Do all healthcare workers eventually become HARD?

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Has their compassion completely left them or are they more selective with it? What did it take for you to go from the fresh new nurse to the take no BS nurse?

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Specializes in Cardiology.

I gotta say Im a little more selective nowadays.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Tele, PH, CM.

Experience teaches you to be more assertive and affirmative, not necessarily "hard".

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As I get older I am quicker to spot manipulation. Younger me would have been more likely to believe an unlikely 'poor me" story. Younger me was more eager to be liked and slower to spot BS.

That doesn't make me hard. I have boundaries and realize that the patient's personal problems belong to them, not my problem to solve. You can't save someone who isn't going to try to save themselves.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 6/19/2020 at 6:16 AM, DesiDani said:

What did it take for you to go from the fresh new nurse to the take no BS nurse?

When I learned to deal with my Messiah Complex and realized RNperdiem's concept.

4 hours ago, RNperdiem said:

You can't save someone who isn't going to try to save themselves.

I tended to invest more in those who invested in themselves, going as far as telling some patients, "Your safety is my only responsibility. If you work with me, I'll work with you".

Taking it a step further, I have found that I have more energy and have returned to being a more positive person with not working in the field the past few months.

I had fears of being a cynical old man until the end of my days. Not so. I feel and believe that I am back to being more even-keeled.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.

Yes, I wouldn't say hard but less naive and more realistic. Maybe a little jaded but hopefully not. I always provide education and support to my patients. I work with many pts struggling with substance abuse and the subsequent health problems it causes. I educate them on what is happening and may happen, treatment options, rehab options, etc. If they state they don't want rehab and plan to continue using, I no longer plead with them.

I feel sad for them but I know I did my job in providing them options and education, and as stated above, you can't care about someone more than they care about themself. And you can't think you know what's best for someone more than they do. I've humbled myself! No more savior complex

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Specializes in IMC.
7 hours ago, RNperdiem said:

As I get older I am quicker to spot manipulation. Younger me would have been more likely to believe an unlikely 'poor me" story. Younger me was more eager to be liked and slower to spot BS.

That doesn't make me hard. I have boundaries and realize that the patient's personal problems belong to them, not my problem to solve. You can't save someone who isn't going to try to save themselves.

This is the best response! I could not agree more!

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