I am soo tired. I had to quit a very good job last week because I was forced out by some other co-workers, my mom is living with me and she is stressing me out, and my childrens father isn't helping me support them at all. It is about to be Christmas and I don't know how I am going to pay my house note for this month let alone have a Christmas for my children. Let me start from the beginning. My mom had to come stay with me for about three weeks because she is mentally ill and hasn't paid any of her bills and her lights and phone was cut off. My mom also abuses illegal drugs, so that was another reason why the bills wasn't paid, because she was spending all her money on dope. She is non compliant with her treatment regimen, and her living with me has been absolute hell. She cusses and talks to herself, she argues with the tv, I can't even discipline my children around her or she will butt in. She has eaten up all the food and dranked up all the drink, and she knows I don't have any money to be buying food and she hasn't offered to help in any way(what did I expect, she is mentally ill). I have caught her smoking dope out in the cold in my backyard, she is in and out of the house all day and night. I called the crisis line and asked them what should I do, and they said to call the police on her. I didn't want to do that because I didn't want to go through the motions of her crying, my children crying, and me just feeling like the total bad guy in all of this. I am trying to help her, but my patience has ran thin with her. She knows she needs help but she refuses to get it. She has a history with mental illness, she has been hospitalized for this before. She is currently receiving disability for it, so I can't see why she can't get the help that she needs. If I have her put in the hospital, she will be out in 72 hours or less. My mother used to be a psyche nurse coincidentally and she knows how to work the system and make it so she doesn't appear too crazy. Then, my children's father doesn't help me with them what so ever. He doesn't come and see them when he is supposed to, he isn't finacially supportive at all. I have been dealing with his harassing text messages and phone calls of him calling me evil dumb b@#$%, and other unmentionables, while I am struggling to take care of our children by myself. I have told him not to call or come over for the kids if he can't come and see them on the days we agreed he would see them. I have asked for some money from him and he tells me to wait on my child support check, which I haven't recieved since I put the order out in 2003 because he hasn't paid anything. And then the courts only ordered him to pay a measly $265 dollars a month, like that is going to help me. My gas bill is more than that. He owes me over $5000 dollars and I am the bad guy because I put the order out on him thats forcing him to pay the support at a set time not when he feels like paying it. I wouldn't even have done that if he was giving me something in the first place. Then to put the icing on the cake, he tells my kids that he is coming home knowing full well that thats not going to happen and he said that knowing how the kids feel about us breaking up. He knows the kids want him to come back home, and he knows thats not going to happen, and he tells them that?!!! I can't even go to school half way because I am always out trying to either work or find work, and he is living over his moms house getting over like a fat rat, with no bills to pay or any responsibilities. All I want to do is find some kind of decent paying work so I can finish school and become a nurse. That is all I want to do. I have absolutely no support system what so ever, and I am just sick of even trying because it seems like I can't even catch a break. I have nothing right now except my children and we might be out in the cold by next month if I don't come up with something fast. I am soo tired of dodging axes.I have no zest for life anymore . I am just plain old tired and worn out. I have ulcers do to stress, my hair is falling out, my stomach stays upset. I can't even cry, I tried to make myself cry hoping that I would feel better, but I can't . I am tired of crying, I have cried enough to the point where I can't even allow myself to feel anymore. I have even tried dating and all I seem to find are toads. I have been single for three years and I still haven't found anybody worth giving the time of day. I know this is long, thanks for reading.
. I am just plain old tired and worn out. I have ulcers do to stress, my hair is falling out, my stomach stays upset. I can't even cry, I tried to make myself cry hoping that I would feel better, but I can't 
. I am tired of crying, I have cried enough to the point where I can't even allow myself to feel anymore. I have even tried dating and all I seem to find are toads. I have been single for three years and I still haven't found anybody worth giving the time of day. I know this is long, thanks for reading.