Does anyone else feel like there is too much gossip going on?

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Although I do not have that much experience with the activities that go on at my hospital (because I am a nursing student), I feel like I am back in highschool again. I am basically an observer, trying to learn how to act when I get out in the "real world" of nursing. What I have seen, however, is a lot of gossiping from the nursing staff. Everytime one nurse leaves, it is like the nurses regress to teenagers and begin bashing her. I feel like this is extremely unprofessional, and am rather worried about how patient care is affected by this. Has anyone else experienced this?

Specializes in Ortho, Med surg and L&D.
:uhoh3: i have to reply to this again. i think this whole gossiping thing is outrageous. for the last month, i've been feeling "picked on" by a senior nurse...

...all i know is, it's a horrible feeling to realize that some people have to think of me in a negative way. :imbar don't like that feeling.

hello nurse_clown,

i am sorry that you are going through this. i guess this is also the bad part of gossip is that it is a tactic used in bullying. one of the moderators is very good about posting anti-bullying information, please check into some of the bully nurse threads that are around.

if you feel like you are being picked on, it may very likely be a bully in action. it is as if they must have a target to deflect all of their feelings of inadequacy upon. take heart, it is most likely because you are a very kind, admirable and outstanding person that this bully is working to hurt you.

best of luck!

gen

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.

I usually get up and just leave OR I change the topic for them to something benign.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

all i know is, it's a horrible feeling to realize that some people have to think of me in a negative way. :imbar don't like that feeling. [/size]

i know the feeling well. i've always been a people pleaser (lots of nurses are, kind of fits the personality), wanting people to like me and accept me. i learned that this isn't always going to happen. i especially learned as a charge nurse that some people are going to be very unhappy with me and even loath me. i've been through some hard times as a charge nurse with gossip.

i know if i can sleep at night that i've done the best job that i could do, that i've strived to do no harm, that i've treated my coworkers with respect, then what they think of me is not my concern.

but i'd be lying if when i hear gossip about myself it doesn't sting. it does. but i'm certainly not devasted and i can process it in a matter of minutes, rather than stew all day. :)

there's there's always the "well, if they're talking about me, at least they're leaving somone else alone." :)

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Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.

Yup. It's at the job I'm leaving....IN 43 MORE DAYS.....woo hoo! It's REALLY REALLY bad there. Back stabbing....extreme childish behavior by many, especially two team leaders. Both of these team leaders have such a bad reputation for being rude and back stabbing. No one even has to say their names....they're that well known! I made the comment that the gossiping and back stabbing was so bad and a more experienced nurse laughed it off saying, 'that's because we're all women and when you get a bunch of women together, that's what happens.' What a cop out. :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.

I was reading the other posts on this thread...I feel so sorry for the bullies. How ugly that the feel on the inside. The very things that they pick on you is how they feel about themselves. I do something new at work now. I have a bully at work too. I'm really tall and I guess she thinks she is too. I weigh in at 220. Amazon woman here...He he....I don't tolerate bullies too well. At work, my new thing is, I walk away from our unit bully (team leader). She tries to pick fights. When she can't find fault with my work, she moves in on something else. She stands real close to me and tries to intimidate me. Being an ex cop, I don't stand for it and usually stand up towering a good foot over her and tell her to leave me alone. If she doesn't, I remind her that I'm too busy for her politics and leave the room. She'll try to follow and I keep moving. I did complain on her and said that I'm simply too busy to deal with her politics and when she gets on a role, she interfers with my patient care. I'm going to continue to walk away from her. If it's a patient problem, I'll take it from her. Anything outside that realm, she's on her own. Too bad it too me 11 months of nursing to figure that out.

:rolleyes:

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We definitely have a problem with this on our unit with a few nurses. There are nights when some of them basically gossip about every other nurse, even the ones that are their "friends." These people will be the first to judge every action and intervention of a nurse regarding a patient, but the last to offer help or support. I'm a newer nurse and have at times felt the environment hostile toward me (and other new nurses) and overheard the comments that I must "learn to sink or swim on my own." Like I said, they will not offer help or advice, but will happily sit back and judge and talk about everything I did. I'm desperately trying to work through this and get over the sick feeling it gives me in my stomach when I go into work. I know I need to develop thicker skin, but for now it hurts and is very frustrating. Back to the point of this thread, I do think there is too much gossip. It seems to be an infectious process and spreads quickly. I personally try not to engage in the gossip, and I do see the impact it has on the working climate.

Thanks for letting me vent. The topic hit a little too close to my fresh wounds. :o

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To address the student directly in this-- you are right! It does appear that the "gossip mill" is like you are in highschool. I am also a "newer nurse", 30 years old, but I have 3 children and my oldest is 16. (not biological but legally ours) and I feel like my son is more mature and respectful than some of the folks that I encounter. The issue though is what to do and how to ignore it if/when it happens to you. When the gossip is NOT about me and a nurse starts it with me, I just tell them that I do not know who or what she is talking about (because 99.9% of the time I really do not know what/who they are talking about) and I cut the person off by not saying anything in a gossip nature back. The information that I was told never leaves my mouth. The best that I can figure is that I am never going to change some of these nurses and the way that they act, but I can certainly break the cycle at me and not engage in it. NOW, if you find out that they are gossiping about you and you are uncomfortable... I have no good answer. :uhoh21: I am still trying to find that one out for myself, hopefully some folks on this site will help us out.

Good luck to you.

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I usually get up and just leave OR I change the topic for them to something benign.

That's what I do too. I have never found a job where there are no gossips. In fact, at my last job and my present job they had to have a "special staff Meeting" as the gossip had gotten so bad.:angryfire It's totally unprofessional.:angryfire One of the "gossips" is always trying to present herself as a "wonderful loving Christian." Sorry if she was a "Real Christian" she wouldn't engage in gossip period.:uhoh3:

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Specializes in LTC and MED-SURG.

You sound like me when I first got out of high school many, many years ago. I thought the "adult" world would be different. What you describe is the case in all fields, not just nursing and definitely not just women. But as many of the posters have said, you should hold to your standards, regardless of what you see and hear.

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