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Discussion

Dealing with sensitive care aides

A big part of my supervisory role is ensuring policy and procedure is being followed. When I saw a care aide's young (minor) relative in resident care and staff areas, I inquired with her privately about whether she had discussed having her relative 'volunteer' with management. She was very offended that I was "accusing her of not following policy" and reacted quite unprofessionally - which I gently confronted her about when things were quiet, she apologized, and I thought it ended reasonably well. I sent an email (including no names, just a brief description of the situation) to management asking for clarification on our policies about volunteers working in the home, and our manager replied with the information (as it happens, no, the care aide did not follow policy). The email included my message to her in the body, and the care aide saw. Apparently she is quite upset and feels I am out to get her. To me, this is a very straightforward matter of doing my job and ensuring resident's rights are respected, staff/volunteers are safe, and the company is not put in a position of liability. It is a matter of education, not disciplinary action, and I treat it as such.

Dealing with these sorts of emotional outbursts is very draining. It turns a non-issue into an issue and impedes my other responsibilities. It's one reason I transferred to a night line, because the staff drama was like being nibbled to death by ducks.

I am always mindful of keeping a calm, gentle tone when discussing concerns with my staff and avoiding confrontational or accusatory language. Is there anything else I can do without involving management in the event retaliation or unprofessional behavior rears up again on our next shift together?

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    "Nibbled to death by ducks"! What an awesome metaphor.

    No advice, I hate that stuff worse that getting a root canal.

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    • Experts
    the staff drama

    You might advise Staff to "Save the drama for your Mama!"

    Speaking of Mama, as a Child, when I use to cry, Mama would say to me, "Stop your damn crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"

    Seriously, notanumber, it sounds like you approach these Staff members appropriately- some are just crybabies. The only other thing I could think of reminding you is that, as a Supervisor, you are one of "Them", and the consensus is that "They" are always out to get you. Hence, the emotions on tender hooks.

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    Speaking of Mama, as a Child, when I use to cry, Mama would say to me, "Stop your damn crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"

    Come to think of it, Mama could have been a Supervisor...

    attachment.php?attachmentid=24546&stc=1

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    Come to think of it, Mama could have been a Supervisor...

    attachment.php?attachmentid=24546&stc=1

    That image is in my opinion not even remotely funny. I'm sure that I'm not the only person on this forum who's seen/met young children who've suffered abuse at the hands of the people the child should feel the most safe with, including children who have been beaten to death by one of their parents. There are likely also some posters who are survivors of childhood abuse.

    If that happened to you, I am genuinely sorry that you've had to experience that. No child should.

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    • Experts
    That image is in my opinion not even remotely funny. I'm sure that I'm not the only person on this forum who's seen/met young children who've suffered abuse at the hands of the people the child should feel the most safe with, including children who have been beaten to death by one of their parents. There are likely also some posters who are survivors of childhood abuse.

    If that happened to you, I am genuinely sorry that you've had to experience that. No child should.

    I sincerely apologize if my absurd post caused you any discomfort, macawake.

    Humor, as my signature says, is one way that I deal with fear or pain.

    You are entitled to your opinion and I truly respect your opinion.

    The very best to you, macawake.

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    If more drama makes you hold back on your discipline, it's effective for the worker. "He made me cry!" is a great tool to get sympathy.

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    being nibbled to death by ducks.

    As deaths go, this is a pretty adorable way to die.

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    The aide was probably terrified when you said "Did you ask management about this?" which led to a knee-jerk reaction of "I didn't do anything wrong!" Know that anytime you want to speak to her privately, she is going to feel like she's in big trouble, even if she's not. Think of it like this... when you were a kid, if you got called down to the principal's office, how would you feel?

    You're the principal, she's the kid.

    In every interaction you have with her she feels that she's being judged.

    So....

    The way to fix this is to utilize praise, the positive side of judgment. If you want to educate her on something, start by praising her. Then deliver your education.

    In this instance it would go like this:

    "I was so pleased to see that your relative was volunteering to help the residents. Clearly you care very much about our residents. I wanted to let you know that we have to fill out some paperwork to get so-and-so approved as a volunteer." Boom. Problem solved.

    You could also express this same thing now to do damage control. But as you know an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

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    • Experts

    Sometimes tiptoeing around "sensitive" people can backfire. A truly sensitive person doesn't want to cause you distress, either. So if you point out that something is in violation of policy, they will likely apologize and not do it again. When someone uses their "sensitivity" to continually keep you on the defensive, that's just manipulation. Don't cave to it.

    Forget the nursery school routine. Tell Miss Sensitive kindly that what she did was a violation of policy and you expect to not see it again. No emoting. No dancing around. Just the facts. Do not go around fearing "retaliation". That's when the inmates start running the asylum.

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