when crazy family member is also a nurse

[rnto?]

What do you do when family members introduce themselves as a nurse and say things that are just plain wrong? (from a medical information perspective) How do you educate someone who thinks they already know everything because they too are a nurse?

[robinbird]

What do you do when family members introduce themselves as a nurse and say things that are just plain wrong? (from a medical information perspective) How do you educate someone who thinks they already know everything because they too are a nurse?

Know-it-all (and crazy) family members have all different professions, unfortunately some are nurses. You can add to what the person says by saying, "I've found..., I've learned..., In my experience..." without actually saying they are wrong.

[rnto?]

Know-it-all (and crazy) family members have all different professions, unfortunately some are nurses. You can add to what the person says by saying, "I've found..., I've learned..., In my experience..." without actually saying they are wrong.

that's better than what I wanted to say in my head!

[talaxandra]

I usually look very enthusiastic and say things like "That's great! So you know that [we can't give out that information/the fasting has to start from now/a laparoscopic procedure's the best option/this is the generic version of the same medication]." If it turns out that they're really a failed dental nurse, or once walked past a hospital or something they're usually happy at being included.

If they have some wackadoo notion of total wrongness you can then do something like "well, at this hospital we've found x" or "while that's certainly one option, the treating team have found y more effective in this situation."

I also like to ask them where they work or what their background is, but you have to convey interest, not accusation. And sometimes they're experienced, qualified nurses who also happen to be totally nuts.

[sharpeimom]

when you work psych, sometimes you get a fair number of young (under 25 or so) patients whose parents or spouses with older patients who have done a good bit of reading and/or research on their family member's illness.

often they know as much or even more than you do about a less common condition and much more about how their specific family member reacts, but sometimes their information is either outdated or from pop-medical kwim? tv shows or internet sites and is simply incorrect.

i've found i've had to be sooo tactful in giving them the correct or updated information, in a way that neither angers tthem or leaves them feeling foolish. i used to keep xeroxed copies of informative articles on common conditions and diseases handy, so i could hand out copies to read, then keep and refer to later. people will, in my experience, believe what an article or book says before they will listen to you. especially if you look much younger than you really are, as i did and still do.

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

[FLAreN]

Having had family members as patients and being a patient myself, I know that mistakes can happen even with the best intentions. Thus, coming from the "crazy nurse" perspective, if i suspect or suggest that something is not how I perceive it should be, I would be open to a non-confrontational explanation as to why one is doing something or not doing something. There is definitely more than one way to skin a cat so education and PROPER communication is key.

I don't think there is any way you would be able to ask me where I work, how long, what I do, etc. . .that would not be transparent and offensive. THIS is why "crazy nurses" act the way they do. It is not your place as the nurse to judge the culture of your patient or their family members. Culture includes their professional culture. It is your duty to facilitate and guide them. Just my 2 cents.

[RN1980]

crazy family members can really put added pressure on your job but dealing with a lunatic family member thats a nurse is just about the worse. thank god for locked door icu's.

[ShayRN]

When told someone is a nurse, I usually ask what area they work in. That way I know where to start with education. As a Hospice nurse, I want to know if someone is an oncology nurse or an OB nurse. That tells me a lot about what I need to know. I have found MOST nurses that work in a completely different area of nursing tell me "treat me like I am not a nurse, I don't know anything about this..." Usually the ones who insist on telling me how to do my job are STNA's or Medical Assistants OR are nurse family members that live 1000 miles away and are directing care via telephone.

[Zookeeper3]

I ask the nurse to explain to me what they think is going on... then I can get an idea if they have a clue or not and which direction to go. This usually is the eye opener and I've had some doozy's along the way... as well as good nurses that were given the complete wrong picture from a family member then they've come in and they are way off the line.

[diane227, LPN, RN]

Just because they say they are a nurse does not mean they are an RN. Second, what kind of nursing do they do? Third, they may very well know very little about what type of nursing you do. Until I know about them, I treat them like everyone else. If I determine that they are actually are RN's and have a good knowledge base then I will do more to include them in planning and education of the patient if it is agreeable to the patient. I have had a lot of people ID themselves as a "nurse" and found out later they were a CNA or a lab tech.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

I usually look very enthusiastic and say things like "That's great! So you know that [we can't give out that information/the fasting has to start from now/a laparoscopic procedure's the best option/this is the generic version of the same medication]." If it turns out that they're really a failed dental nurse, or once walked past a hospital or something they're usually happy at being included.

If they have some wackadoo notion of total wrongness you can then do something like "well, at this hospital we've found x" or "while that's certainly one option, the treating team have found y more effective in this situation."

I also like to ask them where they work or what their background is, but you have to convey interest, not accusation. And sometimes they're experienced, qualified nurses who also happen to be totally nuts.

And hopefully once in a while, too, they are nurses, intelligent, qualified, and experienced, and not nuts - although haaving a sick loved one in hospital might make them nutty. Just assess the situation, see what approach works best.

[talaxandra]

True, Korky - but the OP did specify "crazy" and a nurse :) I'd like to think we're all able to distinguish between stressed family members and those over-the-top, truly nutty relatives that make your heart drop as soon as you see them.