Divorce before graduating to avoid alimony?

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So the title of this sounds horrible but I would like to get some opinions from anyone who has been through this before. I'm not asking if I should get a divorce.....it's going to happen but a coworker recently suggested I do it sooner than later to avoid paying a large amount of alimony.

So here's a little backstory. Married 15 years, two kids 12 and 13. We have both worked throughout the entire marriage, salaries about equal he usually made about $5-10,000 more than me. About two years ago my husband had some back issues, had surgery but unfortunately it did not help and he claims to be in pain daily. A year ago the doctor put him out on permanent disability. He receives $2000/month in disability ($1300 for him and another $700 in disability for the kids). Now, he could work a light duty job but he has basically just given up and decided that with him getting disability and me working overtime when I graduate school we will be fine. I am currently halfway through my nursing program, I work 40 hours a week and in the summers I work 60 hrs per week. I make $15/hr. I have taken out student loans in my name to pay for school.

My plan was to graduate school, work for a year, save some money then separate. But by then I could be making $60,000 and if the kids live with me, his social security is reduced to $1300/month.

Would I be forced to pay alimony?

Would I be better off getting a divorce while I'm still only making $15/hr?

I don't know how it works and I suppose contacting a divorce lawyer would be helpful I guess I just wasn't prepared to take that step so soon. But frankly, the thought of having to pay my husband support payments so he can sit around the house and pop his pain pills, while having no goals to better himself or his situation just makes me ill.

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Specializes in Healthcare risk management and liability.

This depends entirely on your state law: if it is a community property state or not, if they have alimony/maintenance or not, etc. Most states follow the principle of an equitable settlement, which may not be the same as an equal split of assets and liabilities and future support. You need to talk to an a divorce attorney in your state. If the situation were reversed, I am sure you would seek to secure your future by getting as much as you could. Your husband likely feels the same.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

You need an attorney.

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Alimony is almost unheard of any longer. Consult an attorney.

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most definitely talk to an attorney, and one that specializes in divorce law. Probably not in your best interest to take the advice of unknown people on a message forum in something as important as this, if the unknown people are wrong and you act on that advice it could turn out very badly for you. Good luck!

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Specializes in ER.
Alimony is almost unheard of any longer. Consult an attorney.

Not true. I've seen women with lazy husbands get the shaft. One nurse I worked with a while back was always working overtime, her husband was a professional student it seemed, he bought an expensive car, she was paying for payments, etcetera and so forth.

Then he decided he was going to maybe try a nursing school, got his CNA, was working at a facility, and had an affair. They were then getting a divorce and he sued her for alimony. They didn't even have kids together. She ended up losing her house and having to declare bankruptcy.

A lot of nurses who are carrying the financial load have gotten screwed by the system. Don't let men mooch off of you ladies. If you establish a pattern of supporting someone it can be considered in a divorce, at least in some states.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

We cannot provide legal advice per TOS.

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