This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
Specializes in Critical Care, Cardiothoracics, VADs.
You can't always avoid retaliation, but if there are people around that are that nasty, chances are they have a reputation for it and i would then involve my employers.
As a start, in dealing with a "bully", I would calmly but firmly inform them that although I was inexperienced, I expected to be shown the same amount of respect as I was demonstrating to them. I would explain that I was eager to learn, and would like to take advantage of their experience, but that I absolutely was not going to be anyone's whipping post, and that I would not hesitate to take official action if they intended on making my life miserable.
99% of the time, bullies back down when confronted, because they are cowards. If they still gave me a hard time after that, I would follow through on my threat, and document examples of their behaviour and advise management. The only reason these bullies get away with it is because new grads (and women) do not want to "make a scene"
Here's a question -- as a new grad or a nursing student, how do you tactfully handle a situation where someone is "eating you"?
Everyone says not to take B.S., but nobody explains how. If you stand up to these people, it may bite you in the lunar side. So how do you "not take the B.S." AND avoid retaliation?
When I figure this one out, I will write a book, make my million, and send some to you! I feel for you!
Thank you, Chadash and Augigi! I've always had trouble with this. The trick seems to be finding a balance between firmness and lightness -- that is, standing up for yourself, but diffusing the conflict.
After all, you can't throw job after job out the window because you get in a fight with someone, and you're going to have to see these people the next day. People will often deny they are being argumentative or that they are attacking you, and claim that you are being overly sensitive, or that you're reading into it, or that it's your problem.
Hmmm...I'm a 44-year-old-graduating-in-two-months ADN student and at my last rotation (on Friday), I had a 20-something CHARGE Nurse throw a big wad of paper at me in report and laugh. The day before a 20-something male RN told me that students from my school need to learn how to "shut their big mouths" this was while I was silently removing my papers so he could sit down (for some reason, where ever I put my papers down, is where he wanted to sit). I don't know if these people are just ignorant or rude or immature or what...but I experience extreme disrespect at a certain hospital we do rotations at (out of two) on a regular basis. These are working nurses at a major hospital that I'm referring to. Funny...this hospital is always trying to recruit nurses from our school...makes you wonder.
Hmmm...I'm a 44-year-old-graduating-in-two-months ADN student and at my last rotation (on Friday), I had a 20-something CHARGE Nurse throw a big wad of paper at me in report and laugh. The day before a 20-something male RN told me that students from my school need to learn how to "shut their big mouths" this was while I was silently removing my papers so he could sit down (for some reason, where ever I put my papers down, is where he wanted to sit). I don't know if these people are just ignorant or rude or immature or what...but I experience extreme disrespect at a certain hospital we do rotations at (out of two) on a regular basis. These are working nurses at a major hospital that I'm referring to. Funny...this hospital is always trying to recruit nurses from our school...makes you wonder.
Wow! Wonder what sets the tone in some organizations as to what is acceptable and what is not. It seems like there should be an attitude that promotes intelligent discourse, education and pride in a job well done. But KellyPatty, do you think we are just old fashioned?
Wisdom comes from strange places, and I discovered why nurses eat their young from a drunk! A resident was trying to determine if the patient was confabulating and asked "why do helicopters eat their young?" The patient replied that it was a matter of national security and he'd have to kill us if he told us, and went on for several minutes with such confabulation.
Then he finished with a line I'll never forget because it applies to nurses too; "BESIDES, THEY'RE MORE TENDER WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG!"
Wow, I work in a large teaching facility in Houston. It is understood, gernerally that students of all sorts will be intergrated in our daily routine. We do sometimes are impatient but I don't believe rude. I wonder if the nurses you have come in contact with are themselves being treated in such a manner.
