Do you ever resent your job(s)?

HeySis, BSN, RN · Aug 21, 2016

You are right that it is not the actual jobs that are making me resentful. I actually enjoy the work. But the commitment from both of them keeps me from doing other things I'd like to do. This year, I can kiss goodbye any vacations because I'll never be able to get enough time off to do so. My second job is the reason for this, but I can't eliminate it because it's allowing me to gain experience I'll need for future jobs. The first job I am keeping because I want to stand out from other applicants, as an internal candidate, when it's time for me to transfer.

It sounds like this will be a temporary thing. I can understand that it's hard and can lead to burnout when you are not getting the time off, but only you can decide if working both is worth it.

It's like working full time and going to school full time (which is my situation right now), and it's hard with no time for vacations and doing all the things I'd like with friends and family.

I tell myself I can do anything for a semester and then put my head down and get to work. I have to do that for two more semesters. If I didn't want the goal so badly, I'd be easy to resent others free time. But I knew what it's be like going into it and I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you really want this experience to advance/change paths, then focus on the goal. If your getting burned out, I'm hoping that indicates you're on the downside of the year needed for experience.

nursejoy1, ASN, RN · Aug 21, 2016

I completely understand your feelings. I work two jobs as well. My primary job is 80+a pay period and my second job is around 20 a pay period. I generally work all but one weekend a month, with two other off days somewhere in there. Lately due to requirements at my first job, I have been coming in at 6 am several days a month and not leaving til after 5 or 6 pm, five days a week. Today is actually the last of 30 days straight with no off days. (thankfully I'm off the next two days) I have an enormous amount of PTO and Holiday pay, but can't take it due to those same requirements. It is frustrating and I am actually looking to change jobs, even though I have been at my primary job for 15 years. It just gets to be too much. And financially , I'm currently stuck with two jobs, so just quitting one is not an option. I certainly hope things get better for you!

allnurses Guide · Aug 21, 2016

Life is all about sacrifices and accommodations. You don't say how old you are but many people make the same sacrifices as you in order to gain experience, pay off student loans or build a nest egg for the future. These are all admirable goals for someone starting out in their profession no matter what that may be. It does no good to feel resentful when these jobs are choices that you are making. If you are young there will be plenty of time for vacations and the like. Most places will allow you to take some time off if you make a plan and ask for the time off in advance like 6, 8 or even 12 weeks in advance. That being said I worked a heck of a lot when I was starting out because I was almost 40 when I became a nurse and had a lot of ground to catch up on to build a retirement account. I had a toddler and farmed him out to daycare for the first 5 years of his life. I missed a lot of firsts (thing you can never get back) and if I had it to do over again I would most likely have made different choices. Like others have said here. If you are unhappy with the current arrangement you can change it.

Peace

Hppy

kiszi, RN · Aug 21, 2016

Can't you request three or four days of PTO from your FT job to take a short trip and recharge?

nutella, MSN, RN · Aug 24, 2016

As many of you know, I work two jobs. Although I enjoy both of them, lately it's been difficult to be optimistic. With the first job requiring 72 hours a pay period and the second job 32 hours a pay period, both of them take up most of my time. While I can request and get PTO at my first job, I am unable to do so at my second job. It's also very difficult to get non-paid days off because we are so short staffed. I only have one or two days a month where I don't work either job. This means that work is basically my life, and I'm starting to resent these jobs because the hours don't allow me to do other things I'd like to do. The resentment rises whenever I see friends or family going on vacation, because I'm not able to do so myself. It's even harder when it's that person's third or more vacation of the year (Note: I'm not resentful of the people, it's my jobs that are doing it). I knew going into nursing that hours are long, and that weekends and holidays are a part of it. However, it's sometimes hard to be enthusiastic about a job that prevents me from doing other enjoyable things. Does anyone else ever resent their jobs because of the time they take or for other reasons?

To be honest - it is just like that when you have two jobs or one job and in school or job and family ... personal time becomes a luxury. Personally, I do not think it is helpful to resent the own situation in the setting of other people getting more time or vacation because it will just increase your personal dissatisfaction. I know from myself that it is normal to focus on establishing a career and making some money at a younger age. I hope that you are able to put some money to the side so when your time comes to take time off you will be able to enjoy your vacation. It is very important that you get some solid experience as a new nurse - that will set you up for other jobs and jobs with better pay or better benefits.

xoemmylouox, ASN, RN · Aug 24, 2016

I understand. I have either worked 2 jobs, gone to school full time and work full time, or my current nightmare of working up to 3 jobs in 1 week and in school full time. There is literally no "me" time. It sucks. I HATE it! BUUUUT I know I have less than a year of it left. Try to remind yourself there is an end date. You are sacrificing now so you can enjoy life later.

Try to keep your sanity for now. There is no shame in calling off for a mental health day if you need it.

calivianya, BSN, RN · Aug 24, 2016

I am feeling you. I totally understand where you are coming from - I am in school full time (in person classes Monday-Friday), I work full time nights, and I have a PRN night job. It makes me crazy. I just about had a total meltdown at the end of last semester around exam time, which was also when my full time job's overtime incentive bonus hours had to be completed by, so I ended up working 144 hours that pay period when I had three finals to take. Whew. It was a nightmare. I was not a pleasant person those weeks!

It kind of felt like my life was totally out of my hands because I couldn't do anything but work, study, go to school, and repeat, and I felt like I had no ability to do anything for me or take any time for anything I wanted to do. That sort of "helpless" feeling led to all kinds of impulsive, irresponsible decisions including a random cosmetic procedure and almost ruining a very successful 3 year relationship by pursuing someone else just to have control over *something* in my life.

I see that the second job is what is really going to open doors for you, and it's what's important. So - is there any way to cut back to PRN or part time at your full time job? You'd keep your foot in the door, and you'd be able to work less hours. Alternatively - is there any way to cut down to PRN at your part time job? You could still work two shifts a week if you wanted, but more importantly, you wouldn't HAVE to work two shifts per week and you could take some time off.