Does anyone else feel this way?

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I'm currently a nursing student and while my passion is to help people feel better I find myself going in with mixed feeling towards certain patients. The patients I am referring to have sicknesses caused by smoking and drinking. While I will do everything in my power to help them get better or be as comfortable as possible I find myself not feeling sorry for them. I feel like they got what was coming to them and that they knew the risks involved in using these substances and so only have themselves to blame. Does anyone else feel this way?

I know some may answer that the same should apply to obese and diabetic patients and I believe it doesn't. You need to eat to live, yes moderation is the key but many things can contribute to obesity and you can't not eat; however, you don't have to smoke and you don't have to drink and so it is solely the choice of the person using these substances.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
I think judging is part of being human. But in nursing letting your judgments interfere with patient care would be shameful. I am not saying the OP did this, I am just making a statement.

You never know why someone, for example, has an STD. Maybe they were gang raped when they were 15 while walking home from school. Judgments are part of being human but a person just needs to remember that they only see part of the story as to why someone is in a particular position.

Again I am not saying the OP or anyone on this thread is guilty of anything, just making a generalized statement.

This reminds me of something that I witnessed in a former position. A co-worker with a very strong religious conviction often voiced her disapproval of sexually active teens. One morning she was admitting a 17-year-old who had suffered a missed AB and was coming in for a suction D&C.

The admit nurse took advantage of the occasion to admonish the teen-ager that perhaps the miscarriage was "meant to be" (i.e. God's will) rather than a sorrowful event, due to the girl's having had pre-marital sex. Turns out that the girl had been the victim of a rape. Out of a moral conviction against abortion, she had chosen to carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption.

Hopefully that nurse learned something from her hurtful words and attitude.

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This reminds me of something that I witnessed in a former position. A co-worker with a very strong religious conviction often voiced her disapproval of sexually active teens. One morning she was admitting a 17-year-old who had suffered a missed AB and was coming in for a suction D&C.

The admit nurse took advantage of the occasion to admonish the teen-ager that perhaps the miscarriage was "meant to be" (i.e. God's will) rather than a sorrowful event, due to the girl's having had pre-marital sex. Turns out that the girl had been the victim of a rape. Out of a moral conviction against abortion, she had chosen to carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption.

Hopefully that nurse learned something from her hurtful words and attitude.

wow - that's crazy. i wonder if she did learn anything. probably not - her own child probably had to get knocked up for her to change her tune.

that's why i said karma is crazy. this student who has these feelings about smokers may end up marrying someone who becomes a smoker or drinker (or dipper?) or even have a child who does one, both, or maybe worse. it's sad, but is usually takes something awful that hits close to home before people will change their attitudes.

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Specializes in MR/DD.
roser13

However you do not get lung cancer from one cigarette

You are wrong, In fact you can get lung cancer from ZERO cigarettes

You need to understand that people do things for many different reasons, and the reasons are none of your business.

Maybe the alcoholic you have no compassion for, started drinking at a young age when he was being beaten, Maybe a year ago he quit drinking.

Everyone takes risks knowing that the outcome could be dangerous.

To be a good nurse you must have compassion for each patient you care for or you will never make it. It is not your job to approve of your patients lifestyle choices or judge them.

I promise you that if you continue to make uneducated judgments against your patients you are going to end up dreading your job.

Illness is a part of life, not a punishment.

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I don't think it is "crazy" or "scary" that the OP feels this way.

What is scary is that some people feel this way, embrace it, never question it, and let it affect their patient care.

Kudos to the OP for actually examining her feelings and being honest.

She sounds like a thoughtful person who will be mindful to NOT let personal bias affect nursing care.

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I think this is a great site for support from fellow nurses, but sometimes reading these comments really annoys me. People try to act like they're saints. "You should not be a nurse if you can't be compassionate." "If you're going to judge, find another career." "I really hope YOURE not my nurse some day." Come on people, she has a right to her opinion. She said it doesn't affect the way she treats people, and I'm sure she means it. I worked with patients for many years and even though most of them made me go nuts and want to pull my hair out, I was always polite and kind. Just because she's a nurse, doesn't mean she can't have an opinion. I'm not a nurse yet, but I guarantee you I would feel the same toward junkies and alcoholics (maybe not smokers, because it's a bad way to go).

