Do you call your patients by first or last name?

rn/writer, RN · Mar 24, 2006

In this age of the BabyDaddy, one can never presume to know anyone's marital status, so the honorifics (Miss, Mrs., Ms.) on a postpartum floor are often more trouble than they're worth.

When I go into a patient's room, I introduce myself and then ask what she would like me to call her. The response is almost always either a first name or a nickname.

The really tricky part is learning how to address the FOB (father of the baby). Again, the only practical method I know of is to ask, "What shall I call you?" Then, even if he isn't the FOB (but rather the mother's father or step-father or brother or uncle or ????), you've still got a name to work with, and often, if he isn't the FOB, he'll clarify his role.

Sometimes I wonder how the babies are going to keep track of everyone in their lives when each child in the family can have a different BabyDaddy and each BabyDaddy can have children with several different women. And lest anyone think I'm picking on any one ethnic or socio-economic group, this is not unlike the situation in many upscale communities where serial monogamy and the trendy never-married crowd have given new meaning to the concept that we're all connected.

Back to the topic at hand. Asking eliminates the guess work.

Kevi · Mar 24, 2006

Maybe I'm the only one, but I use the FIRST name unless asked to do otherwise. As a 30 yr old married women I personally HATE being called by my last name or called Mrs. or maim. It just seems fake, inpersonal, and insincere to me. I also can't stand sales or customer service people that are over polite. Just talk to me like a normal person. I find people more approachable when they don't try to be all politically correct. I also find it comforting and caring when someone calls me "hon" or "honey" (unless it's being used as a sexual or condesending term- and YES, I think most people can tell the difference). I haven't had any complaints yet and I seem to connect with most patients and families. I have had a couple older patients that wanted to be addressed by a formal title and I respect that too. I have to be honest though- in my experience the few that do have a problem with that are more closed, icy- not usually full of joy and love. It takes all kinds and I'm not saying that's wrong- just an observation. I think that respect and professionalism is measured in how we treat and what we do for people, not really by what titles we use.

Lets get real....most nurses I have been associated with so far have always addressed patients by first name. I am no different and find it way better for developing patient rapport to use first name. I having even used "hon" especially with geriatric patients.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Mar 24, 2006

Hmmm I vacillate over this.

I am in the deeeep south in a teeeny tiny town. I'm also 61 years old and have been an RN for 32 years.

If you're younger than me and have known me several years I'll take Miz P.

If you are wayyyy younger than me you call me Mrs___last name unless I tell you otherwise.

Now patients are always Miz or Mr____last name unless I've known them awhile and then it's Miz Susie or Mr John.

I think it's disrespectful for a new NP, PA or Doc to call my 88 year old Mama by her first name (No Miz or other title), and I'll tell them that in a skinny minute.

If I work with you first name is OK within the nurses station. If out on the floor then whatever the consensus is. If a doc calls my first name, I call him by his......

beautifulb · Mar 25, 2006

If a doc isn't supposed to call you by your first name, then how do they address you?

RN and Mommy · Mar 25, 2006

On the floor where I work, we ask the patient what they would like to be called and that name gets written on the white board. Sometimes it's Mr. so and so, sometimes their first name, and sometimes a nickname. It all depends on what the patient's preference is.

LilRedRN1973 · Mar 26, 2006

I work in an adult trauma/medical/surgical ICU and most of our patients are not able to tell you their preference. If they are much older than me (I'm 32), I usually address them by their last name prefaced with a Mrs. or Mr. Younger folks I usually call my first name. I never use "sweetie" or "honey", although many of my coworkers do. The most informal I get is "my friend". Like when I through giving a bath, I'll say "You're all cleaned up and it's time to put you on clean linens, my friend".

I recently had my evaluation and one of the things I was praised on was that I don't call our patients "sweetie", "darling", and "honey". Apparently, there have been a few patients who complained about it and it irks our managers to no end. I can understand that; I don't think I would like to be called "sweetie" when I'm lying half naked in an ICU at the ripe old age of 50 or 60. It would feel kind of condescending. But that is just my opinion and how it would make me feel. For all I know, many older folks may like it. I like using "my friend" especially when talking to male clientele.

Melanie = )

mawlvn · Mar 26, 2006

I always address patiants formally. Evan when instructed by them to be less formal, I genrally forget.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Mar 26, 2006

If a doc isn't supposed to call you by your first name, then how do they address you?

I'll take Miz ___last name_____, I'll even take Nurse ___last name____, BUT it's MY choice not some guy's I've never spoken to before.

KAW1962 · Mar 26, 2006

I have a lot of patients, especially the men, call me Ma'am. I always tell them "You can call me _________." Then I ask how they prefer to be addressed. If they go by a certain nickname, we try to pass that information on in report.

Most of our patients prefer being on a first name basis. I have had very few ask me to call them Mr or Mrs. Most of the elderly women call me "dear." Even when the patients give me permission to address them by first name, I will usually call them Miss Anna or Miss Victoria or whichever the case may be. Still using their first name, but it also shows respect.

oblove23 · Mar 26, 2006

what ever my patients r confortable with that is what i call them by .

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Mar 26, 2006

hospital i go to they call us by our first names...but then it is a childrens hospital so there u go

HappyNurse2005, RN · Mar 26, 2006

hospital i go to they call us by our first names...but then it is a childrens hospital so there u go

Yes, children I would always call by their first name. Of course, on my floor, a cardiac surgery PCU, we don't really get children. I had a 19 year old who still lived at home w/ mom, and I am older than her (24), so i asked her if she wanted be called Jane or Miss Doe, and she said jane.