Dementia Can Kill You!!

I was working in a float pool as an LPN years ago until I landed something more permanent. It was always a crap shoot on what the agency would offer me in the form of jobs. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

One assignment will never leave my mind; it was quite a horrible experience! They called and offered me a job working at 3 pm until 11 pm, for three evenings in a row. They assured me it was an "easy" assignment taking care of a ninety-something-year-old woman in her home while her husband recovered from a hip replacement.

They told me she was very sweet but had a short-term memory problem. She could not be left alone as she had very progressed Alzheimer's. She and her husband were married for about a thousand years and had no children so he was very concerned about her safety.

I agreed to the assignment. It went from Sunday to Tuesday evening. I had to find a teenage babysitter because of the hours, I was never a fan of that but it was all that was available.

I arrived at her home at 3 pm and relieved the nurse that had been there during the day. I should have known something was up when she practically ran out the door when I got there, giving me a brief overview of her care, meds, and routine.

I introduced myself to the little old lady, who was sweet and quiet. We sat down and talked for a few minutes, and then she looked at me strangely and asked who I was again. This was only the beginning of the "memory issue."

Throughout the evening, she walked around the house calling for her husband "Allen." I had to redirect her many, many times by telling her he was in the hospital getting better. Her memory of who I lasted for 5 to 10 minutes at the most. She was even frightened by my presence several times if she would leave the room then come back in and see me, the stranger in her home!

This went on and on. I fixed supper with her by my side as much as possible, and as long as I kept her busy talking to me, I didn't frighten her as often. We ate supper, had her meds, and watched TV until it was her scheduled bedtime of 9 pm.

I recall counting the minutes until I could leave; reorienting someone that often is exhausting! I got her ready for bed and tucked her in. I thought finally I could relax a little.

After about 10 minutes, I could hear her moving around in bed, start crying, and then calling out "Allen" again. I came in to help which of course scared her but managed to settle her down again to sleep. This happened several times. After a few more times, I thought I would just let her fall asleep and not come in and scare her. Well, I heard her getting out of bed and moving things so I went in to help her. That's when I saw it, she had decided to load a handgun and place it near her because she was afraid to be alone and Allen wasn't home. I froze in my tracks! It was sitting on her bedside table, with two boxes of bullets! Of course, she saw me and got scared but luckily she was on the other side of the room from the gun. I told her who I was and talked her into using the bathroom before getting back into bed. While she was in the bathroom, I frantically hid the gun and bullets in the kitchen, shaking like a leaf the whole time!

I helped her back into bed and tucked her in, by then she was pretty tired and finally fell asleep. Meanwhile, the whole situation sank into me. If I would have made any noise in the living room, she could have easily come out and shot me dead! Or just coming into her bedroom to help her, she could have blown me away! It was so hard not to cry thinking about it!

I watched the clock and finally, 11 pm rolled around. "I made it!" I thought. Then it was 11:10, and 11:15 pm. Where was the night nurse? At 11:20 pm I called the agency. They told me that the night nurse had called in and they couldn't find a replacement. By then I felt like I was in the twilight zone! They told me I could go ahead and leave if I wanted to. I said "What? And leave her here all night alone, I can't do that!" Obviously, they didn't care if I lost my license, but I sure did! I was basically stuck! Called my sitter who was angry I was already late and couldn't sit for me all night. Just then, around midnight, someone was knocking at the door. It was the neighbor; she said she was notified by the agency that I couldn't stay the night so she could relieve me. I nearly cried! I told her about the gun in her room. She said, "Oh yeah, Allen has them all over the house; she probably has another one on the table by now!"

After that statement, I promptly thanked her and left in a hurry. Did I mention this was in Montana? Well, it scared me pretty bad and I told the agency they could stick the next two nights where the sun doesn't shine!

OMG. Reality shock! Thanks for sharing.I'm glad you are okay. Wow, and I am surprised about the facilities that put people on the schedule they know aren't coming! Holy cow! Good article.

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

I hope you reported this to the agency. This is definitely hazardous, and could easily become tragic in a blink of an eye

Scary .... and what if that old lady shoot the nurse?? that's horrible...

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how about the nurse's safety?? T-T

This was an excellent post that may save a life. Home health nurses..during admission assessments it might be good to ask if any guns are in the home and if so, are they kept locked.Tag the chart. Report and remind at staff meetings.

That woman was in the same stage of dementia that my mom is in now. My mom has no short term memory at all. They other day I explained to her that I was going to clean the bathroom. Shortly after I started to scrub she opened that bathroom door and demanded to know who I was and what I was doing in her house. You see she could only see my back, when I turned around and she saw my face she recognized me. It is almost a waste of breath to explain things ahead of time to her. If there had ever been any guns in her house you can believe me they would have been removed by now. It is negligent of family members that let guns in the house with a demented relative. Just like it is negligent not to take the car keys.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
that woman was in the same stage of dementia that my mom is in now. my mom has no short term memory at all. they other day i explained to her that i was going to clean the bathroom. shortly after i started to scrub she opened that bathroom door and demanded to know who i was and what i was doing in her house. you see she could only see my back, when i turned around and she saw my face she recognized me. it is almost a waste of breath to explain things ahead of time to her. if there had ever been any guns in her house you can believe me they would have been removed by now. it is negligent of family members that let guns in the house with a demented relative. just like it is negligent not to take the car keys.

while i can kind of agree with you, i can see two sides to this, too.

my mother is in the same stage of dementia as your mother and that patient, and while my father was alive, there were loaded guns (and car keys) in the house. dad didn't have dementia and no amount of arguing could convince him to give up his guns. since my sister and i are both hundreds of miles away, there wasn't much we could do. when dad died, there were still guns and car keys in the house.

i have since taken away my mother's driver's license (surrendered it to the mva in exchange for a state id card) and my sister took away not only the car keys but the cars. mom is living in assisted living now, without the guns.

it sounds as if allen had been living with and taking care of the patient until he went to the hospital. could be the situations were similar. that doesn't make it right, desirable or fair, but it's up to allen to decide whether or not to keep guns in the house.

This is a very sad and dangerous situation for the family. She really needs more care then he can provide if the agency was only called in while he was at the hospital. Imagine what her husband had been dealing with before his hip fracture. It sounds like a good idea to get social services and their doctor to talk to him about after hospital care for both of them.

Specializes in palliative care.

I would have immediately called 911, notifying the police, about this situation of patient and caregiver endangerment and neglect, especially since the neighbor was aware of the gun(s). I'm sure the nursing agency must have known all along, now really!! Not notifying the authorities makes the nurse liable if anything does happen in the future.

Specializes in Addictions, Acute Psychiatry.

you know the statistics of guns in the home...more likely to kill someone you know accidentally. Guns serve no purpose (at least pistols don't). Seen too much in trauma with guns. Calling the cops would have been a great idea! They could have searched the entire house, called the agency, etc...

whoa... makes you think twice