We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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During a sterile insertion of a central line at the bedside the doc had me insert an ultrasound probe into a sterile sleeve. (This was my first time assisting with a bedside procedure). I commented that the sleeve was like a giant condom. Doc laughed and said "This coming from the white girl who's never seen a giant condom!" I was so embarrassed!
When I was scrubbed in with a OBGYN for a C-section.. After we draped the pt the Dr said: OK now open the book to page 3 to see where we get started... Oh my word, we laughed and laughed. The pt was not quite as amused though.
Working at a SNF, doing rounds with the physician when we get to a particularly difficult elderly man without family. Physician looks at me and states, "he's a member of the NFL." I look at him incredulously and state, "yeah right." To which he replies in a very deadpan manner, "No Friends Left." Took me completely off guard stuck somewhere between offended and amused.
I was assisting a resident doctor Who is doing a pelvic exam on a Spanish-speaking patient. The resident wasn't completely fluent in Spanish but attempted to tell the patient that she was going to use her fingers to check her cervix. It didn't quite come out like that. What the doctor had told her in Spanish was "I'm going to put my teeth on your cervix". The patient jump off the table. The resident was so confused. We had to tell her what she had said. She was so embarrassed!!!
ER docs... "Well, you still have 8 other fingers" to patient with fingers mangled or "Well, I hope you caught some fish" to a patient with large fishing hook to eyelid, lip/mouth, cheek.
I work in the OR and we use cement when doing total joints. After inserting the implants we have to wait for the cement to set before we can continue. While we were waiting the surgeon told me it like it if I would hold it in my hand and play with it until it got hard. I knew he meant the cement but it was pretty funny to all of us.
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shaynes513
1 Post
During a sterile insertion of a central line at the bedside the doc had me insert an ultrasound probe into a sterile sleeve. (This was my first time assisting with a bedside procedure). I commented that the sleeve was like a giant condom. Doc laughed and said "This coming from the white girl who's never seen a giant condom!" I was so embarrassed!