Does this ever make you angry?--VENT

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Apr 12, 2008

I've gotten the same complaints from family and friends who went to college like I did and aren't making a fraction of the money I am, even though I work for a nonprofit and don't earn anything near my old hospital wages. I just laugh..........all the way to the bank.:chuckle

Pediatric Critical Care Columnist · Apr 12, 2008

I don't hear it from my friends but my daughter (not a nurse) gets it all the time from hers. She has one "friend" who has started university four times and still hasn't finished. She lives with her parents, who still pay for her cell phone and car insurance, works at a tanning salon for minimum wage and is planning to start university again in the fall. Meanwhile, DD graduated two years ago with honors, has a government job with the justice department and just bought her first home. She hardly talks to this friend anymore.

RNpandoraRN · Apr 13, 2008

Ok, so most of my friends aren't nurses. I went to a regular university and enjoyed the college experience. All my friends graduated around the same time as me with different degrees, and now are finding it hard to get jobs. Many of them chose to drink and rack up debt during college, dumbing down degrees when they got to a class they couldn't pass. One of my closest friends actually racked up 70 grand in loans and graduated with a degree in sociology. The other day she told me "I should be doing a lot better than this because I graduated college!" She then tells me how she did just as much as me and should be making more than $9 an hour at fed-ex!

Tell her to go back to school or make changes if she is unhappy with her life. I, too, went to a university and had the great college experience but it wasn't until after I graduated that I realized my degree was useless. At the time, I was really pursuing something I enjoyed and saw a career in. I just turned out to be wrong. And unfortunately, I had no choice but to "rack up debt" for my 4 years of college because I was awarded no scholarships out of high school, despite a 3.9 GPA.

Anyway, two years into working a crappy job, barely making ends meet, and being miserable, I decided to go to school for nursing. I couldn't have done this the first time at college because I didn't know back then that nursing is where I belonged. You are fortunate to have known right away what career path to take right away.

It's funny though; now that I think about it, a lot of my friends (not nurses) still make more money than me, even though I have more education than they!

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Apr 13, 2008

A bachelor's is now what a high school diploma was when I was a kid. Unless it's a "hard" degree it doesn't mean much.

I really wouldn't worry about Eeyore. It's always going to be gloomy in her part of the forest because she thinks that others control her destiny, not herself.

llg, PhD, RN · Apr 13, 2008

Yes. People who make bad choices in life rarely take responsibility for those choices. It's common for them to blame everyone but themselves.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a degree in Sociology -- if a Sociologist is what you want to be. However, going into that profession, you have to realize that the best jobs in that field involve research, teaching, consultant work, etc. and require a graduate degree. A Bachelor's Degree in a field like Sociology doesn't get you much in the job market.

If I were the OP, I would probably my friend (the complainer) something like, "What type of job did you expect to get with that BS in Sociology? What did you think your job options would be?" It might seem a little insensitive, but such questions might open a conversation that would lead the friend to start thinking about actual career planning rather than just drifting through life, waiting for the world to start handing her stuff.

vashtee, RN · Apr 13, 2008

Undergraduate degrees in things like sociology, history, english, etc. aren't very useful unless you enjoy learning for its own sake. Unfortunately, many college students weren't told this before they chose their major (or they were, but believed - in the way young people frequently do - it would be different for them).

I'd tell her to go back to school and earn a degree in something more tangible.

SoundofMusic · Apr 13, 2008

Undergraduate degrees in things like sociology, history, english, etc. aren't very useful unless you enjoy learning for its own sake.

Hey, I beg to disagree here. Degrees in history/English, etc. are great degrees to have. It depends what you do with them. English majors are very sought after and can start in about any area. With good communication skills you can do well anywhere -- sales, marketing, etc.

Sometimes it depends on the PERSON as so what type of go-getter they are, how well they can sell themselves, and how well they do at work once hired. Some people are slackers, no matter what degree they earn and have no professionalism. There are a lot of factors there that are unknown.

I wouldn't worry about friends who aren't earning as much -- YOu worked hard to become a nurse and deserve every cent, as do we all who stick with it. Be proud!!

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Apr 13, 2008

I think it may depend on whether you got a degree, or got an education.

My first degree is in English. More importantly, I got an education.

I originally thought I'd teach, but I realized that I wasn't interested in teaching high-school English, nor was I interested in pursuing an advanced degree in English.

Now I'm in nursing. My original education was helpful academically and was personally enriching. I've met people who think that time was "wasted" but I don't, and that's what's important.

As others have said, no one should make the mistake of believing that you walk out with the degree and automatically get handed a great big paycheck with that. It just doesn't work that way. It's what you do with what you've got.

To the OP: this may sound harsh, but I think it may be time to consider getting some new friends. I don't think your sociology- degree-crying-in-her-beer friend fits you very well any more. You're working to move on and up and make something of yourself and your life and she's not. I think this relationship is turning toxic on you, and you need to start putting some distance there.

You aren't getting paid a cent more than you've earned and deserve, and you don't need to have to listen to her pity party. If she wants to do better, then she needs to get off her duff and figure out a way to do it. You've done well, be proud of yourself!!

vashtee, RN · Apr 13, 2008

Hey, I beg to disagree here. Degrees in history/English, etc. are great degrees to have. It depends what you do with them. English majors are very sought after and can start in about any area. With good communication skills you can do well anywhere -- sales, marketing, etc.

True, but you can also get sales and marketing jobs without any higher education at all, depending on how bright you are and how well you can sell yourself.

racing-mom4, BSN, RN · Apr 13, 2008

I made way more money with out a degree as an IT recruiter working for an HR firm than I probably ever will working as a nurse.

I also had to travel, have late night conference calls and wear high heals and panty hose every day.

There is a job for everyone out there. I truly feel blessed that I found nursing.

I agree with the above on maybe having to find new friends.

I always tell my children, "show me your fiends and I will show you your future"

yellow finch, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2008

Honestly? I feel very sorry for the OP's friend. Not in a sympathetic way, however... just bad because she clearly has no direction in life, still thinks she's in college with her drinking, and blames everyone else but herself for the failures in her life. Would I comfort her? No. She needs a little dose of reality and someone to be straightforward with her. No sugarcoating allowed.

OP... don't be afraid to set the record with her... you worked hard for your degree, passed national certification boards, and hold a tremendously responsible position while looking after peoples' lives during acute exacerbations of chronic illnesses and unexpected interruptions in their lives. Not to mention the very unfortunate patients who suddenly fall ill and have to be pulled from work, school, family, etc in order to recover from whatever.

Be honest with your friend. She will benefit from it. I would tell her to go out there and find a job worthy of her skills. Yes, she has an undergraduate degree, but she needs to apply it towards a practical function. If she is unhappy with her choices then it's time to review things and determine if grad school is the next best move towards a promising future.

Don't let her put you down in order to feel better about her failings. Be her friend and support her. And, above all, be direct and honest. She will appreciate it eventually.