Do I need a new attitude, a new job, or a new career?

rearviewmirror, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2018

New attitude would be good, but new job would be better, yet new career would be best. I would have done engineering if I could back; now I have a family so that's not an option. I did change my miserable situation by getting a non-bedside job at insurance; it isn't for everyone. I never found any fulfillment at the bedside since I thought I was enabling the screwed up system in the ER and people who flock to it. The bad (drug addicts, narcotic seekers, the entitled, the never-payers, administration injustice) outweighed the good (true traumas, the grateful, people who really needed help). I changed my misery by switching over to non-bedside position at insurance company, and I get better pay, all weekends and holidays, and no one acting nonsense. I highly recommend you getting off the bedside.

KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN · Jun 6, 2018

You need to think long and hard on what exactly you mean as "doing a good job as a nurse" and what exactly makes you happy in life.

Not every nurse wants or thinks as of important to "truly connect with patients and their families". Worse still, in ICU it can be impossible, or do g so can be detrimental for your own mental health. So, you might benefit from a new job or new attitude.

I would advice you to sit down and write 10 things you absolutely want in your professional life and 1, which you absolutely hate. Just keep them real enough ("I want to work in the office when I feel like it, get 6-hundreds/year and never saw another living soul anymore" probably won't help that much). Play from the results :)

Professional identity crisis in nursing is an almost totally neglected area. Hold on, you're not alone :)

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jun 6, 2018

Please expand on "truly connecting".

carolelainern, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2018

Thanks for your input, everyone! By "connecting ", I mean those nurses who are able to support the emotional needs of patients and families in crisis; who are able to make a patient feel at ease, make them laugh, make them feel safe and supported, get to know them. I have a lot of trouble shaking the feeling that my patients would generally be better off with someone else as their nurse.

cleback · Jun 7, 2018

Thanks for your input, everyone! By "connecting ", I mean those nurses who are able to support the emotional needs of patients and families in crisis; who are able to make a patient feel at ease, make them laugh, make them feel safe and supported, get to know them. I have a lot of trouble shaking the feeling that my patients would generally be better off with someone else as their nurse.

That may get better as you gain confidence in your current job. It was over a year at my acute care job when a with-it, noncreepy patient wanted to hug me goodbye. Once you get in your groove, it will be easier to be present with others.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 7, 2018

I've been a nurse over 3 years. I worked in inpatient orthopedics; then a cardiovascular stepdown unit; now Trauma/Neuro ICU for the last 9 months. I feel like I'm in a nonstop identity crisis. I realize that ICU takes some getting used to, but I leave work every day so mentally exhausted, and I almost never feel like I've done a good job. I have difficulty truly connecting to my patients and their families, or I feel like I do; I'm not sure how my coworkers see me. I'm not sure if I am in the wrong specialty, or the wrong field altogether, or if I just need to give this job some more time. I'd just like to be happy at work, at least some of the time, and feel like I might maybe be doing a decent job or making some slight difference. I'd like to hear from anyone else who's had similar experiences, who has found their way to a position they enjoy and find rewarding; or who stuck it out, and are glad they did.

You've had three jobs in three years, and you haven't even been in this job for a year yet. Give it some time. It takes about a year to become comfortable in a job, about two years to become competent. Being happy at works comes after you become competent.

If you're not comfortable or competent with your job, it's going to be difficult to connect to patients and their families. You're probably going to be coming up on a one year eval in a few months. Do you know who is going to be evaluating you? Take the time to connect with that person and ask how they think you're progressing and if there is anything you need to work on. Don't expect an immediate answer -- give them some time to think about it and get back to you. This will give you some idea what your coworkers think of you, give you something to work on ahead of your yearly review and give the evaluator a good impression of your work ethic and willingness to change your practice if needed.

The first year of any job is rough. Give it time.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Jun 8, 2018

I second what Ruby Vee said.

It sounds like you are feeling low confidence in yourself. Low confidence improves with time and experience.

I love that you want to connect better with your patients. I recommend looking up Motivational Interviewing as a means to getting a better connection.

HeySis, BSN, RN · Jun 8, 2018

Is there someone that you work with that you would like to emulate? Someone that has been friendly? A unit trainer/educator?

I would recommend finding a mentor that can give you feedback, you are probably doing better then you realize.

1. You haven't said anything about the nuts and bolts of the job, there's no "I don't get it" or "I keep making mistakes". If that is true then you are in a good spot for someone with 9 months of experience, you have the basic job skills and are keeping your patients safe and giving the prescribed care. Kudos to you!

2. You never said your co-workers are compelling about you... and more importantly you are nt complaining or blaming your co-workers. So the "usual" need for an "attitude adjustment" doesn't seem to be there.

3. The fact that you want to connect and make sure your patients are receiving not just satisfactory care, but compassionate care, speaks volumes about you.

So find a mentor, watch how they interact with patients and families and see if theres anything there you'd like to incorporate into your style. Ask for feedback, both in your nursing and people skills.

And remember, if you like the unit you are on, to give yourself time. Interacting with people becomes easier as the job becomes ingrained and you start to do and look for certain signs and symptoms without really having to think about it. It becomes easier to carry on a conversation while doing those things. An example... I work PACU, I notice skin color, neck size and respiratory effort on most people now... I do it subconsciously even and find myself thinking, I bet that person has OSA (obstructive sleep apnea). When you start doing this, in the line at the grocery store... you realize this has become so ingrained you start to have the muscle memory of how to deal with it (In PACU it's all about those airways, and I'll lean over and do a jaw thrust without making the mental note to do it) you find you'll be able to talk or explain things to patents and families while you are performing tasks. Then those connections are easier. It's harder when they are two separate things (tasks vs connections). But if you do that tasks right... your patients live on to make thier own connections, and never beat yourself up for that.