Do you ever feel undeserving to be called a nurse?

Published

When I graduated from nursing school I immediately accepted a position on an Orthopedic/Medical Surgical floor. On that floor, I was responsible for taking care of post-operative orthopedic surgery patients, most commonly joint replacements, and general med-surg patients. On any given day, we would have 6 patients and our assignment was a mixture of the two types of patients. Because our unit had such high turnover due to our ortho patients, it wasn’t unusual to have 4 discharges and 4 admits a day. It was quite exhausting. It was especially difficult because with the extensive amount of time that 4 discharges and 4 admits takes, you also had your other 2 sick med-surg patients to care for. Often times, we would receive admits from the ED that were inappropriate for our floor but due to hospital occupancy, it didn’t matter. Trying to manage an ortho patient’s schedule and a med-surg patient’s schedule was very challenging because they were total opposite, yet often times overlapped. Our ortho patients had physical therapy twice a day, once at 8:30 and again at 12:30. Prior to PT, we had to give our ortho patients their pain meds (if it was in the allowed timeframe, q4h) but that also overlapped with the 8:00 med pass of our med-surg patients with 18+ medications due at one time. We give our ortho patients pain meds around the clock.  They are technically PRN but they are essentially scheduled. The rationale is that it is easier to prevent pain than it is to play catch up. If the patient is in pain, they will not be able to perform their PT exercises properly and ultimately not heal appropriately or gain full ROM. After 10 months of working on this floor, I decided to look for other positions as an RN. This job gave me a sense of pride because I was able to help people and do what I loved but it was physically and mentally draining.

I applied for a position at an outpatient vascular surgery office as a moderate sedation administration nurse. I was offered the position and graciously accepted. We perform angiograms, smagrams, fistulagrams, thrombectomies on AVG’s, TDC inserts, changes, and removals, IVC filter inserts and removals, powerport inserts and removals, venograms, etc. Here recently, a local dialysis access center that offers maintenance work on patients’ accesses closed down. We have since received almost all of their patients and where we used to mostly treat our arterial patients with PVD, we have been slammed taking care of our dialysis patients and making sure their accesses are working properly. I love my job, I love the OR, I have amazing coworkers, I work 4 days a week 6:30am-5:00pm, no weekends, no holidays and enjoy what I do. However, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, sometimes I feel like I’m not a “real” nurse anymore. People will ask me what I do for work and when I tell them I’m a nurse they often say, thank you for all that you do and working on the frontlines. I feel guilty and often don’t know what to say because I’m not on the frontlines anymore, I don’t work in the hospital, I don’t treat COVID-19 patients. We were lucky enough to never slow down during the pandemic and we were able to remain open throughout the whole thing. I know what I do is making a difference for my patients because without it our dialysis patients wouldn’t be able to receive their dialysis treatment and our arterial patients would lose their limbs but sometimes I feel less than a nurse. When people think of nurses they think of the ones in the hospitals saving lives on a daily basis and fighting this virus head on. Am I really considered a “real” nurse if don’t do those things?

On 12/6/2020 at 9:04 PM, mtanner said:

When people think of nurses they think of the ones in the hospitals saving lives on a daily basis and fighting this virus head on. Am I really considered a “real” nurse if don’t do those things?

This statement represents a very glamorized view of nursing.

I couldn't give a numeric estimate, but a very good percentage of what nurses do on a daily basis are not life-saving activities. There are actions that directly participate in life-saving efforts, yes, but not always. Our activities run the gamut from (much less commonly) personally playing a major life-saving role....to helping someone have a more peaceful death and everything in-between.

In general I think we need to get away from the idea that the hospital is the be-all-end-all of "real" healthcare. If you get out in the community you will see that isn't at all true. Even the work you yourself are doing proves it isn't true. The inappropriate glamorizing of hospital work is, in part, what puts hospital employers in such a powerful position, which they nearly constantly abuse.

You've shared a lot of thoughts and I think they may represent you kind of figuring out the meaning of life, and specifically your life....which is a normal developmental process for adults. ???

Specializes in Med-Surg.

By my own dumb luck of where I happen to work my unit much like your first job (ortho-med surg)  is designated "never covid or PUI  or r/o covid" and I have yet to work covid, although technically speaking we are now allowed to float there (at first we weren't).  So I haven't taken care of a covid patient yet.  

So when I hear "thanks for all you do", "you're my hero", I cringe and understand what you're saying because I'm not on the front line.  

But like others say, there is value in all we do as nurses no matter where we work. 

 

Specializes in SNF/LTC, MDS.
On 12/10/2020 at 9:28 PM, cynical-RN said:

You are a nurse irrespective of your chosen field as long as you are licensed. I do not see this inferiority complex with physicians who range in scope: pathologists, ID, surgeons, IM, radiologists, psychiatrists, etc. You think dermatologists are "saving lives" performing some of the perceived heroic attributes that the general public thinks all physicians perform? Though I do have my reservations for LTC, It is only in nursing where one finds this pitiful diatribe. 

As a nurse who has worked in LTC for over 20 years, I have worked with a great many competent and qualified (and licensed) nurses who care deeply about their patients. I am sad but not surprised at your implication that LTC nurses are not quite worthy of their colleagues’ respect.  I hope to see a day when we nurses respect all of our colleagues without exception. 

 

Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.

I've been taking care of covid patients since the beginning of the pandemic, and I'm so burnt out. I'm leaving for outpatient PACU but I'm so guilty about ditching the team during this time and leaving the fight against covid before it's over I'm staying at my hospital once a week.

I know no type of nursing is better than another, and that our self worth and being a "good person" is not defined by the pt population we care for, but I admit I can't fully leave working at a county hospital with vulnerable pt populations and now covid for an outpatient job in a wealthy area. I'm telling myself all types of pts need care, and people of all demographics need support.

I'm embarrassed to say I am partially staying because I love my team, but also because I currently feel OK (a bit awkward) receiving the praise about being a frontline worker, and would probably feel the same as others above if I keep getting the praise for doing a job unrelated to covid. Maybe it's a stupid reason, but at least I admit it to myself. I am also proud of being part of the fight and kind of want to see it through, although right now there is no end in sight and I'm pretty tired of getting pressure ulcers on my nose and my hands cracking open from all the hand washing =( if anyone has some good lotion recommendations I'm all ears.

6 hours ago, hibiscus6 said:

As a nurse who has worked in LTC for over 20 years, I have worked with a great many competent and qualified (and licensed) nurses who care deeply about their patients. I am sad but not surprised at your implication that LTC nurses are not quite worthy of their colleagues’ respect.  I hope to see a day when we nurses respect all of our colleagues without exception. 

 

You misunderstood my comment. My reservation for LTC are not based on the nurses who work there. I do not know how you reached that conclusion when I clearly said that OP is a nurse irrespective of chosen field, but since your comprehension or lack thereof is not my burden, I will stop here. 

Specializes in Critical care.

You’re work is so very important. You’re helping to keep those patients OUT of the hospital, which means there are more beds for patients that need them. That is just as important as the work I’m doing in the hospital in the ICU.

Specializes in SNF/LTC, MDS.
On 12/12/2020 at 6:18 PM, cynical-RN said:

You misunderstood my comment. My reservation for LTC are not based on the nurses who work there. I do not know how you reached that conclusion when I clearly said that OP is a nurse irrespective of chosen field, but since your comprehension or lack thereof is not my burden, I will stop here. 

Thanks for clarifying. Perhaps I was just in a quarrelsome mood when I read your post. Good reminder for me that part of respecting one’s colleagues is not jumping to unwarranted conclusions.

 

+ Join the Discussion