This community is godsend. I signed up because my life is falling apart. Has anyone's nursing career cost them their marriage? I'm 37 and was married for 5 years before my husband filed for divorce because of my job. I've been a med surg nurse for 14 years.
I should've seen this coming. When we first moved in, he didn't get why I was so tired when I got home. Why I just wanted to sleep. Why I was to tired to run errands. He thought nurses just follow doctors orders like giving meds, and that our main role was hospitality to get patients and their families whatever they wanted. This pissed me off, so I asked my non healthcare friends what we do, and they sadly gave similar answers. Anyway, a few months into our marriage, my husband got laid off.After 9 months of unemployment we agreed he'd get his LPN, and then get his RN.
He learned that we are not a doctor's ***** and are not servants to patients and their families. Unfortunately he learned it's actually a physical and busy job. About a year and a half ago, I started having upper back and shoulder pain. Before this I had minor aches and pains after shifts but was otherwise healthy, so I ignored it until it became worse. The doctor said I had spondylosis and degenerative disc disease, which built up over time. The doctor couldn't confirm but did say most likely this came from the demands of nursing. My husband was with me at the appointment, and the doctor said in his expertise nurses are notorious for having early arthritis and early disc disease and other bony changes. My husband demanded I find a new job but I refused b/c I like what I do. Not everyone can go through the intense schooling we do or take being a nurse. My ex husband said that nursing wore him out. The job left him with physical pain in his feet and knees, and the stress from the job affected his mentality. Its true that we have higher rates of mental health problems probably from job stress and things we see, but we get to save lives. He hated how coworkers looked down on him for taking breaks and using the bathroom frequently because he placed himself before patients. He's since quit. I just think he wasn't fit for nursing. I agree that we work in horrible conditions, we have horrible workloads, we're overworked, we're understaffed, we're under appreciated, management cares less about us, and its bad for our health, but I love my coworkers and I've known nothing but working in med-surg. Anyway, once I started having pain, I had more aches and pains in other areas, and my husband and I started arguing alot more. Finally he said if I remained at my job he would leave me. I never thought he would. We love each other, we really do, so should I quit my job to be with him? What would you guys do?
