Do families HAVE to suffer while in school?

christinemj · Aug 18, 2004

Take all those horror stories with a grain of salt. So many times throughout this process, I've heard "Watch out for 3rd semester, the instructors are ogres," or various other "opinions." Well, you'll come to find out that EVERYONE's interpretation of a particular situation is different. And that "ogre-instructor" just may turn out to be your favorite!!

Same goes for the "family horror stories." You've stated that you have a great relationship with your husband, and a great family. I'd bet that you will have no difficulties keeping it all together during nursing school. If you go into it with open lines of communication with your family, you'll probably fair quite well.

BTW - You can chalk me up as a "success story" if you'd like. Graduating in December, top grades, have a GN position all lined up... AND my relationship with my husband and family is intact. :) Oh, yes, and baby number 4 is due in September.

The point is... don't buy into all the "horror" stories. Yes, some relationships do not survive nursing school. But you have to think... would they have survived anyway??? Oftentimes, an individual is looking for an alternate route/new career/education before ending the rocky relationship anyway.

Nursing school is not "easy" by any stretch of the imagination...but if you have a secure relationship and supportive family to start with...it is DEFINITELY do-able!!

Good Luck!!

carlalogan · Aug 18, 2004

thanks! I needed to hear that :)

FutureSuperNurse · Aug 18, 2004

I am a student as well and I agree that you should definately not let how others feel scare you. I am married and work almost forty hours a week and go to school, etc, I have fine relationships with my hubby, other family, work, etc, I mean, it is hard but definatley doable.......and I make A's and B's.........it's all about buckling down at the right times and you do need to take the necessary breaks from reality once in a while in order to maintain sanity....that's just my experience...:)

memphispanda, RN · Aug 18, 2004

It was hard for my family as far as finding time to do things together, but I think it strengthened my marriage, and certainly helped my husband develop his "Daddy" skills. Nursing school was a very positive thing for my family overall. My husband can actually get the kids all ready and out the door to school by himself now. We have much less stress about the bills, and since lack of money caused many fights around here, we are arguing much less. The kids are proud of me and love to tell people that I am a nurse (of course they also loved to tell people when I was a preschool teacher and when I was in nursing school).

If your husband (or significant other) is truly willing to pitch in and help where needed, I think you will find nursing school to not be that hard on the relationship. Just remember that the SO needs a break from all that responsibility from time to time. My DH would get so excited the mornings I let him sleep because I was able to be home to get the kids off to school. It wasn't a big thing, but he really appreciated it.

zenman · Aug 18, 2004

Dream your own story.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Aug 18, 2004

It's a family effort when a parent goes to school. Without understanding and support from the spouse and kids that's when trouble starts. Best to be upfront with them that as a student there are going to be sacrifices made by everyone.

Those families that have faired the best have had a partner that is supportive and understanding. Please communicate to your spouse that you are counting on him/her for unconditional support and you'll do just fine. It's going to be work, no doubt about it, but most of us do just fine. Don't let the horror stories worry you. :)

leslie :-D · Aug 18, 2004

Dream your own story.

i like that randy.

with proper support, you and your family will be fine; the outcome is up to you, as randy already stated.

define your own story.

good one zenman.

leslie

louloubell1 · Aug 18, 2004

I agree with 3rdshiftguy. It is definitely a family effort when a parent goes to school, and the families that will make it through intact are the families that prepare for the experience, all pitch in to make it as smooth as possible, and have a realistic view of how difficult it can get.

My family made it through my undergrad education just fine. We had two children when I started, and our third was born during my third year of school. If anything, I think it strengthened my faith and trust in my husband. He went through that stressful busy time with me, and supported me all the way. Now we're getting ready to do it all again as I start anesthesia school on Monday (YAY!). It will be hard on our family.... there is no denying that, but we'll make it through. You will too!

I also like zenman's reply: Dream your own story. Your experience doesn't have to be tainted by the horror stories you hear from others.

cjan · Aug 19, 2004

Hang in there--I did an intense one year lpn program less than a year ago. I worked part timeon the weekends and went to school 8 hours m-f. i studied every second I could. My two boys learned to do their own homework and understood Why I could'nt go to sport games etc. Money was tight and it was tough but we made it through. I will start core classes for rn this month. Husbands just have to help out with dinner etc. and the family has to understand your studying is number 1 priority at this time. good luck and I'm sure you will do fine.

MarySunshine · Aug 19, 2004

I'm doing a four year BSN program while my husband is working on a master's degree. We don't have kids. It has definitely been tough for us, financially and time-wise. But not in this exaggerated "It's hell on earth!!" way. We're still in love and we are confident in our goals, so I know things will be great in the end. I think you may have some stressful days, but it's one of those things that's worth it for you AND your family. "Horror" stories tend to come from overly dramatic people. Speaking realistically, I considered nursing school to be the time sucking equivelent of a full-time job, nothing more but nothing less. Of course, you don't get paid for quite some time. :)

Good luck to you!

TexasPoodleMix · Aug 19, 2004

You will be fine ! In grad school everyone was always talking about how "hard" it was and yadda yadda ya but it wasn't really. People tend to overdramatize.