This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
Whew, it was you Tweety. I was bracing myself for yet another "Most of the nurses I work with are great but there's one who's really mean...why do nurses eat their young?" threads.
Sadly, we have no young on my unit, and all of us are older and tough from previously working in critical care or ED. Our teeth aren't strong enough to bite into each other!
While its a nice article, as you have mentioned before, Tweety, I agree to disagree.
No problem. Are you saying you eat your young?
I realize that to be a new nurse is a tough and sometimes demoralizing situation, even with supportive nurses. I also realize that sometimes new grads feel like they are "thrown to the wolves" after orientation. It's a tough and demanding time those first few months/years.
This article sums up an unfortunate truth about hman nature in general. We tend to make a lot of noise about things we don't like. We are no where near as vocal when we are happy and satisfied.
I have, for the last several years, made it a point to be as dedicated to praising the good as I am about decrying the bad. I make an effort to tell managers and supervisors about employees who took care of me well. They are sometimes so stunned they don't know what to say, but every single one of them (as well as the the praiseworthy employee) has been thankful for the input.
When I returned to nursing after a couple of years off, I took a refresher course and had a preceptor on the ortho/neuro unit where I was placed. She was excellent. Good at giving direction. Able to assess my skill level and challenge me out of my comfort zone without expecting too much of me. Humorous and wise. I loved working with her.
When I started by current job--in a specialty where I had never worked before--I had one main preceptor and two back-ups. All three were dedicated and kind. I never got the feeling that I was bugging them when I asked questions. They looked out for me and when I made mistakes or didn't anticipate something properly, they gave correction that preserved my fragile bud of confidence.
I was extremely blessed by these women who helped nurture me and grow me into the nurse I am today.
All this talk of experienced nurses eating their young and young nurses coming in with attitude and entitlement makes me sad.
We have so much to offer each other, but negative expectations should not be at the top of the list.
I have a theory that this ongoing lament shows up so starkly in nursing because of the job itself. The expectation is that nurses are nurturing and comforting and kind-hearted, so it stands out when they are stressed and understaffed and perhaps less than warm and fuzzy. You don't hear about stock brokers or lawyers eating their young. Okay, you do, but that's what everyone expects. We're pink teddy bears, and they are sharks. When we engage in even a little snarkiness, it gets skywriting and billboards while they get patted on the back and respected as being tough competitors.
Generalizations rarely help. I'd rather hear a specific instance and let it be just that--one specific instance. I'll gladly lend an ear to someone complaining that another nurse bit her head off. But my eyes start to glaze over when I hear about nurses gobbling one another up.
Thanks a million, Tweety, for finding and sharing this article.
Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.
Please note that by moderator concensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
Oh thank God already. I'm so tired of this discussion. :deadhorse
my friend is going back to school to finish her bsn. the reason she is doing this is to get out of nursing and get her masters, thus changing her career and her life. the nurses in her classes talk about how the profession must do all it can to keep nurses in nursing, but they know she is getting out of nursing. do you think one class mate has done anything to keep her in nursing? she is a straight a student, and even the professors give her the cold shoulder.
the retention thing is all a bunch of talk. nurses seem to look for things in other nurses just to use it against them, the whole time nurses are only hurting themselves.
so when anyone complains about not having enough nurses, please stop talking and just keep working like a dog and growing more and more resentful.
we humans teach people how to treat us, and if you’re treating others like dirt, expect the same to happen to you.
if you as a nurse want respect treat others with respect.
if there are not enough nurses to care for the patients its nurslings fault, there is no one else to blame.
SueBee, if I were an instructor and there was a student taking up a spot only to get their Masters in another profession and wasn't committed to nursing, I would probably put my efforts and concentration on those students with nursing as their goal. Not that I wouldn't try to find out why she's doing this and perhaps change her mind, but I would encourage to choose another major to get a Bachelor's in if she has no intention of being a nurse. Doesn't make much sense to me to continue on. To each his/her own I guess.
There are many dynamics that are part of the nursing shortage besides how we treat each other. Economics, management, family obligations, retiring and aging nurses, lack of instructors willing to accept low pay, etc. It's not just nurses mistreating nurses. I find for the most part nurses are very supportive and understanding of what we go through.
