Depressed RN- maybe nursing isn't for me?

Nurse Joey · Mar 8, 2011

Who gave you the diagnosis of major depressive d/o? Seems like you should start there.
One of the hallmarks of deep depression is that you lose your perspective. Everything is colored by the gray (or black) feelings. Please, confer with a competent and skilled therapist/psychiatrist. You may need to be on meds. You probably also need to talk with someone.
Some view depression as weakness and just try to "rise above" it or talk themselves out of it. This is rarely a good idea. Why? Because when you're sufficiently depressed, trying to treat yourself is like trying to pull yourself out of quicksand by tugging on your own hair.
You need the "leverage" of someone else to take you where you just can't go on your own.
Before you change jobs or close doors, please, see someone to help you with this. It may not be the external circumstances but the internal malaise and discomfort that have you feeling hopeless. It could be both, but, whatever you do, get help, and don't try to figure this all out by yourself.
Stay in touch with us, and let us know how you're doing.
PM me if you'd like.
Take care.

"I'm not doubting your diagnosis. Only saying that it's just the starting place.

Your doc may need to try different meds, singly or in combination, to find out what works best for you.

It also sounds like you could use some counseling regarding all the personal issues. Some depression is situational--it comes from your circumstances, and just about anyone in that set-up would feel overwhelmed. If you also have an internal (biochemical) element, the two together can make the world seem bleak indeed.

The treatment you have described sounds good. But you may need a more intense approach (more frequent appointments--especially while evaluating meds, aggressive therapy, a support group) in this early stage.

And please, be sure to give good feedback to your practitioners. Too many people downplay their feelings because they either don't want to seem like complainers or they can't muster the energy at the time of the appointment. One way around that is to keep a journal that you can email or show the caregiver. That allows them to see behind the facade that we are taught to wear in public.

One other thing. See your primary care provider for a good physical. Depression seems to magnify anything else that is going on. You may need vitamins or other treatment to get yourself physically up to par. The mind and the body can influence each other greatly. Talk to your doc about any sleep problems you're having. There may be more than one thing going on with you.

Keep on trying, keep on seeking, keep on asking for help until you feel that your needs are being met. Don't waste time wondering if you are somehow inadequate when what you really are is in pain.

I'm rooting for you."

What medical school did you attend? I'm just curious as you are trying to diagnose someone and tell them what course of treatment they should take.

This is by far the worst reply I have ever seen to an honest question. You know nothing about this woman besides the little she's decided to share, and you question her diagnosis? You tell her she should be on meds? You tell her that her doctor made need to change her treatment? I was of the opinion that members of allnurses.com don't give medical advice, guess I was wrong. I also thought we were a judgment free community, but its good you're rooting for her... by undermining her. She came here because she wanted honest answers to her question, she wanted support, and understanding. Let me demonstrate rookie.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. If you made it through nursing school, then you must have what it takes to be a nurse. Those seasoned instructors can weed out the bad ones. Stick with nursing, there may be an avenue you haven't thought of, but it does sound like you enjoy patient education. Stay strong, we here at Allnurses are here for you.

babblingbrook · Mar 9, 2011

Thank you for being supportive. But honestly how do you tell if you're a bad nurse or just not in the right dept for you? I am really beginning to hate going to work as it feels like a revolving door in psych...usually pt has had abuse of sone type and you terrible for them, they use drugs and think it's not a problem, or they never stay on their meds b/c they think they don't have a problem. It's rare to see schizo dx's. I guess what I'm asking is how do you distance yourself or get a thicker skin? I figure it's difficult to find a job in a new dept so I have to make the best of the situation for now.

I am feeling somewhat better after talking to a seasoned nurse who had similar issues when her children were young like mine. Plus, all the helpful advice y'all have offered has helped. I just need to learn to be a tougher broad and don't worry so much about others and let it remain their stress and not mine. I guess I just hit my low point as my psych unit is trying to make us do primary care nursing lime on a med-surg floor and it just isn't possible w/ this psych population as it's a county facility so we take the PTA no one else wants and the PTA have nothing to lose by hitting you.

Thanks for listening!

Katie5 · Mar 12, 2011

katie, that was one of the most brilliant posts i've ever read.
it showed profound insight, sensitivity, and wisdom...
and i sincerely hope the op heeds your advice.
op, are you still on the wellbutrin?
as rn/writer stated, you may have to take one or more...as some antidepressants target dopamine receptors, whereas others may target norepinephrine or serotonin.
you also need to have the psychiatrist closely monitor its effect or its lack.
stay involved with him/her.
also want to point out, that antidepressants are not a magic cure...
they won't change the circumstances in your life, but they can change the way you perceive and handle them.
yrs ago i was diagnosed with major depressive do, et al.
i don't remember the circumstances that led me to being w/o antidepressants...
but there i was, crying like a blubbering idiot at any/everything.
antidepressants definitely (DEFINITELY!!) helped with that, as i cry around 95-99% less now.
right now, your health is the priority here.
take your dr's advice, and take some time off.
separate yourself from known stressors, and take the time to regroup, restrategize, and reprioritize.
this is your life we're talking about.
not trying to be dramatic, but with unresolved, major depression, it's not a life, but a mere existence.
wishing you only the very best.
and please feel free to pm me as well.:hug:
leslie

Thanks Leslie:)

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Mar 12, 2011

I have walked a mile in your shoes. Don't think nursing is your cause of depression or anxiety, it is just adding to it.

I had tried anti-depressants, Don't think they solve anything.. just sort of dull reality.

I have managed.. somehow.. to finally pull out of MANY years of feeling helpless and hopeless.

The psychiatrist is not helping you by drugging you, throwing pills at you does NOT help.

Please, get a counselor that will LISTEN to you, advise you, and give you the insight you so desperately need.

When you are in the throes of depression, you need expert guidance. Please private message me, I think I can help.

rn/writer, RN · Mar 12, 2011

It is not for us to say that the OP does or does not need meds. One person may have had an unsatisfying experience with meds, but that doesn't negate the benefits others have received. For many, it is some combination of meds, talk therapy, sunlight, good medical care, exercise, proper nutrition, sufficient rest, support from loved ones and other measures that does the trick. Rarely is one item alone able to address complex needs.

It is true that people who jump on the medication bandwagon, expecting it to work miracles are often disappointed. It is also true that people who jump on the anti-med bandwagon have the same result.

That is why it's a good idea to find a doc and a counselor whom you can trust and who will listen to you. The best practitioners use a multi-faceted approach and, rather than feeling threatened when something doesn't achieve the desired results, they cross that option off the list and keep looking. The effort to help the patient find relief should be a collaboration that includes respect, creativity, wisdom and skill. No one should be "throwing pills" at anyone else.