So I agree with you, OP. You can definitely feel this way and still be a great nurse.

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Oh and PS: addiction is NOT a disease. I really hate when people say that. If only a cancer patient can go to rehab and do group therapy and be cured. PLEASE!

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Specializes in PACU.

I see a lot of people trying to excuse lousy behavior in this thread. Personal responsibility is important. Frankly, I have severe concerns for people who can see people who've abused their bodies and can't think "wow, that was stupid." Sure, treat the person with dignity and courtesy, but don't deny yourself the ability to reason cause and effect.

As a teen I took HORRIBLE care of my teeth. It seems like half of my mouth is now filling material, I spent thousands of dollars out of pocket on dental care. I have severe sensitivity to cold. Do I expect my dentist to feel bad for me? Nope, I expect him to tell me what I can do to improve my dental health and to provide quality dental care. I don't blame my parents or someone else, I blame myself. It is the same with other systems.

The assumption that quality nursing care has to come from some deep love of the patient or some such is erroneous. You can think someone is reaping what they've sown and still provide quality care. So long as you maintain your professional composure the patient really doesn't give a darn what you think so long as you're polite and meet their needs.

A few of the holier than thou types would need to get their houses burglarized and get kicked in their faces by A/O x4 patients to realize patients are not all innocent bunnies. The world is a dangerous place filled with lousy people. Someone, who someday will be a patient somewhere, siphoned the gasoline out of my truck the other day while it was parked in my driveway.

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Oh and PS: addiction is NOT a disease. I really hate when people say that. If only a cancer patient can go to rehab and do group therapy and be cured. PLEASE!

So, somehow the cellular biology which triggers cancer is more real than the neurobiology that predisposes a person to addiction? (because there is a neurbiological difference even before an addict is first exposed to whatever it is they become addicted to)

Just because they don't have a medical treatment for a disease, doesn't negate that it is a disease.

Oh, and rehab doesn't "cure" a patient from an addiction. An alcoholic will always be an alcoholic. It just teaches them how to manage their disease.

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

My hat's off to the OP for acknowledging feelings and thoughts that are less than saintly. To recognize that her thoughts might be reflected in her care, and have the character to ask for assistance in changing them.

Unfortunately the OP has fallen victim to the whole judge and judgement debate that is rampant on allnurses.

All of us here, without exception would judge that smoking, drinking, and drug addiction is a bad thing.

All of us here, without exception would judge that eating to obesity is a bad thing.

The passing judgement comes into play, when you treat the pt who engages in such activities as less than those who do not.

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Maybe nursing is not for you. Don't mean to sound harsh but having empathy is a huge part of nursing.

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So, somehow the cellular biology which triggers cancer is more real than the neurobiology that predisposes a person to addiction? (because there is a neurbiological difference even before an addict is first exposed to whatever it is they become addicted to)

Just because they don't have a medical treatment for a disease, doesn't negate that it is a disease.

Oh, and rehab doesn't "cure" a patient from an addiction. An alcoholic will always be an alcoholic. It just teaches them how to manage their disease.

I've heard it all before. Still think it's BS. I have 2 family members who are addicts that feed me these excuses daily. I still wouldn't call it a disease. Does it suck? Yes. Do I hope all addicts can be "cured" and never look back? Of course. My heart goes out to them. But it's not a disease.

I do however agree with you that there may be a genetic predisposition to addiction, but it's insulting to people who have a real disease to call it that.

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I've heard it all before. Still think it's BS. I have 2 family members who are addicts that feed me these excuses daily. I still wouldn't call it a disease. Does it suck? Yes. Do I hope all addicts can be "cured" and never look back? Of course. My heart goes out to them. But it's not a disease.

I do however agree with you that there may be a genetic predisposition to addiction, but it's insulting to people who have a real disease to call it that.

Well, whether you agree or not, it is considered a disease.

But in your mind, what are the criteria for a disease?

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