I am in total agreement with this article. Up to this point in my nursing career, I've had a very positive experience. I think I was very fortunate to precept with nuturing nurses who have a love of teaching. All too often we focus on the negative. I really think that the "Nurses eat their young" phrase lowers the professional standard of our profession. I don't hear of doctors, lawyers, or accountants etc... going on about how they eat their young. I'm sure it happens, but there's no phrase coined about it. No, every day isn't perfect, neither am I or my coworkers, but I love what I do.
I too had many positive experiences with preceptors, mentors, etc. along the way. and i have rarely witnessed otherwise. usually, when there was a "bad experience", it was b/c the new nurse just wasn't cut out for that particular type of nursing.
the phrase "eat their young" only legitimizes a few rare bullies to bully.
The experienced nurse sometimes isn't given a choice or even much warning about precepting. Not everyone is cut out to teach, no matter how good they might be at what they do. Most places give some kind of compensation for taking on a newbie, but a few do not, and that can create resentment. Then there are nurses who might be going through a stressful time that has nothing to do with work. Any other time, they'd be great, but for the moment, they're preoccupied. And there are a handful that are . . . well . . . . a handful. They aren't necessarily bad nurses--in fact, some are quite good--but their interpersonal skills are less than sterling. Unfortunately, some nurse managers are of the opinion that everyone has to take a turn at precepting--a philosophy that really isn't helpful to anyone involved.
The new nurses bring their own issues to the mix. Some are so terrified and timid that they hang back and appear aloof or lazy. A rare few are lazy. Some come off like they know everything or like the seasoned nurse is out of the loop while she, the newbie, is up on the latest and greatest. Some orientees are ultimately not suited to the unit they've chosen and Mother Theresa herself wouldn't be able to help them navigate the waters.
Then there are people, old and new alike, who are just fine individually, but they rub each other the wrong way. Different learning styles, personality conflicts, variations in approach, all kinds of wrinkles can mess up a preceptorship experience. No blame on anyone--it's just not a workable combination.
Communication can solve many problems. Both before the orientation begins and regularly throughout the learning experience. If there appear to be problems that don't lend themselves to ready solutions, the nurse manager needs to be consulted and may have to make other arrangements.
Most experienced nurses are willing and able to help new nurses learn the ropes and develop both their skills and their confidence levels. Most orientees are excited and willing to learn.
There are rare bad apples in every walk of life and nursing is no exception. The most common mistake I see involving this topic is to allow the behavior of a few dysfunctional people (on either end of the equation) to morph into a generalization and an on-going negative expectation that is sometimes presented to others as fact.
We owe it to each other and to the nurses behind us on the path to separate bad behavior from the role of being a nurse. Creepy people are creepy people, no matter what their title or position. It has far less to do with being a nurse than with being an unhappy human being in general.
To anyone who is unhappy in their orientation, please connect with your preceptor and/or nurse manager. Be open to suggestions. If you aren't clear about the expectations, ask. If you're dissatisfied in some way, please do what you can to determine where the problems lie and do what you can to improve the situation. Try not to take personally that which isn't. Keep your focus on learning your new job and be prepared and conscientious about your performance. If there are still difficulties, communicate further. Once in a while, an orientee finds herself in a position where she just has to endure the learning period until it's officially over. Fortunately, that's rare.
Don't forget that you can learn from other nurses on the unit. Seek out those who seem friendly and ask questions. Let others know you want to view/attempt a particular procedure and ask if they will let you know when they have such an opportunity available.
Finally, each of us, old or new, has the obligation and the opportunity to look for good things, to praise an honest effort, to build up and encourage, to offer a bit of caring as a kind and decent human being. For every horror story you are tempted to tell, please try to pass on two good things.
The handful of bullies should not be allowed to represent the rest of us.
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reesern63, RN
267 Posts
Whew, it was you Tweety. I was bracing myself for yet another "Most of the nurses I work with are great but there's one who's really mean...why do nurses eat their young?" threads.
Sadly, we have no young on my unit, and all of us are older and tough from previously working in critical care or ED. Our teeth aren't strong enough to bite into each other!