When I started as a CNA at my last job, I had never been a CNA period. As expected, I was a bit slow even after orientation due to the order that I couldn't lift anyone by myself until I got to know the residents. This quickly earned me as a reputation as being lazy and slow, even though I'd skip lunch breaks in order to try to catch up. One day, the ADON (whose nickname is Sheila Jackson Lee amongst the staff) called me in and accused me of not doing my work, never mind the fact that you can always find CNAs who finish quickly, talk on their cell phones, and page through magazines whose residents are never wiped down when getting changed and are never checked. She made me do orientation again, and if I tried to report a dangerous situation to her, she'd smirk at me and tell me that she couldn't believe the stories that I'd tell to get out of doing my work. I talked to one of the nurses who actually saw my work efforts, and she said that I was being hazed by the ADON because I took my job seriously and tried to improve rather than give her attitude and threaten to leave the job like most people did. After that, each time I was called into her office and faced a barrage of circumstancial evidance-based accusations, I tried to tactfully state that I'd never skimp care and that I did do my work, but trying to stick up for myself only added fuel to the fire, so I quit rather than risk getting fired or losing my license. Many people have left because of her, many of them white. On my last day at the job, I heard from several CNAs, black and white alike, that she does practice racial favoritism. I don't regret my decision even though I'm having trouble finding a new job.
It's a tough job, and any lag puts extra strain on others, laziness or not, is going to create more stress and friction. New nurses aren't psychic and are in a catch-22. If they ask questions, they're stupid, annoying, and dependent. If they don't ask questions, they're dangeous and stupid. This is a great opportunity for others who don't want others to notice their own work. Because of this, I've taken efforts to be nice to new staff and offer advice whenever needed.
When I started as a CNA at my last job, I had never been a CNA period. As expected, I was a bit slow even after orientation due to the order that I couldn't lift anyone by myself until I got to know the residents. This quickly earned me as a reputation as being lazy and slow, even though I'd skip lunch breaks in order to try to catch up. One day, the ADON (whose nickname is Sheila Jackson Lee amongst the staff) called me in and accused me of not doing my work, never mind the fact that you can always find CNAs who finish quickly, talk on their cell phones, and page through magazines whose residents are never wiped down when getting changed and are never checked. She made me do orientation again, and if I tried to report a dangerous situation to her, she'd smirk at me and tell me that she couldn't believe the stories that I'd tell to get out of doing my work. I talked to one of the nurses who actually saw my work efforts, and she said that I was being hazed by the ADON because I took my job seriously and tried to improve rather than give her attitude and threaten to leave the job like most people did. After that, each time I was called into her office and faced a barrage of circumstancial evidance-based accusations, I tried to tactfully state that I'd never skimp care and that I did do my work, but trying to stick up for myself only added fuel to the fire, so I quit rather than risk getting fired or losing my license. Many people have left because of her, many of them white. On my last day at the job, I heard from several CNAs, black and white alike, that she does practice racial favoritism. I don't regret my decision even though I'm having trouble finding a new job.
It's a tough job, and any lag puts extra strain on others, laziness or not, is going to create more stress and friction. New nurses aren't psychic and are in a catch-22. If they ask questions, they're stupid, annoying, and dependent. If they don't ask questions, they're dangeous and stupid. This is a great opportunity for others who don't want others to notice their own work. Because of this, I've taken efforts to be nice to new staff and offer advice whenever needed.
I guess things like this make me wonder, what the heck is the DONs goal in managing this way? If you want to produce a high turn over rate, NA's with attitude, and a lower standard of patient care, well by golly, this is the recipe for success!
That's what happens when management works like customer service reps. Nurses have been written up for things like being accused for not saying goodbye to family members.
augigi, CNS
1,366 Posts
You can't always avoid retaliation, but if there are people around that are that nasty, chances are they have a reputation for it and i would then involve my employers.
As a start, in dealing with a "bully", I would calmly but firmly inform them that although I was inexperienced, I expected to be shown the same amount of respect as I was demonstrating to them. I would explain that I was eager to learn, and would like to take advantage of their experience, but that I absolutely was not going to be anyone's whipping post, and that I would not hesitate to take official action if they intended on making my life miserable.
99% of the time, bullies back down when confronted, because they are cowards. If they still gave me a hard time after that, I would follow through on my threat, and document examples of their behaviour and advise management. The only reason these bullies get away with it is because new grads (and women) do not want to "make a scene"