Dealing with well-meaning but stupid questions?

[feelslikefire]

Hey there! I've made a few posts on this website, but I've been lurking for ages and want to state first off how grateful I am for such an awesome community with so much information available to read about. For every person who makes a post or leaves a comment, I guarantee there's one or two someones like me who reads avidly for 2+ years before finally making an account and contributing. So! On to my question.

I just turned 30 this year. 3 years ago I decided I really wanted to go back to school for something in the health care field, and after much wrestling and weighing of options and soul-searching, I am firmly on the course to becoming a nurse. This was a big decision for me, particularly because both my parents are physicians (dermatologist and pediatrician), and I'm still relatively young with no life responsibilities (no spouse, no kids, no house). But I'm really attracted to the hands-on approach of nursing, nursing philosophy, the flexibility and opportunities for growth & education within the nursing field (not to mention not having to wait till I'm 40 to start my full income potential, not to mention avoiding the 300k of debt...) so I know I've made the right choice. I've taken 2 years of prerequisites already with just 2 or so classes left, and I'm applying to programs this fall, so I'm very excited.

Now, of course, I'm getting the dumb questions. Mostly from totally well-meaning people in my life who are familiar with what I've been debating the past few years, but sometimes from virtual strangers in class or at work (I bartend part-time right now).

"Why not just go to medical school? You're smart enough to be a doctor!" (Excuse you, what? And I suppose nursing school is all underwater basket-weaving and ouija board reading?)

"Have you thought about being a physician instead? You can do it if you really want to!" (No, it has NEVER ONCE OCCURRED TO ME to go to medical school. Certainly neither of my physician parents has ever suggested it. Repeatedly. With that hopeful expression in their eyes.)

"Why are you settling for nursing?" (Why did you leave your brain at home when you left the house this morning?)

Has anybody else encountered this? What do you say? I usually just laugh politely and either brush it off or give a vague response, but it's really shocking and frustrating how much virtual strangers love to tell me that I'm wrong and really, you should go to medical school/PA school, dear! ​

[mindofmidwifery, ADN]

I don't think people understand that doctors and nurses do almost completely different things and have almost completely different schooling. It's ridiculous how people compare the two.

[llg, PhD, RN]

My father was a physician, too. And I was the valedictorian of my high school class. I earned a prestigious scholorship at a fine university ... yada, yada, yada. I got that "why not be a doctor?" question a lot.

My answer: Because I had seen the life of a physician up close and that's not a life I wanted. Also, most of my Dad's doctor friends advised me against it because of the lack of flexibility in the medical field, the prolonged training, the debt, etc. The physicians I knew all that I was the smart one for choosing nursing instead. They pointed out that there were a variety of roles within nursing and that a nurse was free to switch from one role/specialty to another. They all told me that the smart move was to get a graduate degree in nursing -- so that is what I did. I now have a doctoral degree -- in nursing.

At some point, you have to just "get over it" and not worry about their stupid questions. Give them a truthful answer and the "let it go."

[Livetoride]

I get bombarded because I did not go to school to become a DVM lol.

It's not anybody's business but your own what you want to go into. Personally, I find it very stressful to even think about going the MD route. They go through extensive entrance and board exams, their insurance costs are too high, enormous amounts of debt, etc. There are more cons than pros to becoming an MD (Some would say the same for Nursing as well).

I like the idea in Nursing that you can switch specialties and you have room for growth. I second a pp on the fact that MD and Nursing are like comparing apples and oranges.

[rob4546, ADN, BSN, MSN]

I don't have a come back at all, and I have been asked similar questions from my family members. All I say is:

"I did this to help people and earn a respectable wage."

Being a MD or PA would give me more money but increased worries and debt. I want to spend time with my patients not the 15 minutes in and out of the room. I want to be resourceful and use critical thinking to improve my patient's enjoyment of life. I couldn't imagine being anything different than a nurse. Well maybe a BSN nurse!!

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Hang on just a sec! "nurse or doctor" is not an either-or question. There are a lot of us on AN who are Nurses as well as Doctors - LOL. I am personally offended by everyone who believes that the title "doctor" is exclusive to physicians. For clarity's sake, let's all resolve use the word "physicians" to refer to people with a doctorate in medicine, or at least call them "medical doctors" OK?

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I have not had one person ever respond to me like that. Maybe it's because I am older but everyone I know and have spoken to thinks what I am doing is great. I honestly could care less though what people think because I live my life, not them. If they are interested in being a physician, then they can do it.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Q: "you're smart enough to be a doctor, why don't you go to medical school?"

A (while laughing): "oh, I know I'm smart enough to be a doctor, I just wasn't sure I was smart enough to be a nurse!" :)

[tbbtpeach]

I can relate to this.

All throughout my life, I knew that I had wanted to do something medical (I loved Health/A&P/Bio, any science or human development classes, you name it, I aced it.) But I never quite honed in on what field or specialty I wanted to go into. Doctor (Really physician) had always been thrown out there by family members or friends (but never Nurse...I wonder why?)

Well, during my senior year, I interned at a physical therapy practice in my home town. The first semester, I loved it. I thought, this is definitely what I want to do/go into. Well, second semester, I got a bit tired of seeing hip/knee replacements all the time.(I wanted some diversity!!) Not to diss PT or anything, but really, it does get very repetitive.

So, I knew THAT wasn't for me. Honestly, I picked nursing at first because I was just so confused and needed to pick something!! Now, I know I made the right choice!!

But, I did get the questioning looks and the curt statements of, "Nursing? You could be so much more." I'm sorry, but what could be more FULFILLING than being a nurse? And there's so much diversity and room for upward growth!

And you know what, if I want, I can become a NP: work under my own license and provide holistic, one-on-one care which, in my opinion, is sometimes more in-depth than seeing the physician for 2.5 minutes.

But at the time, I felt like I was going into an inferior field and that I was making a terrible decision! That changed after my first year at college! I believe nursing students go through extremely rigorous schooling that rivals medical school and in less time. So, there is nothing EVER to be ashamed of.

Anyway, be encouraged OP. You are you. You know what you want in life better than anyone else.

I like the one liners given thus far! :') I'll use them!

[erinberrin, CNA]

What is the diff..uhm..medical school..uh..I think..

[brianbooth, RN]

How well I know what you're talking about... patients asking 'why aren't you a doctor?', and not having a snappy comeback, even all these decades later, is irritating, to say the least. If anyone supplies one here, I will be eternally in their debt.

However: this depends on the person asking the question, and their capacity to think things through - try 'if you were stranded on a desert island with one other person, and little chance of rescue, would you prefer that they were a doctor or a nurse?'

[feelslikefire]

Thanks for all the wonderful responses!! Everyone here makes a lot of great points & some very witty responses. The main reason I find it irksome is that in my current position, I have lots of coworkers/regulars (bartender) who know I've been investigating different career paths for awhile, and while many of them definitely ARE very supportive, just as many seem to think they know better than I do what I "ought" to be doing with my life---and without flatly telling them "none of your damn business" when they inquire how the school search is going, I have to struggle sometimes to come up with a thoughtful response.

[piquant]

I took biology as my first course and back then people would say why not nursing? like if you don't make it to med school then you have a good career to fall back on? well...i didnt push through with a med degree and took nursing as my second course 6yrs later. Im an RN now and I have tons of friends who are doctora now but not once did I regret that I became a nurse instead. It's more of what you really want to become vs all these people who think they know better