager about this and Tell her my feelings about it. In the end, my feeling is this. I have gone above and beyond for this department in the past.....let me repeat...the past. I will continue to work there as it is a good hospital, it just has a couple of uncaring supervisors. I will no longer participate on commitees, community functions, precepting, bulletin boards, teaching, organizing forums....I will be a staff nurse who goes in on my scheduled days and leaves at the end of my shift. I won't bend over backwards just to have my neck sliced. This has changed the way I respect my supervisor (x2) as well, and I won't hesitate to make them aware of my feelings. I expected more from them.
Supervisors are an extension of managment and usually follow the manager's philosophy. I am sure that your supervisor made your manager aware of the situation & your manager is as much at fault over this as the supervisors are. This is why I used the words managers & supervisor interchangeably in my post.
You must have heard the expression that the manager sets the tone. Those that do not act in accordance with higher management are usually let go. If you have 2 supervisors hat are heartless, it is too coincidental that they are not in accordance with management's wishes.
Nope. I’ve worked a few jobs in my time, and some not so glamorous. Never have I felt as disposable as I do in my new profession (that is by management … not by my co-workers or my patients). I felt far more valued and had greater autonomy when I was working at the local BBQ place, or even the summer I cleaned rooms at a motel!
Well said! I've felt the same way since working as an RN, even though frequently working for callins and coworkers who wanted off etc. When they call now they get answer machine or voicemail. I guess as hospitals surge to be more in line with a corporate culture, employees are disposable, and they wonder why retention is such a problem, hello treat people like the humans they are! To the OP best wishes to your husband I hope all is well, get your FMLA paperwork asap as this NM obviously does not have your back.
Here's hoping for a speedy recovery for your hubby.
Right now I have the luxery of working for people who do seem to care. This is not always been the case.
A wise manager/supervisor knows that she needs to treat her people with respect and dignity for the well being of the department.
Your boss apparently didn't get the memo on that, and now the department will have one less cheerleader to fill in when needed. And I don't blame you one bit.
Specializes in Peds Cardiology,Peds Neuro,Pedi ER,PICU, IV Jedi.
trauma,
first off, i hope your husband is recovering well and that you never have to experience this again.
here's my take on a supervisor's/manager's/directors job. their job is to provide me with the things i need to get my job done as effectively as possible. in your case, of course..this would mean helping you find coverage for your shifts so that you could be with your husband during this time, or just being understanding to the immediate situation. this didn't happen, and that's pathetic. my employer has done it for me twice, when my shunt failed and i had to have it replaced rather immediately, and their concern was for me and my family.
you've worked there 11 years, and this woman couldn't look you in the face? yeah, straight to her boss and hr is where i'd head. there's no excuse for that. sure, you're an employee..but you're also human...and there are far too many robots in management positions that forget that completely.
i hear all the time about how staff members are treated in the hospitals,and have seen it myself on numerous occasions and instances like yours are sad illustrations of this: someone doesn't care. and i agree with other posters. tell them, don't ask. "my husband has been in a serious accident and needs surgery immediately. i need to leave." fmla is your friend during his recovery as well. take advantage of it.
You must have heard the expression that the manager sets the tone. Those that do not act in accordance with higher management are usually let go. If you have 2 supervisors hat are heartless, it is too coincidental that they are not in accordance with management's wishes.
That makes sense.....which is exactly why several people (including yours truly) in my office are looking elsewhere for work.
Just because our Executive Director thinks that two RN's can handle a case load of over 700 Clients and ten admissions a week in a neighboring region that we should be able to handle 300 Clients and five referrals a week with ONE RN and one LPN.
Well, the two RN's who quit back-to-back before we were hired obviously couldn't....and that should have told her something. But she doesn't care. And she has seen to it that our Supervisor does her bidding....as she takes off on the "friendly skies" of United (or whatever), for a month-long vacation...while we toil in battlefield conditions.
I now understand why one of the former RN's never came out of her office (except to do visits)...while the other one sat at her desk and cried. They were whipped, beaten and demoralized by an autocratic administration. It's no wonder, then, why they can't keep nurses.....
One problem is expectations. When you gave your news you expected something in return because of your loyalty and the gravity of the situation.
I agree with the poster above, you should have verbalized your needs. "Due to family emergency I will be leaving now, how are you going to cover my shift?" Perhaps she was thinking "there's nothing she can do while he's in surgery and recovery so she may as well work. That's what I'd do because it would keep my mind off the surgery". Or perhaps she flat out didn't care. But don't mind read. Don't put your needs in someone elses mind and expect them to meet them if you don't say out loud what they are.
Also, I hope you talk to her/him in person. Email is so passive-aggressive, and is now suddendly changing your work ethic out of anger. I wouldn't do that. I would however, change my expectations because they will always disappoint.
I'm certainly not saying what they did was right. It certainly showed a lack of concern and compassion.
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cupcake25
44 Posts
I bet it would be a different story if it was her husband. God forbid she would put on a pair of scrubs and cover you for a few hours. I had a friend who lost both parents in a matter of 2 weeks and her manager never even said a single word to her. It wasn't until someone said something to her that she did not acknowledge this nurse's parents death that she finally said she was sorry to the nurse. I feel that manager's have to acknowledge that nurses have lives with families and that sometimes **** happens and you need to take care of your family.