This is my first post here and I suppose I just need to vent/hear some words of wisdom and encouragement :)
I have been a MICU nurse for about 7 years now. I have never worked anywhere else. Due to our large cancer population in my MICU, end-of-life care is something my co-workers and I are quite used to.
Quite often, we encounter families who are not ready to let go, even long after modern medicine and technology become futile. Getting these families to accept the death of their loved ones can be quite trying on us, as we agonize over the suffering of our patients. We do, however, treat these circumstances with extreme patience and respect.
Less often, we encounter families who take out their frustrations on the nursing and medical team. These are people who, quite frankly, can be mean and hateful. I am currently dealing with one of these situations. It is the worst for me yet and I have found myself perseverating on it throughout the entire duration of my weekend off!
I initially could stand the dirty looks, the eye-rolling, the heavy sighs. I grew more unsettled under the weight of the passive-aggressive comments. *For example: It is the evening. Family is visiting. Patient is barely interactive except for an occasional silent scream. Family member states as they pat patient's forehead, "I know, I know. THEY are just putting you through so much.* Yesterday, however, was the icing on the cake.
We have a 2-3 person visiting policy in my ICU. Mostly because I am scared of these people, I said nothing as 5 visitors hovered around the bedside all evening. Four of them sitting in chairs pushed up against the wall. Our patient rooms are SMALL. It was very hard for me to squeeze around the bed to provide care. I was asked to bring another chair into the room. I said no. I explained there was not enough room. I admit, I was rushed, I was scared of them, I was annoyed. I may not have smiled when I said this. Suffice it to say this did not go over well.
Family member #1: "Well, you could be nice about it. You don't have to be so snooty."
Me: Trying to not make this personal, trying to pretend I didn't hear the name-calling, I attempt to again explain why I can't bring in another chair. This may or may not have been the right approach. Hindsight is 20/20, but now I wish I just apologized and left. So, here I go, "It has been hard for me to walk around the bed..." Not sure how much I got out.
Family member #1: Just stop.
Family member #2: Shhh. Just shhh.
Family member #3: Heavy sigh.
Me: OMG. Cut off mid-sentence. Basically told to shut up. Have NEVER felt so demeaned, disrespected, and disregarded in my entire career.
I admit that when I told this family that I could not bring in another chair, I may have been rushed and short. However, I will back this up by saying that overall I have been trying really hard to suck up to them because of how much they scare me. This is definitely not a case of me being witch-nurse (and I know we all know those kind of people). Regardless of how I said this one comment, the name-calling and complete dismissal of me was completely inappropriate and I can't seem to shake it.
