Dealing with work issues

Sparrowhawk · Nov 27, 2010

It takes time...but it starts with self confidence..keep telling yourself who cares what other people think I'm a good nurse, and that's all that matters...it'll start showing.

Orange Tree · Nov 27, 2010

Try to envision yourself in the future.....as a capable, confident nurse who used to want to cry when someone looked at her the wrong way. Every bad day is full of learning experiences.

It also helps to reach out and offer encouragement when you see someone else struggling. Not only does hearing about their situation validate your own feelings, but you quickly make friends this way. And it's all a little easier to take when you're surrounded by supportive people. :nurse: :redbeathe

transitionRN · Nov 27, 2010

It's hard. I was very intimidated when I began nursing. I learned very quick to stick to my guns (nicely) and assert myself for the sake of the patient. I think years later one person called me a bull in a china shop once, but you know, my patient was on the verge of crashing and the "wait, see, and it'll go away" game wasn't going to cut it for this patient. While my patient benefitted in the end, I did reflect on how to better communicate.

I believe it's human nature for people to get desensitized or learn to be perhaps a bit aggressive in order to protect themselves. It's not personal...try to remember that. Sometimes it's just self preservation. We had residents that were so kind at first, became "difficult", and finally, after finishing residency, they were kind again. Pressure. I think that's why communication has become so crucial in healthcare. It can be high pressure to meet goals, needs, deadlines, etc. I think part of why I've gone into education...to help better prepare new nurses for this environment.

Good luck~

mazy · Nov 27, 2010

Try to envision yourself in the future.....as a capable, confident nurse who used to want to cry when someone looked at her the wrong way. Every bad day is full of learning experiences.
It also helps to reach out and offer encouragement when you see someone else struggling. Not only does hearing about their situation validate your own feelings, but you quickly make friends this way. And it's all a little easier to take when you're surrounded by supportive people. :redbeathe

I think this is very good advice.

Another thing I would add, and something that I especially struggled with when I was younger, is to realize that the people you are dealing with have their own agenda and it has nothing to do with you other than that you are 1) in the way; or 2) look like an easy target.

I know it's hard to do but you have to let that stuff roll off of you. Just repeat "it's not me, it's them, it's not me, it's them....."

And then focus on being true to yourself.:heartbeat

Take it from me, as someone who has been there, one day you will look back and ask yourself "how did I ever let these idiots have that kind of power over me?"

indigonurse · Nov 28, 2010

With the nurse who wants you to fall of the face of the earth it will help to know that you have no control over what she wants, thinks, feels or knows. The best way to deal with her is to stay focused on yourself and what you need to do at work. Ignoring is a good skill to apply to this situation. As far as trust is concerned trust is earned. Crying is an emotion and if it interferes with you ability to function at work then the best person to help you out with that would be a licensed mental health professional or a support group for helping people to learn how to be more assertive.

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 28, 2010

It is such a dog eat dog world in the hospital setting, it really is... It does stink being on the receiving end of questioning/mistrust/work place issues. It will get better. It won't always be that way. Maybe with that one nurse or one doctor out there, where there will ALWAYS be one... but you have to learn how to ignore bad behavior. I get so angry when I am spoken down to or given orders in a dumbed down fashion. I have gotten to the point in my life, and my career, that I know what I know and will tell the doctor that I understand what they need, just tell me what they want and make is short and simple. No need to dumb down, just speak to me as your peer and team player. Once you get over being treated poorly, you'll demand for others to treat you with respect. Ensure that you are being respectful, as well (which I'm sure you are...). I'm a big believe in killing someone with kindness and that they'll learn to love me and my brain/skills, but sometimes no amount of sugar and sweet can bring a horrible person around. It's not you; it's them.

Scarlette Wings · Nov 28, 2010

how do you develop thick skin when having to deal with work issues? i am currently dealing with a nurse who acts like she just wants me to fall off the face of the earth and with doctors who don't trust me yet when in procedures with me? my manager is working with me but keeps telling me i need to develop thicker skin and not let my emotions show. i just don't know how and don't know if i can. i'm the person who cries if looked at wrong.

i so understand where you are coming from dreaming. i am tender hearted and wear my heart on my sleeve as well and a quarter of a century later, i am thankfully still tenderhearted and did not become bitter and spiteful like so many do in this field.

doctors will learn to trust you and your nursing judgment in time. they have to gain confidence in you and your abilities. they deal with a great many nurses that work in the various hospitals and nursing homes. even at my age when i changed my place of employment several years back i had to learn which doctor preferred what glove size or what they did want to be called about just as they had to learn when i called for a transfer to icu order i meant business.

as for your co-worker you have my sympathy. try not to take it personally. it is not about you but more likely is their own internal baggage. some people "do not play well with others." it is their issue not yours. it could be anything from envy to jealousy to fear you may be after their job. just be the best nurse you can be so that you have peace with yourself.

it sounds like your manager is supportive and for that you are blessed. good luck.